STRIPPERS In The CLUBXXX
by teamkokotwo
Summary: Nobody knew that visiting a strip club would bring on so much heartache, drama, and crime. Had half of them known what would occur in their lives later that month, they wouldn't have ever stepped in. [HIRO X ZERO TWO FIC. STRIPPER AU]
1. Chapter 1

"We're taking you somewhere special for your birthday this time," said Zorome to a clueless Hiro.

"...What?" Hiro gulped.

"It'll be fine! it's about time you get out of the house, dude!"

Zorome nodded his head. "Every time your birthday comes you always sit in the house. Well, guess what? Not this year."

"I don't want to go anywh—"

Before Hiro could finish his sentence, he was pulled out of his gamer chair by both his bros.

His unfinished bag of Doritos fell the floor, but before he could pick it up, he was out the door.

Goro dragged Hiro into Zorome's 2006 Honda Odyssey minivan and buckled him up so he couldn't escape before he could protest. There were empty cans of Mountain Dew and old hot dogs on the floor, and the outside had flames painted on it.

"W-What the—?!" Hiro said, looking away before his Doritos decided to come back up and pay him a second visit.

"Just trust us," said Zorome, not looking at the road as he backed the car out of the driveway. The back tire hit the curb and Hiro flew up, hitting the ceiling. "You're gonna have a real fun time, Hiro."

"I don't know what you mean, but..." Hiro swallowed so hard that you could hear the 'gulp' sound. "But alright, I guess."

"That's the spirit!" Goro said encouragingly, shooting a thumbs-up at Hiro from the passenger seat.

* * *

"Guh!" Hiro breathed heavily as he threw himself out of the car. That was a nightmare.

"You're overreacting, dude! I stopped for at least _one_ red light," Zorome rolled his eyes and stepped out of his 2006 Honda Odyssey minivan that was parked in front of a "No Parking" sign.

"Did you remember to bring the money?" asked Goro.

"M-Money..? ...For what?" asked a still dizzy Hiro.

Goro and Zorome just smirked at him simultaneously. Hiro did not trust those smirks.

Quickly, they grabbed him by both his arms and started to pull him into a shady looking building. It was only then did Hiro read the sign for his sweet birthday party location.

"...S-S-Strippers In The CLUBXXX?!"

There was a moving neon sign of a lady with big breasts and a huge ass pole-dancing next to the name of the place (which was half-lit). Hiro's eyes bulged out of his head in disbelief as his whole face turned as red as the McDonald's logo.

Damn, Hiro really wished Zorome and Goro had taken him to McDonald's instead of here. Hell, he'd rather be _anywhere_ than here.

He stopped in his tracks, while Goro and Zorome kept walking toward the dirty front doors. "R-R-Really?! A st-strip club?!" Hiro's voice cracked as he said this. Zorome and Goro both turned around to look at him.

Zorome already had a nosebleed. "What? It's a nice place to celebrate! Plus, you need to get out more, dumbass. You can't just sit at home cranking one out alone all the time—"

Hiro, in his embarrassment, pushed past both of his friends and swung the double doors open. It was dark inside, smelled like piss and alcohol, and shitty colored strobe lights were flashing everywhere, blinding him. 'Toxic' by Britney Spears was blaring over the old, dusty speakers.

Hiro was concerned for those speakers, as they sounded like they'd burst at any moment.

Goro and Zorome followed in after him. Goro clapped a hand onto Hiro's shoulder. "We'll make the best of it, yeah, Hiro?" Hiro looked at him with an annoyed look, though Goro was grinning. Beside him, Zorome was beginning to drool at the sight of all the girls dancing.

Hiro knew this was going to be a long night.

The blast of Britney Spears' obnoxiously nasally voice booming into his eardrums was enough to make Hiro's head pound. He just stepped in, but he already needed a drink to calm down. No, not that kind of drink. Hiro is a good Christian boy who attends church every Sunday.

"Heading straight for the bar? You're loosening up for once," Goro laughed and followed him over to the bar, leaving Zorome some who was making a puddle of blood underneath his socks and sandals from his consistent nosebleed.

"He'll be fine," Goro reassured him as they both made their way to the bar. "Sex On The Beach for me and...?" He looked at Hiro.

"..Water... please," Hiro requested sheepishly. Stepping into here has made his throat unusually parched.

The cold glass of ice, crispy water arrived first because it was the easiest to get and secretly came straight from the sink in the public restroom. Hiro took a sip, unaware of this. It still tasted refreshing to him.

In the backdrop, 'Toxic' faded out and was replaced with another booming song that continued to hurt his ears.

'What now?' Hiro thought to himself. His eyes couldn't help but be pulled to the stage like a magnet. Actually all the men in the club were focused on the stage now.

"I know everyone has been waiting for our sexiest performer here tonight. Her curvy and perfect body, her signature pink hair and sharp gaze. Her hot stage presence that makes everyone want to immediately pull out their dicks! Well, here she is — The Virgin Killer!"

A heavily bass-boosted version of 'Fergalicious' faded in from the DJ booth. All the spotlights in the club converged on the thick red curtains leading onto the stage. There were cheers from all the drunk men and some shot glasses thrown.

Looking near the edge of the stage, Zorome was already throwing Monopoly money onto the runway area. It seemed to Hiro that Zorome was too frequent a customer here.

The stripper everyone had been buzzing about finally threw the curtains back and stepped on stage sexily. There was a brief moment of horny silence all throughout before the greasy drunkards all went into a frenzy over her. Zorome's nosebleed increased tenfold, and his drool was running onto the stage.

The Virgin Killer... Hiro's eyes were drawn to her long pink hair and sparkling green eyes. She was wearing blood red lingerie that was practically see-through and barely covered her nipples. Hiro could also see pubic hair even from this distance if he squinted—

—No! He's a pure boy. He mustn't have those vile thoughts lest the Devil make a sinner out of him!

"Oh? The Virgin Killer?" piped up Goro after downing his drink in one chug, who was humming along to 'Fergalicious.' "I heard they call her that because she's taken at least 100 men's virginity—"

Even so, Hiro felt himself drawn to the stage. Goro followed him as he pushed past hobos and various drug dealers to get to Zorome.

"I heard she runs all the guys dry, with no money left! I don't blame them, though." Zorome shrugged and kept throwing his Monopoly money and chocolate coins.

Hiro pressed up against the stage and watched as The Virgin Killer strode up to her pole, licking her lips. It seemed like...maybe she was looking at him?

 _(Four, tres, two, uno)!_

The Virgin Killer hooked her leg around the metal pole, giving Hiro a nice view of one of her thick thighs. It wasn't too fat but not too petite either, and Hiro could even tell the stripper had toned thighs by the well-defined muscles on them.

For a second, his Christian mind started to wonder what those thighs would feel like wrapped around his head.

 _Listen up y'all, cause this is it_

 _The beat that I'm banging is delicious!_

The Virgin Killer dipped her back down, giving the horny drunkards here a nice view of her perfect neck and breasts. Breasts which stood up tall like Mount Everest while her back arched into a perfect "U".

 _Fergalicious definition make the boys go loco_

 _They want my treasures so they get their pleasures from my photo!_

Sensually, The Virgin Killer ascended herself back up and quickly raised the other leg, wrapping itself around the pole like a snake.

"God, I wish I was that pole!" screamed Zorome passionately as he threw more chocolate coins at the stage, one managing to hit Hiro clean in the eye, but he didn't care.

The Virgin Killer extended one leg out and twirled her body around the pole slowly, the support of her thick thighs preventing her from falling onto her ass like a professional.

 _You can see me, you can't squeeze me_

 _I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy_

 _I got reasons why I tease 'em_

 _Boys just come and go, like seasons!_

The Virgin Killer then released the pole entirely much to Hiro's shock, but she was so good that she didn't immediately fall to the ground and get a concussion like an amateur would.

The stripper used only her _thighs_ to hold her weight on the pole and she laid back, hanging upside down!

The Virgin Killer was now directly in front of him, offering him a flirtatious wink that made Hiro gulp. The glass of water in his hand shook as he nervously raised it to his mouth, taking seven to eight large gulps of the cold liquid.

Some of it spilled onto Hiro's shirt from how nervous he was. At the same time, Hiro also began to sweat. His whole face was drenched in it and he was already beginning to smell pungently salty.

A bunch of stench fumes wafted off of him like Spongebob's breath from the episode where he ate that fucked up sundae. Several people around Hiro (including Zorome) stepped away from him to avoid certain death.

As he was watching The Virgin Killer finish up her immaculate routine, Hiro's hands started to tremble, making him drop his glass. It shattered with a loud _BOOM_ on the cheap, greasy linoleum floor. Thankfully, the music and horny screaming was even louder, and covered up the noise.

More drunkards were congregating toward the edge of the stage, dancing sloppily and reaching out to try and touch The Virgin Killer, who was sexily dragging her thin lingerie sleeves down her shoulder. She was even licking her pole, saliva rolling down the cold metal. All of the men were staring at every action, throwing away all their dirty money at her.

Beer kept getting spilled on Hiro by these same men, as their balance and grip weren't the best. He was slightly annoyed since his Dorito-powder-stained PSP was still in his pants' pocket, and was probably not going to work very well tomorrow. As a result of the beer, Hiro also smelled of gas station alcohol. You could see the stains even though his shirt was navy blue, though now it looked more like black.

The Virgin Killer began picking up the bills on the stage floor and stuffing them into the string bra of her lingerie. There were whistles and gleeful screams coming from the crowd. She even grabbed some of Zorome's (nose)blood-soaked paper Monopoly money and wet Poker chips and stuffed them into the panty portion of her lingerie.

Hiro was mesmerized. This woman seemed to make every action look sexy and arousing. And the way she had winked at him, and stared... He couldn't get it out if his brain. His heart (and dick) was thumping hard.

"I told you you'd like it!" yelled Zorome right into Hiro's ear. He elbowed Hiro hard in the side. He had been watching Hiro stare at the stripper. While he said this, though, Zorome spilled some of his beer on his fake tuxedo shirt that he bough at the dollar store.

Hiro looked at him with a fearful expression, and then looked around to find Goro.

But...he was gone!

* * *

Thank you so much for reading our first story on FFNET! Please leave you comments and criticisms in the reviews :) We plan on making this story fairly long with a complex plot, with lots of twists and turns. We hope you will enjoy our AU take on Hirotwo's relationship :) —TeamKokoTwo


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the bunch of reviews and follows! It really inspired us to spice it up a little for you guys! So, without further ado, here is chapter 2. Chapter 3 will be, in one word: SMEXY. 😉 So, look forward to that. Send us your criticism and ideas to make this story even better. — Team KokoTwo

* * *

Hiro was frantic, turning and looking all throughout the Club. Where had Goro gone? His VantaBlue eyes kept scanning all the faces of the drunk men, until—

there! Goro was seated at the bar, drinking another beer. In fact, there were Several tall glasses and bottles on the chipped countertop around him, all empty. he seemed to be unsteady in his stool, about to fall over.

But...he was also laughing and smiling more than he had the whole night. Ah yes, Hiro thought, Goro was a Good Christian Boy after all. More of a Good Christian Boy than even Hiro was. Goro was a saint, actually. of course he would enjoy spending time at the bar rather than ogle the strippers.

Also, it looked like Goro was happily chatting with the bartender, who had short VantaBlue hair and pee green eyes. She was also very short. Was she even old enough to work in a strip club? Was she old enough to even have a job?

"Goro!" Yelled Hiro, running toward him while dragging Zorome with him. He was holding Zorome by his ruined shirt, sort of choking his neck. At least this way Zorome would stop running his mouth and instead could focus on trying not to die from asphyxiation.

Goro was too drunk to properly respond, and instead slurred his words. The bartender giggled.

"We're leaving now" said Hiro firmly, helping Goro up with his other hand.

As soon as he turned to walk toward the door and took a few steps, he heard a sultry voice behind him.

"—where are you going?"

Hiro froze in his skeleton that jittered against his blood vessels and meat from how startled he was. W-Who was that...? It sounded like a woman's voice.

When he turned around, Hiro's eyes bulged and he had to hold back all the water he downed from wasting away in his pants right then and there. I-I-It was the Virgin Killer!

"H-Huh?" Hiro stammered.

His turquease eyes did the shameful, un-Christian (sinful-like) thing by lowering themselves and seeing the stripper's large Bosom and perfect, baby-making Hips.

"Gulp!" Hiro swallowed and quickly averted his eyes in embrassment.

The Verizon Killer smirked slyly and took a step closer, sticking her hip out sexily as she did like she was trying to seduce him.

"I said.. where are you going, _Darling~_?"

 _D-Da...?!_

"Umm! I think you have the wrong person!" Hiro quickly tried to explain himself.

The Virgin Killer only giggled.. kinda Cutely? Yet so sexily at the same time that it made Hiro's face heat up like an Easy Bake Oven.

 _'H-Holy shit.'_

"I know who I'm speaking to, Darling~." Zero Two wrapped her arms around Hiro like a Bao constrictor snake.

"I saw you lookin' at me _extra_ hard today. you know.. You caught my attention the most out of those fodders."

"..Fodders..?" hiro asked.

"Mm. stupid, boring men. hey, wanna come to the back room with me? I can give you a little..." The Virgin Killer leaned in, pressing her beautiful Bosom against his flat and wimpy chest.

she whispered, "private show."

" **R U SHITTING ME?**!" zorome exclaimed and pushed hiro to the ground, causing him to clash with the greasy and beer covered floor. As soon as Hiro met the floor, he could feel his head spinning.

"why would you need a nerd like him when you can have a strong man like me?! All he does is sit in his room all day like a damn Bat playing Call of Duty and Fortnite!" Zorome puffed his chest out like a man, trying to show off his nonexistent biceps.

He then raised his arms and flexed them, but they were very bonely. still, he kissed them like they were his babies. "This is The Destroyer.." Zorome kissed his left nonexistent muscle. "And this is Max because that name is cool," he kissed his right.

but The Virgin Killer just rolled her eyes and placed her hand into Zorome's face, shoving him back until he fell into a drunk Goro who toppled over.

"Hey, Darlin'. what do you say?" The Virgin Killer asked and leaned over, inevitably putting her Double C breasts into his poor face.

Hiro swallowed harshly again. H-He wanted to say Yes, but what would God say?! He couldn't engage in something so Devil-like! What should he tell her without offending her?

His mind was racing as fast as Lightning McQueen. All of his thoughts were screaming 'Kachow' at him... what would he do?

Hiro rubbed the bulge in his crotch feverishly.

meanwhile Goro, who was still squirminf on the floor, had thrown up all over Zorome's grandpa sandals and Snapchat Dancing Hotdog print socks. He was cursing at Goro but all Goro did was

So Hiro looked away and his head began twitching. Then his eyes. "HhhhHhhhehhhehh" was all Hiro Said, making the Virgin Kiler stare at him and blink.

She crossed her arms and her tiddies bulged out of her skimpy lingerie.

On the floor still, Goro had began to lick the vomit off of Zorome's feet. Surprisingly Zorome was enjoying it, But it's not like he would tell anyone that. He was lowkey moaning too.

But then Teh Virginia Killer erupted into laughter so loud that her bewbs began to bouncy like she was in a bouncy house that your parents rented for ur birthday. She grabbed hiro's arm and began running toward the back room, which had curtains blocking them from outside view.

""WAIT A DAMN MINUTE WHAT R U DOING!?" scremed Zorome, who was blushing from the toejob Goro was still giving him and trying to get his boner to go away. Zorome stepped over Goro's flaccid body, hearing the bones crack, and sprinted over, trying to find Hiro and the Virgin Killer.

By now Hiro was being forcibly dragged along, tho it's not like he was complaining at all. This had been what his medium-length and medium-girth dick had been begging him to do all night. He was still yelping " **A** a **A** h **A** **AA** hh **H** h!—" as The Virgin Killer pushed through the crowds of her fodder and dragged Hiro across the floor, permanently damaging his Crocs.

"We're hear" she said, throwing Hiro onto the couch and flinging the curtains shut. Hiro's heart was beating fast like Sonic the Hedgehog. The Virgin Killer licked her plump lips (no, not *those* lips you dirty Sinners) and put her hands on either side of Hiro's head on the concrete graffitti-covered wall.

She leaned in seductively when suddenly Zorome burst in. "HEY!" He spilled a moldy Can of Coke onto them while Goro crawled in, his head twitching and stained from the rest of the club stepping on him. "i want some of this action you cant have it all for urself Hero!"

The moldy Coke-A Cola made Hiro and The Viagra Killer gasp loudly. It rushed down their clothes like it would if one stood underneath a waterfall made out of disease and unhealthy carbonated sugar.

The Viirgin Killer was **LIVID** now. Hiro thought he saw her eyes flash tomato red for a second, but he couldn't be sure. It could've easily been the pulse lights from the club reflecting into her beautiful orbs.

Beautiful orbs of pure anger.

The Virgin killer whipped around and took Zorome by the front of his Thrift Shop shirt, pulling him into the air with abnormal strength.

"You will leave darling and i alone. i'm not up for a threesome today," The virgin killer growled.

"H-Hey!" Zorome said nervously, kicking his tiny midget legs in the air frantically. "Why the heck not?! Hey, just grab my stuff! i've seen Hiro's junk, it's not impressive. it's like the size of my pinky, you need a real man who can destroy that kitty—"

 **CRASH.**

The Virgin Killer threw Zorome into the next room over, falling through the curtains. a loud crash of a table was heard, glass bottles clattering to the floor alongside the scream of a woman and a man.

Hiro felt bad for him. "Hey! You didn't have to go that far you know! i never even agreed to this, i can't pay you or anything you know!"

The Virgin Killer stared at him blankly as he frantically scoured for his Captain America wallet.

"See?!" He opened it for her and allowed her to watch the pennies fall out. hiro was only a gamer, he didn't work a job.

"Oh, Darlin, that's okay~," The Virgin Killer purred and got down on the couch with him, towering over him like a skyscraper on her knees. Her pelvis was right in Hiro's face, giving him a whiff of the scent of Women's Shaving Cream and a honey-like perfume. With this proximity, Hiro couldn't take his eyes away from the pubes sticking out from her sexy, scarlet red G-String.

Even though it was dowsed in moldy Coke-A-Cola that made his nose wrench and his eyes water, she was so... Hot.

"I know a way you can pay for it..." The Virgin Killer whispered into his ear seductively, hand tracing down his unfit chest.

The soda from both their bodies were beginning to drip onto each other now, but Hiro was too dazed and turned on by her to care.

 _(Author's Note: DAYUUUM he about to get some huh?!)_

"A-And what's that?" Hiro gulped, afraid of where this night for him would lead.

"...With your body," The Virgin killer whispered naughtily and started to slowly inch his way near his pulsating girth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Last time on STRIPPERS In The CLUBXXX:**

 _"I know a way you can pay for it..." The Virgin Killer whispered into his ear seductively, hand tracing down his unfit chest._

 _"A-And what's that?" Hiro gulped, afraid of where this night for him would lead._

 _"...With your body," The Virgin killer whispered naughtily and started to slowly inch his way near his pulsating girth._

 **(RECAP OVER)**

* * *

Hiro gulped thiccly.

"W-WAIT! Virgin Killer, don't!" Hiro yelped, but The Virgin kill's hand continued to shimmy and shake down towards his naughty area.

Dangerously, she licked her plump lips.

"hehe why should i stop?" the virgin killer giggled, looking at hiro with 'i'm gonna fuck u so hard u aren't gonna feel a thing when u limb out of here eyes'.

"B-b-because...! I'm a..."

"Hmmmmm? Wat is it, darling?" The Virgin Killer's hand reached his zipper which caused Hiro to flush red like hot Chile peppers.

His schlong leaped into her hand like Leap Frog.

'H-H-Holy fuck!* hiro thought inside his head.

 **"BECAUSE I'M A VIRGIN!"** Hiro scramed, eyes clenched shut in humiliation.

He was a filthy, loser virgin. Now she will definitely laugh at him, won't she? He didn't deserve someone as hot and beautful as her.

He heard The Virgin Killer LOL at him and hiro tried his hardest not to cry at that Very moment.

Hiro had to leave! he pushed the virgin killer off of him and was about to leave in thick, fat tears but a hand grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him back onto the Red Velvety satin love seat.

"H-Huh?" Hiro was confused. He blinked up at The Virgo Kiler through his blurred vision.

Now she was on **TOP** of him and still licking her hips, a dangerous look in her ears.

"W-What do you want from me? Let me go! DONT YOU SEE IM JUST A STUPID VIRGIN LOSER?!" hiro yelled.

The Virgin Killer giggled and leaned in until her mouth was directly against his ear. He could smell the Taco Bell Extra Meat Crispy Burrito she had for lunch from how close she was.

"I want your... _Créme De Lá Penis_ ," the Virgin Killer whispered saucily in France, causing Hiro to shudder like he was having a seizure.

Holy crap... She was so Hot?

"my... _cream del penís_?" hiro's french was Not good and he butchered the words completely. They way he said it made it sound like a Taco Bell special limited time off the menu item.

"Yah." El Virgín Killa licked Hero's ear spicily. The saliva was dripping from his ear's asshole all the way out onto his neck. His ear was Absolutely covered in the sexy stripper's sexy spit.

Yum. Hiro was Absolutely turned on and started twitching madly, much like the incapacitated, barely alive Goro on the floor.

Wait. **HIS FRIENDS!¡!**

Just as the Virgin killer was sliding her long fingers down to grab his 1-inch micropenis, Zorome stumbled back into teh room, ripping the curtains off. **HOLD IT!"** he yelled, doing his best Phoenix Wright impression. His ahoge (antennae) was waving back and forth so fast that it was a blur. _Wao-wao!_

zorome-kun's sock and sandal clad feet trampled over Gorro's head Again as he stomped drunkenly over to hiro (even tho all he had drunk tonight was moldy stale coke). He grabed Hiro by the collar. " _WHO_ saiD you two could—!"

The Virgin Killer slapped him again, knocking him out Cold. he landed on top of Goro and both of their unconscious bodies were now kissing each other. (A/N: dirty yaoi xD)

"Now, where were we, darling" asked the virgin killer, grinding her crotch against Hiro and cupping his face. Hiro was in Shock again, his face as white as the Haunted Mattress from the Spongebob Halloween Special.

"D-d-d-d-darling..?!"

The Virgin Killer licked hiro's face, all the way from his greasy black bangs to his bony neck. "im gonna kill ur virginity"

Just Then There Was Another Interruption:

"oh hey they said they were selling corndogs in here—" It was Futoshi-kun, who despite wanting to buy food already had a crappy looking burger from the bar in his hand. it looked like the Nasty Patty.

Hiro wasn't surprised by that fact or the fact the futoshi was here too. he often went here with zorome after all. The virgin killer looked at him, sneerring, and rolled her eyes so hard they almost got stuck at the back of her head.

"whats up home skillet?" said Zorome to his friend as he momentarily went back into consciousness. Then he passed our again.

meanwhile Futoshi was looking around at the scene before him, from hiro and The Virgin Killer moments away from fucking their brains out and zoromE and Goro "making out" on the dirty greasy floor.

""Tell ur friends to stahp cockblocking us" said The Virgin Killer as she squeezed hiro's micropenis , fully taking it out of his ugly jeans. Hiro squeaked loud like a mouse, his voice cracking. "You're mine, Darlin'

Thë Vīrgíñ Kìlłėr starting jerking Hero off right there in front of futoshi, who was just standing there and eating his burger, not even phased. Even Zorome and goro slipped back into consciousness for a moment to watch all this juicy sex like it was a porno.

Hiro shut his eyess, even tho the sensation was so wonderfull. Maybe this birthday would be great after all.

Before he even knew it, Hiro was moaning like a slut. La Virgin Killer held onto his dingle-dangle with an iron grip that made him start to leak tears, but the stripper was pulling his masochist side out of him, so Hero liked it.

He didn't know he liked pain. Was it okay for Christans to like pain? God may say no, but his pènis said 'fuck yeah baby'.

"Wow, this is better than my Kdramas," said futoshi, taking a bite into his sewer green Nasty Patty that was dripping with questionable grease that smelled like feces.

"Oh, shit! This is gonna make me bucks on FranXXXHub!" Zorun quickly took his iPhone out of his pocket which was severely cracked, but somehow still usable.

he held the iPhone up and zoomed in on the goods, Zorome imagining all of the views and moo-lah he'd get from this babe destroying his Virgin Mary best friend.

"I want a closer seat," Futoshi spoke and walked towards The Viagra Killer with hefty footsteps until he towered right above them, not giving them even an inch of space.

He gazed down at them like a creepy pervert, a drop of blood dripping down from his right nostril as his face became rojo (A/N: that's red in spanish) like he struck the porno jackpot.

as Futoshhe took another bite into his burger without looking, all of the Nasty Patty's contents slid out from between the warm and soggy buns, Spilling all onto Hjro's dick.

"Oops," said futoshi.

"Mhmmmm!" Hiro leaned his head all the way back and moaned.

He now had liquidy ketchup and mustard all over his schlong, as well as onions, sliced up tomato, pickles, and that mysterious watery brown oil which still smelled like shit.

Even though the Virhin Killer's hand was covered in greasy hamburger content and so was Hiro's Bad Boy, she still continued to aggressively jerk him off, spreading the mustard and ketchup all over his thingy.

He wouldn't last at this rate!

The seductive virgin killer's grease-covered hands slipped off of Hiro's Meat Stick due to the various expired condiments from the burger. As she cursed from her groove being broken Futoshi took the opportunity to grab some of the cum-slicked moldy onion slices and put them back on his Nasty Patty.

He took a big bite of it with a content look on his face. "Woah it tastes even saltier! I'll have to use this in the future..." and so he kept eating as Zorome suddenly moved his iPhone 3 camera to him instead and zoomed in all the way. Zoroome was beginning to moan like the bottom he was as he watched futoshi stuff his face with the burger. zorome also started to reach down to unzip his pants—

—But the Virgin killer ignored everyone else and licked her lips, looking up at Hiro with her pickle-colored eyes. "I want to eatt you" The virgin KilleR's soft, dick-sucking lips lowered down in slow motion to Hiro's tiny meat beater. All of the ketchup and mustard made his dick even more enticing to her. It would be better if it was honey on it, though.

"H-h-h-h," hiro squirmed while watching the virgin killer purse her lips and giggle a little. His 1.5 inch (when erect) eggplant started trembling. The stripper's lips finally parted as her face was close enough to her destination.

She licked mustard off the tip. Hiro's schlong had already been slicked with precum since The Virgin Killer had started jerking him off, but hiro could feel like he was beginning to **explode.** teh vrigin killer licked around his cock and started to stroke his tiny, tender testes. Her head was bobbing up and down, ketchup flyig everywhere.

He had done these motions so many times before by himself in his dark musky basement while on hentaihaven-dot-com but having a hot girl do it was...something so amazing.

"I-i-i-i'm g-gonna **CUM** ¡" screeched Hero-kun while his voice cracked. The virgin killer smirked up at him seductively and felt hiro's hot Seed squirt into her mouth lije a Nerf water gun.

"Boku no...DarlinG DA!"

(You are now...My Darling!)

" **AHHHHHHHHHGGHHHGHHHGGGHHHH**!" hiro came, shooting all of his milky milk into The Virgin Griller's awaiting mouth.

"Haah, haah" Hiro panted afterwards. Even after he came, the stripper was still sucking him off, milking him like he was a Mother cow and his micro-schlong was his utter.

It was so hot, but it hurt. However, he liked the pain. he wouldn't be a Christopher after this. He was a Satanist, but satanism felt so much more appealing than it did before?

Why did his parents try to convert him to christainity when S-M-E-X was so good? Hiro would never go back again.

after all he couldn't.

His virginity was... **kill.**

* * *

[line here]

We hope that you are thoroughly enjoying our story thus far. Any feedback, comments, or concerns left in the reviews are greatly appreciated.

Signed,

TeamKokoTwo, better known as incorrectdarlifra


	4. Chapter 4

**INSIDE, 0800 HOURS**

hiro slowly woke up at the sound of some loud noises, his vision a haze. obviously the ecstasy and alcohol last night had been too much for his good abstinent christian body to take. he couldnt even remember what had happened after he had cummed into the virgin killer's cock-fondling mouth twice and lost all sense of consciousness.

his cum covered cheek was pressed against the Dirty moldy coke stained floor, and his shirt was off... and nailed to the wall. whaT the fucky? sitting up, hero felt the burger still inside his nasty jeans, grinding against his .5 inch microdick with every movement he made

feeling all the condiments Turned him on like donkey kong.

when he looked around, goro was sitting in a pile of puke, and zorome and futoshi were naked on the floor next to each other, zorome's cracked ass iphone 3 still open on FranXXXHub.

""What the flip flop?' Said hiro as he looked at the scren, Picking it up. The video pulled up started playing automatically. it showed the virgin killer jerking his hose off, then sucking on his tiny hot dog. then it panned to futoshi eating, and el gorro on the floor spasming. then there was hiro yelling, beer bottles thrown, and the screen went black.

he threw the phone away. his heart was pounding. he felt like a **SINNER**.

when he looked arojnd, he realized another important detail... **THE VERGIN KILLER WASNT IN THE ROOM ANYMORE.**

pankicing, hero stood up, his balance wobbling as he fell to the ground agaain, right jnto Goro's vomit. he licked it and it tasted Good but he had already discovered more than one of his repressed kinks today and he didnt need to add one more to that list. instead he got up again and brushed himself off.

but Zorome stirred onnthe ground in front if him. "hwey dwude"! he said slurring his words. Hiro ignored him and tryed to pry his shirt off the wall, but it was stuck from the nails and starchy, sticky substance that made it hard as a rock.

zorome tugged on his pants legs, sending hero face first on the Ground Again. he was also screaming "HEY"

Hido looked at him and winced. zorome sat up, his veiny penis becoming erect suddenly when futoshi stirred in his sleep and accidentally touched his thigh. "well, you're welcome."

Hiro blinked. Oh. For helping him lose his virginity, huh? "i guess... I-it wasnt so bad after all..."

zorome clapped his back and yelled "Yáttá! you were so into it man, when she started sucking you off a third time you called her 'mommy@' and everything—"

" **WHAT.** " Hiro was breathign heavy like he was having an asthma attack and panic attack at the same time. zorome weanwhike was laughing hysterically, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"yeah, and then you drank a whole bottle of vodka, and you bet futoshi he couldnt eat 10 more of those burgers and when he did you lost $50—"

hiro stood up AGAIN quickly to drown out zorome's rambling and went toward the curtains, hearing the ruckus outside that had woken him upl. he opened the velvety, blood red, cum and burger juice stained curtains just a little bit and peered outside at the rest of the club.

the double doors were wide open, and a short, perverted looking old man with only one arm was being dragged out by the po-po.

" **YOULL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPERS** " he was saying, even tho he was currently tied up. the head police officer tased him.

zorome popped up underneath the curtains, saying, "oh that's werner franxx! i know him, he owns the club!"

A red-headed woman with huge titties and a thicc ass was looking at the scene quite proudly. she had probably been the one to snitch on the owner for what hiro could overhear was 'prostitution and tax evasion.' "i wont let you run this shady club anymore, hakase!!!1!!! (A/N: that's doctor in japanese) not if i have anything to say about it! i must help these poor girls.""

there was another stripper there, clad in bright green, skimpy lingerie. she had long ash blonde hair that went down to her fat ass. and...She was also heavily pregnant, and must have been only a month or two away from giving birth. her hips and belly were **HUGE** as were her boobies. the lingerie looked very tight, but hiro decided not to kinkshame.

she was talking with the virgin Kill, who was looking at the scene unimpressed. hiro stared at the sexy stripper... was this what love felt like? no, this was the devil's work! he shouldnt be tempted like this again!

but... the virgin killer looked at him, her eyebrow raised. she _smiled_. Hiro felt his heart skip a beat. he listened in closer, to the pregnant stripper who began to talk in her soft voice.

"ñe, zero tsu-chan, where are we going to work if the club shuts down?~" this woman was none other than kokoro, futoshi's ex-fiancee and baby mama who left him because instead of paying child support he would spend his money on kpop tickets and merch.

"WOAH THAT'S-A SPICY MEAT-A-BALLS" yelled zoorome, staring at kokoro's giant water balloons. her pregnant tiddies were fat and her nipples were hard, leaking creamy delicious milk. zorome wanted to Succ hard on them like he was a piglet and she was the mama pig. It was a good thing futoshi was still passed out from his food coma, otherwise zorome probably would have been smacked.

hiro stared at him.Zoromek was nose bleeding again and his whole face was red like Bob the Tomato from VeggieTales. hiro loved VeggieTales, it was his favorite christian show. he went behind the curtains again to assess this incriminating situation.

"idk maybe i'll work in another club. you'll probably die during childbirth, so don't worry about it," the virgin killer, now known as Zero Toe, rolled her eyes behind herthick Maybelline lashes.

( _maybe it's maybelline~_ )

Minutes after the perverted, amputated club owner was dragged out, hiro's friend mitsuru stepped into the club.

"Holy sh*t" mitsuru grimaced as soon as he walked in, feeling a tsunami of nausea wash through his lurching stomach when the putrid smells of must, vomit, spoiled food, and Alcohol assaulted his nostrils.

"oh god" he spun around and doubled over, PUKING all over the ground and letting all of the 5 Star Restaurant Food he had for breakfast all out on the grass. His family was rich with 1.8Billion buck-o-roos because they owned the company Apple. it was so sad that his father, Shūta Jobs, died.

If Hiro had that much money, he could be the richest player in Foreskin Nite!

he dabbed his mouth with a fancy, silky satin handkerchief that had a cursive 'M' sewed in the corner. then, he turned around while still holding the fabric to his nose like a Gas Mask.

"zoorome was talking about it yesterday but i didnt think u guise would actually go to this dump." mitsuru was fuckin sick. if he stayed a sec longer in here, he would have to go to the Emergency Room from cheap whiskey and Idiot Poisoning.

"mitsuru?" hiro said. he culdn't believe he knew where to find them? god, it was a good thing Zorome was such a loud mouth since he doubted any of them could drive in their current states.

"w-wow! whatta ベイブ (babe)" the preggo stripper in the clad green lingerie whispered loudly as she blushed, bweebs jiggling up and down in excitement. Those were her little girls.

Hero could see something thick and wet start to leak between her legs, reaching all the way down to her France manicured toes and creating a puddle like the weatherman predicted a forecast with an 90% chance of rain.

 **D-DID HER WATER BREAK??????**

"HOLY CRAP ITS NIAGARA FALLS UP IN HERE!" zoroooome YELLED.

"bitch did ur water break?" as ked ゼロツー. (that's Zero Two)

"h-huh?" the pregnunt stripper became self aware and tried to hide herself behind the Virgin killer. "oh my kámï! d-don't look at me! i'm just a little horny" she squeaked.

a little? more like a lot. hiro thought she was gushing like a mcFreakin dam over there. soon enough, this strip club would not only be abandoned but flooded.

But... she was sorta cute however not cute like the Virgin Killer.

"i'm gonna need therapy after this," mitsuru groaned as he walked up towards them. "come on. get your asses in the car before i decide to beat you in front of these cheap sluts righ t now"

the green strip blushed. "slut?" from behind zero two, she bit her lip like she was trying to hold in a heavy piss. "kámï i need to speak to that hunk!"

Kokoro pushed her way past them, her large pregnant belly knocking zorome to the floor and back on top of the sleeping futoshi.

"wOoOoAH!!!" yelled zorome, but nobody cared. When he fell on Futoshi's stomach, his vomit gushed out like a fancy water fountain and coated Zorum all in it. "H-holy fuck... wait this actually smells kinda nice?"

As she walked up to mitchel, her boobs swayed side to side, looking like it was gonna escape her thin bikini strips at any moment.

her Fat ass also giggled, but Hiro wouldn't look at them like that! no! curves are the devil's toy!

Yet his hard Micro 0.5 Pussy Destroyer said somethin different.

"hey hot stuff~" the green wearing stripe winker at him.

"Who The Fuck Are You?" glared misuru-kun.

on the inside, mitsubishi-kun was sweating buckets. his 2 inch penis (longer than hiro's, which was the one and only thing he had over him) was suddenly becoming hot and sweaty in his pants. he was pretty sure he had a half-chub by now, just from looking at this stripper's leaky milky Mommy tits and huge swollen baby bump

Yeah he had a pegnante kink so what?

anyway, misturu remained as assholey and douchey as ever as this blonde bimbo Slid up to him like a gold digger.

'damnnnn he looks like he can pay the bill$' thought kokoro, seductively leaninng in closer to Mitsuu and rubbing her stomach. "i-i'm k-kooko.." she said shyly, the puddle of vagina squirt growing

"Well What The Fuck Do You Want" said missouri , slicking his greasy hair gelled hair back. it was poop green colored and vey dry with dandruff flakes falling off. but mitsuru's dick was **SHAKING** with perverted ecstasy. his whole 2.3 inches of erect mini hotdog were pulsating like.a heart having a heart attack. Yeah.

to kansas-chan he looked like the kind of man who wouldnt waste his child support on shitty idol groups. "oh , i just thought you were really cute and—" Koko stepped closer, accidentally hitting him with her pregurt boobies and belly, making mitsuruuuu LOSE it. his Coochie Destroyer went fully erect, making a tent in his Versace pants.

"FUCKY' thiught mitsuru, stepping away from the woman. "WELL GOOD FOR u" And mistudu pushed past both of the cheap strippers to meet up with his """friends"""

hilo was still shirtless, and he was holding up gowo army-stylewho looked like he was goinf to Be brain dead for the Rest of his Life. The (burger)vomit-covered Zoorome was trudging next to a woozy footoshi who also looked like death itself.

zero-2 opened her mouth so speak (yell) at him and talk to hiro again, but missouri pushed past her hurriedly and gestured for the other guys to hurry it up

"darling@ " she said anyway, grabbing Hero by his sleeve. he looked at her dumbstruck. she whipped a pen out from between her breasts and wrote a phone number on his arm, then pushed him away.

he fell into zorome.

"HEY YOU PUSSY BITCH— oh its you hiro sorry, you ylooked like Mitsuru for a second". zorome slapped him HARD on the back and continued walking toward the door.

futoshi and kokoro exchanged some awkward but still Soft(tm) glances as they passed since they were both so kind and soft anyway. everythinf they did was Soft(tm). Well florida-kun blushed but said nothing. all he was thinking about was buying those BTS ticjets with kokoo's child support money.

when they got outside,

the po-po was still outside assessing the situation

"oh shit!!!" Said zorome , "i aint getting caught again"

the way he said again made hiro nervous, but everyone stopped anyway and ducked behind the grossly unkempt bushed out front. there was litter and wrappers and soda cans and styrofoam cups in them. and also dog shit.

Zorome grabbed his friends by their collars and threw them closer to tbe floor. mitsuru cursed at him but zorome Spit in his toad face. "look hoes," zorome began , looking at each of them. goro's glasses were cracked and he looked like he was high. hiro was sweating profusely onto mitsuru. futoshi was eating a **_THICC_** GoGurt he had found in his back pocket. "we CANT just go out there to the car"

el coche era el Bentley de Mitsuru-kun, que estaba estacionado en el estacionamiento justo detrás de la policía.

"ugh if only i commuted succidal months ago, i wouldnt be stucuk here wit u losers," mitsuru chided. if the media sAw him getting arrested it was over for him.

hiro was also worried. he just interacted with his first Hot Spicy Mama in several SEVERAL years and now he could get arrested?????

he culdnt let that happen! he just lost his virgnintea and he couldn't go behind bars without calling the Virgin Kill before he got home!

"hey u Losers need help?" a sultry voice then whispered behind them, making hiro and zorome jump@in their foreskin. Mitsuru accidentally came in his pants cuz he was already hornhorn. meanwhile, futoshi continued to succ on his Go-Gurt calmly.

zorome screamed like a little screechy girl.

"v-v-vaseline killer?!!?"

0 tsu rolled her eyes. "it's virgin killer, get it right."

mitsuru groaned and rolled his eyes so hard they got stuck behind his eyeballs for 10 long, awkward and spooky seconds.

"grate now the cheap slut in skimpy underwear is gonna tell me what to do?" Mitsuru was too good for this, or so he felt.

he thinks he has BDE (Big Dick Energy) because his dad was Shūta Jobs, but in reality, he's just a spōiled brat with $$$$. (cha-ching!)

"thanks," zero two said, unbothered by what was clearly an insult. "ok listen up sluts, here's what were gonna do—"

"w-wait! virgin killer, do u have any experience with cops???!?" hiro asked, feeling himself getting nervous by the sec but also turned on.

the thought of Virgin Kill being a delinquent criminal or even a cereal killer made his dick and heart pulsate like a mad man.

"oh, d@rlin..., call me zero two~," she winked. " of course i have experience. ive escaped prison like 69 times (A/N: teehee XD) my last escape was this year"

"wOW you're even better than i thot!" exclaimed zorome loudly. somehow the police were fuckin Deaf because they can't hear them from behind this bush.

"w-wait, doesnt that mean your still a wanted criminal as of now?" asked hiro, gulping thickly. To Fap Or Not To Fap?

n-no! he was God's boy ; he can't do that here!

"yea but thats beesides the point" zt waved her hand. "okay now circle up~"

whisperwhisperwhisper*

(...,.,2 MINS LATER...,.,)*

"kokoro play it!"

DUNDUNDUDNUHDUNDH NNNNNNNN~ DUNDUNDUDNDUHH NNNNNN~ (string sounds)

 _Baby, can't you see_

 _I'm calling_

 _A guy like you should wear a warning_

 _It's dangerous_

 _I'm falling_

Toxic by Britney spares boomed from the jukebox inside the club, causing all the policemen's head to turn towards it. even werner who was still yelling and yodeling like a madman poked his head out the car window to watch.

the Birgin Killer has stepped out and started to sexily walk up to one of the officer, circling around them with a sexy wink.

the policeman froze and gripped onto his rifle for deer life.

 _Too high_

 _Can't come down_

 _Losin' my head_

 _Spinnin' 'round and 'round_

 _Do you feel me now?_

ゼロツー started to grind her thicc Kim Kardashian bubble butt against the officer (secret KKK worker's) crotch, causing the policeman to make a massive nosebleed that dyed his navy bleu unfirom shirt Blood Red.

the other policemen watched in awe as she continued to give the poor fool a lap dance.

while the idiot po-pos were distracted, the boyz moved out and snuck past them to reach their car. mitsuro and footshi with their own too.

before hero fully left teh scene he looked back at his Not-But-Defs-Potential-GF seducing the fuck out of em cops. god damn... can she do that to him?

"i'll leave it all to u, Eo To" said hiro Dramatically before running while flailing his arms to ZOROME's car.

"hey... ain't that the wanted criminal? The Man Killer?" one of the po-pos who finally snapped out of it snapped.

"oops looks like time is up." zero-2 said.

she then took the policeman's rifle and shoot up the entire squad of officers who yelled in pain before falling to the ground. while 002 opened fire like a maniac on them, kokoro escaped from the back and fled into her own mucus green colored 2005 Pontiac Aztek

even tho they were on the ground now, 02 continued to blast them up to make sure they were ded whiel Toxic continued to blare from inside the club.

 **THE TASTE OF YOUR LIPS**

 **IM ON A RIDE**

 **YOURE TOXIC IM SLIPPIN UNDER**

 **WIITH A TASTE OF A POISON PARADISE**

"h-holy FUCK!" zorome screamed.

"c-cmon we gotta leave zorome!" hiro tried to keep rationality but he was Fuckin Turned On By how she was Murdering them cops.

"NOT YET THIS IS GOING ON WORLDSQUARE (A:N/ worldstar was changed to worldsquare bc of copyright)!!!!!!!!!" zorome took out his cracked iPhone 3 to record the scene which somehow wa s still working by some miracle Life Support.

futoshi continued to calmly watch as he slurped on his GoGurrt hard, smiling like nothin wild was going on at all. He was accustomed to this craziness from the Kpop fandom after all. "i wish they woul d play BTs instead."

while the po-pos were distracted, werner used his body to break free from the police car and roll out on the ground. jus as the dirty old man was getting back up on his feet, zt shot him in the back.

"we gotta go NOW!!!!" hiro took over the wheel even tho he had no license and put his foot onto the accelerator, driving them away from the scene b4 more cops would cum.

unable to see werner on the ground, hiro accidentally ran over him with the car which squished him to death but Hero didn't notice due to his own Horny panic.

meanwhile misery sighed, having drove away from the monstrosity of a scene minutes ago like a smart person. just as he was gettin on the freeway, he saw kokoro emerged from his backseat with a creepy smile.

it freaked mitsuru out so much that he started to swerve before he regained control of his Bentley again. "What The FUCK Are You Doin Here?????"

oh gee oh my. he's glad she's in the backseat or else she'llllll see his Rock hard 2 inch trying to escape his Gucci pants.

"my car broke down so i crawled into urs," she said with a soft(TM) smile. it made mitsuru wanna cum instantly got a second time but he had to control his horny!

he had to see like an asshole in front of her.

".:...k," said mitsuru coolly.

just when when he thot it couldnt get worse kOko climbed into the front seat and sat her fat ass on his lap.

"k-kokoro?! I Cant See The Road!" he started to swerve, hitting cars left right.

kansas-chan didnt care. she took out his dick from his pants, ready to ride him rite there.


	5. Chapter 5

[LAST **TIME ON GLEE.]**

"Qué coño estás haciendo aquí?"

Oh cielos, oh mi. Es bueno que en el asiento de atrás o más she'llllll ver su rock duro 2 pulgadas intentando escapar de sus pantalones Gucci.

"Mi coche se rompió así que me arrastré a Urs," dijo con una sonrisa suave (TM).

¡Hizo Mitsuru wanna cum al instante tiene una segunda vez pero tenía que controlar su caliente!

Tenía que ver como un idiota delante de ella.

".:... K", dijo Mitsuru fríamente.

Justo cuando cuando Thot se podia empeorar Koko subió en el asiento delantero y se sentó su culo gordo en su regazo.

¿"K-kokoro?! No puedo ver el camino! "Comenzó a virar, golpeando coches de izquierda a derecha.

Kansas Chan didnt care. Ella toma su polla de sus pantalones, listo para montar el rito.

 **[...,..AND THATS WHAT YOU MISSED ON STRIPES IN THE CLUBXXX.]**

"c-cocoa roach?!" mitsuru screamered in fancy panic.

the Benadryl Classic 0090 was swerving south and north now since misucky couldn't see the road with kokoro's La grasa Mami tiddies in his face.

"get out the way FATASS! IM SRS!" mitsuru shouted in an effort to get her off him. with her on his lap, there was no way he could hide his 2 inch Double MacDouble in his plaid Gucci pants (those expensive outfits rich people wear but it's actually fugly) without her noticing!¡!

"hehehehe... but you're dickey day yes," the beautiful blonde winked at him with her horny MILF eyes. even the unborn fetus in her stomach was telling mitsuru to fuck her until she went into labor.

h-holy crap, he was sick wasn't he?

just when mitsuru thot it couldn't get worst, white milk started to gush from her Mommy tits and spray him clean in the eyeballs, makin mike blind both figuratively and literally.

"OOOOOUCH,! F*CK I CANT SEE!" mitsuru yelled. his car started to roll over some things on the road which could've been cones, a dead cat or somethin.

"watashi..,., あなたのコック。" said kokoko.

(i want..,., your cock.)

there was no denying it now. he was blinded by her titty milk which was likely a secret weapon of hers and mitsuru was shaking in raging horniness. he wuz ripe for the taking and wuldn't resist what came next.

"hehehe, i knew you'd come around," said ココロ.

 **UNZIIIIIP**.

the next thing mitsuru felt was the best thing he would feel in his short and pathetic virgin life. his meatstick was swallowed by her tight slippery love cave like futoshi having a romantic night with his favorite hotdog.

"oOoOoo mama~," mitsuru shuttered like he was having a seizure underneath her thiqqness.

 **SHLPASHLAPSHALP**.

that was the sound of koko riding him, making her body slam down on his pathetic puny body which was sure to leave red marks.

with each thunder-like hop, mitsuru could fel himself sinking deeper y deeper into the driver's seat.

ココロ's thicc thighs kept POUNDING and SHLAPING into ミツル's Weak KFC Chicken Thighs(TM). his thigh bones were beginning to c-c-c-CRACK!

"h-h-holy GUACAMOLÉ!" YEETED ミツル, turned on even tho the pregneent stripper was shlomping all over his weak bones. he could hear them breaking. weak strings of his micro cum were spewing out his tiny, tiny penis that didnt even go all the way up ココロ's thiqué, wet uterus (tongue emoji)

the vantablack ultra leather driver Seat of the bentley was COVERED in cum and was sh-sh-shaking under them.

 **RIIIIIIP**.

the leather was Completely destroyed from the intense Fuccing. ミツル was being hammered into the seat as hard as zorome beating his meat to mommy kink and granny kink porn.

but ミツル blushed bc it was kinda H-O-T still.

the steering wheel suddenly _SWERVED_ as ココロ's fat ass and baby-bearing hips slammed into it. the horn went off **BEEEEEEEEEP** and teh wheel died

""NANI" said ミツル but ココロ didnt realize a thing bc she was too busy moaning making an ahegao facE. ミツル couldnt see thru the windshield but he looked at the side mirror and—

 **あらいやだ！！！！！！** (OH NO!)

¡EL COCHE SE ENCUENTRA EN EL OTRO LADO DE LA CARRETERA!

"ココロ WE'RE ABOUT TO CRASH"

"it be like that sometimes" she said sexily fondling her own Nipples.

ミツル couldnt feel his dick but the way she said that AROUSED him and he was too distracted to try and save them. this was a good way to die.

 **'...seeyanara'** thought ミツル, closing his emo eyes as he awaited for Death to taake them both.

just then a bright Heavenly light shone down and a beautiful man decended from the cloudss. no it wasnt Jesus...

...it was MOTHMAN.

モスマン (Mosuman) held out his extremely muscular arms and stoopedd the car in its tracks. it didnt hit the other side of traffic but stayed on the median where the concrete had gotten smashed. he landed on the hood of the car with his saggy Ballsacks hanging out. his cock was a whole 12 inches of pure muscular Moth Papa Sausage.

ミツル and ココロ stared out the windows in disbelief.

"wao-woa, what a Daddy" drooled ココロ , getting off of ミツル's unimpressive dick and taking her thin bikini straps down so mosuman could see her big Mommy Tits.

"nani the fuck" moaned ミツル in horniness.

mothman had saved them! It was a christmas miracle

even though he nearly just died, mitsuru was still gushing like a hose. kokoro sat up, disconnecting her Naughty Part from his dangler rangler.

her boobs were out for モスマン (Mosuman) to see, not caring if she got arrested for public nudity.

"hey big パパ (PaPa)," kokoro wonked at him and bent over to give the 11-Foot-Insect-Godly-Man a good view of her titters. milk were leaking out from her hard nipples and spilling onto the hood of the car.

Mothman kept a stoic face however, his muscles flexing on his bodybuilder physique on their own whenever the breeze whispered its hot breath against him.

"You Are Absolutely Disgust," said Mosuman in a disgusting broken English, his tone hateful towards the human Mommy slut before him. little did he realize, that turned code 556 own.

"ここの私の仕事はされます。"

(my job here is done.)

that's what mothman said before his insect wings started to flap in the air and his feet lifted from the ground. as he flew up with great, inhuman-like speed; his 12-inch package slapped kokoro across the face which left a red, cock-shaped imprint into her white face cheek.

"mmmmmmmmmmmm," kkro moaned.

just as mothman was 5 feet into the sky, the smell of gas became STRONK.

then seconds later... **KA-BOOM!**

 **-silence.-**

 **"miSURU-KUN?!"** kokoro cried.

the car had exploded with mitsuru in it and kokoro still only 1 inch near the car, meaning she was in the blast too.

quickly, she was losing consciousness but she tried to keep focus on misery-kun. he was on FIRE. the whole car smelled like lava and flesh. kokoro felt liek someone put them inside an Easy Bake Oven set to 1800000.9 degrees.

"m-mi...chael..."

that was the last thing kokoro said before she lost consciousness.

 **(89 HOURS LATER)**

mitsuru woke up in the hospital wit a grown. "nnnnn~."

his head hurt and his body was itchy. it felt liek someone pelled the skin off of him and then attached it back on or something.

when he opened his Tsundere Green eyes, he realized he was hooked up to lift support with a clear gas mask.

 _beep... beeep... beeep._

"ouch," mitsuru groaned in pain.

a person who looked like a doctor walked in with a bag of Fritos in his hand, smacking on it loudly like he had no sense.

"oh, you up?" said the acclaimed doctor unprofessionally with an attitude.

""Yes... Whare am I?" asked Mike sickly.

"youre at Milisteeein Hospital."

"nani...? what happened to me?"

"Your car blew up and you and the passenger with you were burned to crisp like Hamburger during a BBQ." The doctor licked his lips. Fuck, he was **hungry**.

"N-NANI?! How am I still alive?!" mitsuru YELLED.

"You both were covered in a disgusting amount of cum from head to toe which protected you from the fire like a force field. You're very lucky to still have your skin."

'not too lucky. he rather be die,' the man thot to himself.

"however..." the doctor burped and continued to eat his doritos, cheesy orange shit all over his fingertips. he paused to lick up the cheese with a sickening loud slurps that reminded him of futoshi.

kámï-sama, he was disgusted.

the doctor's eyes finally lowered to mitsuru's legs and it was then when mitsuru realized he couldn't move them at all?!

"you're payalrzed from the waist down. permitly."

 **PERMITLY?**

"NANI?!" mitsuru SCRREECHED.

"oh, and you're also bald now."

the fire burned it all off. the unsightly amount of hair gel mitsuru used caused it to catch on fire quicker than anything else on his body. so now, he looked like a cancer patient or Pitbull the Spanish-American singer.

the doctor shrugged his shoulders and reached for another chip from his potato chip bag only to realize he was out.

he furrowed his brows, balled the the plastic bag out in frustration and threw it at mitsuru - little bits of potato chip getting all over his bald head like dandruff.

"anyway, it's ok. we can get you a wheelchair."

"t-thanks... you know, this is emotionally and mentally gonna take a lot for me to process—"

"well, i hope u can process $8.5 billion dollars for the wheelchair."

"h-huh? i mean– it's not like i can't afford it– i'm stinkin rich, but isn't that too much for a wheelchair?"

"don't complain, we're treatin u. if u have heath insurance, u should be fine."

"why isn't it free? i'm a patient..."

"that's just how it be sometimes."

"anyway, i'll get u some prescription for ur pain."

"ne... wait, ドクター (doctor)."

"what is it? i have stuff to do."

And by 'stuff to do', the Doctor meant log onto Twitter and fight with 12 year olds from Stan Twitter.

"the girl... did she make it?"

"oh, her? yeah. she's alive but she has no medical insurance so we rolled her bed out to the dumpster."

mitsuru cursed, "dammit."

no, he wasn't mad at the injustice the pregnant stripper was receiving. why the fuck couldn't she die? the sex was great and all, but she was kinda PSYCHO! with a capital Z.

"she's not in this room is she?"

"ella no es," the doctor shook his head no.

"thank god..." mitsuru let out a sigh of relief. "when can i leave, doctor?"

"today if you want. the sooner you leave, the quicker i can get home."

the doctor left and then returned strangely 8 hours later with his medication. It should've only taken him 5 minutes at most.

"i'm back," said the doctor boredly who tossed the bottle at mitsuru.

he couldn't catch it since he was too weak to move, so it hit him square in the forehead with a thunk.

misery (literally) winced.

"thanx... i can barely move though. can you help m—"

the door slammed shut before he could finish his sentence.

mitsuru rolled his eyes. It took him 8 minutes to sit up without wanting to cry like a Bitch Baby and bring the pills into his mouth. but then he noticed an oddly familiar flavor and it made him bite down into them for some reason.

"hey, these aren't meds. they're fuckin Mint Tic-Tacs!"

 **(THE DELIVERY ROOM, 9 HRS EARLIER)**

"...PUUUUSSH KOKOPUFFS!1!"

Zero 2 had went to the hospitl to stay by her friends side as she gave brith. friend was a strong word but 02 was feeling horny today what better way to relieve herself than watch thicccccqq kokoro (with five c's and two q's) give birth to her and futoshi's extra thicccccccqque Baby?

and anyway her darling was there to watch w/ her. what a romantic first date :)

apparently the horribl accident had stimulated kooko's labor even tho mysteriously she wasnt nine months pregnant yet. maybe mosuman's Super Moth Semen had made the baby grown full term when his HUGE COCK had slapped her. mmm yum~ uwu

"NNNYA~ 0 TWO-CHAN! " moaned kooooko , her face going red. 02 senpai was even holding her hand... u/u "it hurts, nya~"

Her Vagina Was Being Ripped Apart.

ココロちゃん held her fat breasts in her hands as she PUSHED for dear life. she felt shit comin out her tight asshole.

oh, the "DELIVERY ROOM" was actually the spot next to the hospital cafeteria dumpsters out back that the uneducated inexperiences doctors had rolled her to after she said she aint have no health insurances

"Wow i wonder how mitsur-chan is doing..." futoshi said as he ate from a bag of Doritos found in the dumpster. owo ... just the thought of mitsuru was making futoshi's heart go DOKI DOKI.

he was also listening to BTS's latest video on thru his shitty apple earbuds that only worked on one side (A/N a true story :'( leik if u cried) instead of watching the birth of his Child. kpop was more important anywayy. plus he was getting hot n bothered at the thought of MICHAEL KUN being so vulnerable inside the hosipital

goro and hiro waere just there for the show really. goro was barely alive but he got kicked out for having no health insurance either (not in this economy!).

zoroomes was playing the part of the doctor (realistic bc this is how dumb the doctors at Missileteinnnee Hospiatal were). Really he just wanted to see some of that sweet kokorO PUSSY!

"omg katherine i see the baby's ass! " saiddd zoromÉ whose ahoge was flicking like MAD. her stretched out puss was H-A-W-T. He had a fake doctor outfit on like that episode of drake and josh where drake jumped out a window bc he got caught impersonating a doctor "I CALLED CHIEF AND HE SAID THIS IS IT!"

by 'chief' he meant siri cause he had asked her to pull up a quick youtubb video on "How To Deliver A Baby Quickly [CHEAP] [EASY] [LIFE HACK] [GONE SEXUAL] [IN THE HOOD]"

kokoro started squirming and opening her legs even WIDER. "watash wa... can't do i-it..." suddenbly cockoro was breathing slowlrr and slower until her hEART WAS ONLY BEATING 5 BEATS EVERY 10 MIN!

 **"NURSE SHES NOT BREATHIBG"** SCREEMSED ZOROME TO ZERP tSU.

"i aint rhe nurse, dumbass"" said the cool stripper virgin killer which made Hiro's dick shoot up in his pants. Luckily it was too small to see. "But i'll handle this" 02 moved away from kokoro's side to her vagínä, pushing zorome out of the way. now he had another black eye.

she grabbed the conveniently placed defibrillator that had been thrown out for some reason and resuscitated KOKORO CHAN.

SHE CAME BACK TO LIFE AND SUDDENLY HER HEART WAS BEATING 16000 TIMES PER 25 SEc!

"wowie it's another Chwistmas miracle" said hiro quietly, turned on by How zero two was manhandling that defibrillator.

since kokoro didn't have Zero Two's hand to hold on, she grabbed Futoshi's McFatAss instead and **SQUEEZED** tight which gave futoshi an erection but really the erection was from the SPICY dance moves that Jimin and Jungkook were doing at this moment. "OooooOoOOO~p"

silence

the baby starting SCREAMING at the top of its lungs. it was a boy! he was Ginger with blue eyes (a weird ass combo if u ask me!") and looked like arnold from the magic school bus except not ugly.

Hero was crying but futoshi-kun just kept eating his snickers bar. thankfulky sjnce they werent in the hospital he wouldnt have to sign a birth sertificat and land 18 yrs of child support!

"congratz, its a dumbass" said zero tooth, holding the naked and dirty baby in her arms.

it was whaling LOUDLY which annoyed her and made her grimace. 'fuck... the things she did for her not-friend'.

'heres your little shit," zt said to kokorow, tossing the baby at her chest recklessly. luckily, the newborn's neck didnt snap.

kokoro

's eyes whaled up with fat tears (as fat as Kim Kardashian's plastic ass) because she was so emotional. the arnold slash ed sheernan looking baby was the most beautifulest thing she's ever sean.

"my bébé..." sniffed koko as she held her precious little Pillsbury dough. the baby was premature for obvious reasons, so it was the size of kokro;'s hand. but kokoro didnt care; it was el perfecto to her in her glossy Republican blue eyes.

"wow that was emotional" futoshi wiped a thicc tear (A/N: like himself hehe tongue emoji) as he looked at his phone.

you would think he was talking about the birth of his child but actually he meant the new BTS music vidoe he just finished.

with that ovrr, futoshi turned around to check up on the progress and was McShocked to see a baby in kkro's arms.

"holy F? where did that come from?!"

"it's our... no, i mean *my* baby!" kokor replied with attitude.

futoshi did nothing to contribute to her pregnancy and was not even supportife of her durin her chili birth. he was nothin but a dumb idol stan who only cared about his sh*tty idols!

"wow hes beutful like u kokoro-san... i... i think he has my hair and ur eyes, nê?!"

"well hopefully he didn't get your stupid :)))" said kokoro.

"can i go home now?" asked 002 boredly, snacking on a half eaten chocolate bar that she stole from a pile in the dump. the half eaten part was NOT from her.

"naught until we name the bebe" said kkrooro.

"OH!" SUDDENLY, zorome popped up from the ground like a zombie with two of his eyes completely bruised and uglily swollen in vantablack purple-durpleness like in cartoons such as Tom 'n Jerry.

"heh, now is my time to shine... kokroo-san, id be honored if u named him after the greatest person in this planet!" zoRUN said proudly, cheesy smile as his thumb ponted to hjmsef.

"Jungkook?" asked fatshi.

"Kanye West?" kokro said with a ;))) smile.

"wat? no, i meant m—"

but before zoorome could say anything more kokro made her final decision.

"that's it i'll name him Kanye South," kokoro said with a smileey on hr soft af face and held little Kanye South in her arms. (Hopefully better than the original)

futoshi shrugged his shoulders. "i still think jungkook jr. would've snapped..." he muttered.

"now i just need a brth sirtifacet," kokopuffs mentioned with a Soft AF smile still on her despite the horrible chidkbrth she just had. for sum reason, she was still gorgus.

"LUCKILY UNCLE ZOROME CaMe pRepRAED!"

zorome took out the folded printer paper he'd gotten from home out from the left pocket of his doctor coat bought specially from Party Town. then from the other pocket he tried to pull out his perment sharpie marker, but """"coincidentally"""" droppered an **XXXXXXXL** Trojan condom onto the ground.

"HolY FUCK! WHOOPS!" zorome said dramatically and bent down to pick it up, but somehow CLUMSILY turned the package over so the bold "XXXXXXXXL" was on the front for evrryone to see.

"Holy SHIT i'm SORRY! m-my butterfingers, HUH?! i'll just take my XXXXXXXXXL condom for my MASSIVE DICK BACK into my pocket!" zorome sed but raised it up and slowly showed it to every1's face individually before tucking it back into his doctor pocket.

"..." everyone said.

"there. now here's what i really wanted-" zorome took out the sharpie and handed it to koko.

he already drew out the certifiget for koko, but for the name Zorome had already filled it out as "Zorome The Great Jr." in bad kanji characters that didn't even read it that way.

He was kinda a dumbass and didn't pay attention in language cause it was too boring much to no body's surprise. anywai, kokoro crossed out 'zorome the great jr' with an unnerving ':)))' smile on her face the entire time.

the feelin of rejection made zorome weep internally and externally because his lip started to quiver despite his belief that he was doing well at hiding his Emoticons.

kokoro wrote 'kanye west' for the childs name, the DOB, guessed the pounds, and then included 'mitsuru jobs' as the father of the child.

"hey, wait a min..." futoshi said as he looked the certificate... he analyzed it closely...

kokro: ...

everyone: ...

"...you spelled south wrong!" futoshi finally said with a smile

on his face.

He was a f*ckin idiot.

"grATE! its over let's go hom darlin," said zero woo as she grabbed hiro by the front of his shirt and started to drag him off, licking her lips in horniness . . . . .

"h-Home? Whose home?" hiro asked nervously but the Virgin killer didnt answer him. she simply dragge dhim around the corner where the two disappeared, hiro sporting a Microscopic erection the entire thyme.

zorome grunbled in couldn't he get laid too?!

"UR NOT GOONG ANYWHERE SHITHEADS WAIT FOR ME!" yelled Orome who ran after the couple whose horniness was stinkin up the air worse than the dump that surrounded them.

footshee, kanee South, and kokoro were the only 1's left now.

"im so happy with my bb" kk stated as she huggled her little kawaii baby.

futoshi whom was feeling awks shuffled his feet. "errr... well i'm gonna see what those four are up to!–

 **[Narrator: He couldn't count.]**

"–annyeong kokro-chan! t-that's 'goodbye' in K-Pop..."

with that he dashed, his fat juggling side to side as he did so. kokro sighed as she was left alone with the child... this wasnt any didfrrent from when she was with futshi romantically.

at least Kanye South wll never betray her and Mitsuru was a rich and sexi Baby Daddy wit plenty of ca-ching to support her fam.

"my babi... u r my lyfe now," whisrped kokoro-san to kanye east.

"im still hear..." said gorrwo from the ground, now a quadrapalegic

Somewhere several feet away, mitsuru was screaming in terror right now and not because of his new Saitama (from One Punch Man) hairstyle.

AND THAT'S ALL ON THIS EPISODE OF DRAGON BALL Z

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: 사랑하는 팬인 CLUBXXX의 STRIPPERS 장을 읽어 주셔서 감사합니다. 미안하다,이 장은 약간 늦었다. 우리는 1 동안 많은 계획을 가지고 있습니다. :) TeamKokotwo에서 감사드립니다. 우리 모두 정말로 감사드립니다.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you so much for the favs and follows, and a special thanks to our wonderful reviewers! You all give us a lot of motivation to make each chapter even better than the last :) We hope you will enjoy the first part of our Halloween special :)

— Team KokoTwo

 **[LINE BREAK]**

zorome's fingers raced across the keyboard as he logged onto his 2011 version of MSN Messenger. His icon was a selfie of himself using a Snapchat filter to make him look **10X** hotter than he did in real life.

[japanesepapi666 has logged onto the group chat]

japanesepapi666: HEY GUYS GUESS WHO JSUT GOT US JOBS?

jesuslovesme016: ...?

MitsuruJobs: Oh, boy.

japanesepapi666: I JUST SIGNED US UP FOR THE EASIEST JOB OVER AND THEY'RE PAYING US 1K DOLLARS AN HOUR!

japanesepapi666: NO NEED TO THANK ME HAHA :cool-sunglasses-emoji:

jesuslovesme016: 1K?! excuse my potty mouth lord but that's [beepin] ridiculous.

MitsuruJobs: Where did you find this... "job"?

japnesepapi666: HIRO I KNO U LIKE TO KISS JESUS'S ASS ALL THE TIME BUT STFU DUDE SRSLY

japnesepapi666: WELL I WAS ON

jungkookscumslut: sorry guys i was streaming DNA :-)

jungkookscumslut: you got me a job too?

japanesepapi666: U GUYS CAN PRACTICALLY CALL ME GOD NOW I WAS ON AND I SAW AN AD THAT WAS HIRING GHOST HUNTERS FOR 1K

wheresmydarling: what category?

japanesepapi666: WHAT?

wheresmydarling: what kind of porn were you watching?

japanesepapi666: THATS NOT IMPORTANT

jesuslovesme016: z-z-zero two!

MitsuruJobs: We're typing online. It's not possible to stutter.

jesuslovesme016: (holy eff it's her o/o)

MitsuruJobs: And we can read your thoughts...

wheresmydarling: hey darling :winky-face: missed me?

jesuslovesme016: i sure have–

jesuslovesme16: i-i mean wow that's great zorome! but we have no experience with ghosts at all?

wheresmydarling: i'll do it if darling comes.

jesuslovesme16: huh..? do you mean... m-me?

MitsuruJobs: Who else would she be talking about? :eyeroll-smiley:

japanesepapi666: MILF PORN ROUGH HOT

jungkookscumslut:

MitsuruJobs:

wheresmydarling:

jesuslovesme016:

japanesepapi666: O FUCK

japanesepapi666: FORGET U READ THAT

jungkookscumslut: lol dude did u mean to type that into hentaihaven?

japanesepapi666: NO IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE'S MSG FUCK OFF

MitsuruJobs: I think you should reconsider signing up for this that ad.

japanesepapi666: TOO LATE I ALREADY GAVE THEM MY INFO BESIDES HUNTING GHOSTS WILL BE BADASS

MitsuruJobs: That's not my complaint. What did this info require exactly?

japanesepizza666: MY FULL NAME CREDIT CARD INFO AND STREET ADDRESS STOP BEING A WET TOWEL JUST BC UR RICH MITSURU

MitsuruJobs: :facepalm-smiley:

japanesepapi666: SO ARE WE IN?

jesusluvsme016: sure itll be my first job!

wharesmydarling: you already know my answer ;))

jesuslovesme016: _gulps VERY thickly_ i gotta go... Pray..

jesuslovesme016: send me the details later zorome

[jesuslovesme016 has logged out of the group chat]

wheresmyDARLING: :(

wheresmydarling: well this is boring goodbye sluts

[wheresmydarling has logged out of the group chat]

[wheresmydarling has changed her status to 'going dick hunting']

jungkookscumslut: i was streaming DNA for the second time :custom-jin-smiley:

jungkookscumslut: im in itll help me afford the VIP pass for the next BTS tour

japanesepapi666: COOL HOW ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE?

MitsuruJobs: Well, count me out. This is the most ridiculous thing I've read all day.

japanesepapi666: UR SO JELISH BC U GOT ALLLL THE MONEY YOU NEED

MitsuruJobs: It's spelled "jealous"...

japanesepapi666: SHIT THE FUCK UP

daddyslittleangel: hey guys :smiley-emoji: kanye south was crying but i just put him down for a nap. : 3

MitsuruJobs: Oh, fuck.

daddyslittleangel: hey micheal-kun : 3

MitsuruJobs: It's Mitsuru. Can't you read, blondie?

daddyslittleangel: hehe i was just teasing you marlow :smiley-emoji:

[MitsuruJobs has logged out of the group chat]

daddyslittleangel: oh noes :((

daddyslittleangel: that sounds like a good job opportunity it'll help me pay for kanye south's child support :))

daddyslittleangel: since his father is a fat bum who won't contribute a penny to his own child but will sell his house to meet a Korean

jungkookscumslut: [jungkook_on_a_leash . jpg]

jungkookscumslut: o... i guess this is sum awkward timing

daddyslittleangel:

daddyslittleangel: i have to go kanye south just woke up and i'll go tend to him like a real parent :))

[daddyslittleangel has left the group chat]

[daddyslittleangel has changed their status to 'being a REAL parent']

jungkookscumslut: im going to go stream fake love now

[jungkookscumslut has left the group chat]

[jungkookscumslut has changed their status to 'stream BTS (방탄소년단) 'FAKE LOVE' Official MV']

japanesepapi666: MILF 80 YEAR OLD WOMAN

japanesepapi666: FUC K

japanesepapi666: GOOD THING NO ONE IS ONLINE

[japanesepapi666 has logged out of the chat]

[japanesepapi666 has changed their status to 'fap till u sap then take a nap']

[XxBroLordMLG42069xX has logged onto the group chat]

XxBroLordMLG42069xX: ...I always miss everyone when they're online.

[XxBroLordMLG42069xX has left the group chat]

[XxBroLordMLG42069xX has changed their status to 'Watching SAO Season 10']

 **[LINE BREAK]**

after that mess of a conversation, Zorome had sent out another msg on WhatsApp later that nite telling everywun to meet at his place, since thats where the ghost Hunting bosses had said to meat him.

nuthing suspishious about it :)

for reasons unknown all of tehm had showed up, eben Kanye South ...

 **CAPTAIN'S LOG. 2100 HOURS. INSIDE.**

hiro wuz the last to arrieve since his möm wouldnt drive him and he was too much of a dumbass to pasz his driverz test even after 45 failed attempts .he had to walk the hole half a mile to get there... but it was worth it for that 1k$! maybe he would be able to afford the new season of _MILF Mansion_ on blue-ray deeveedee update his pixiv acc to premium so he could jerk off to even MORE hot porno

fimally, Hido nocked on the door to Zorome and Futoshii's sh*tty house they shared. it was in the Shady part of town and had the perfect alley for drug deals behind it... not like hiro would know! he's a child of God, after all.

futoshee only lived with zoorome bc zooroome couldnt support himself—all he did was jack off to grannies and yell at 12 y/o's on call of duty online multiplayer. フトシくん payed the rent with all the Mysterious cash he had like all idol stans do (A/N: teehee but thats a stroy for anuther tiem w)

zorome opened the door immediately and it swung outward, hitting Hiro square in the FACE! " **HELLO?** " He looked excited but then his fce fell when he looked down at hilo. "oh, it's u, hiro... ur not the ghost hunting bosses..." He stuffed his social security card back into his Ahegao print hoodie pocket.

zylofone walked back insid disapoonintedly nd didnt even help hirokun up. By now hiro had a gaint BUMP on his forehead

"dahling is thag u?' Said 02, who was in a smexi hot red Short dress. Hiro looked up at her BOOBIES and ewas entracnved by her s-e-x-y green eyes.

"zz-z-z-z-z-zero tow... ""

she held out a hand for him n him grabbed it foirmly. owo. her grip wwas so STRONK. he wanted her to manhandle him right hhthen and there in front of **EVERYONE**.

"y r u whearig that for ghost hunting anyway?" said zorome over his shoulder. he was still scrolling thru hentaihaven . com.

zero tsu SLAMMED the door shut making a crack in the wall. zorome shut the hell up and turned back to watch his milf yuri. zero top smirked and continued walking further into la casa.

"hey hiro :-)" fudoshi said (even tho u cant say emoji faces), and he waved at him. he wuz whereing a 'Property of Jungkook' shirt that had chocolate (hopefully!) stains on his belly.

mitzuru glared up at hiro from his diamond encrusted Ferrari wheelchair. sum lite shinned off his bald ass head and temporarily blinded Hido. "tch."

(Goro was still in the bathroom taking a Monster Shit. hiro could hear him moaning n strugglin. )

Hiro follwed ZT to the couch where he sat down then she sat down sexiky beside him... **woah!**

""darrerrrrling..." zero 2 lifted her toned stripper leg and put it on hiro's lap... she scooted her plump butt closer and turned his face toward her. "i wantzz... teh **fck** u—"

"—hi, hiro-kun :)" cut in kokoro also saying the emoji face nervously (she did not want to witness them having the S-E-X in the living roob, rite in fromt of her dear baby Kanyee South!)

In their horniness they hadnt even noticed kook facing the shitty 20in box tv and moving Zorome's Wii out of the way so she cud plug in a dvd playa. Kanye South was on the floor on his blankie and Succing on a pacifiyer. he had some big ass thicc eyebrows like futoshis and a creepy smile like cuckoro.

"Eveeyone, i brought my collection of Paranormal Activity for us to watch together while we weight!" Kokroo said, poppin in the DVD b4 any1 could tell her to turn that shitty movie OFF

"wow what a gud idea kokoro-chan!" Fuuuuuuutoshi siad, finishing off his fourth slice of burnt Toast and puttinf the rest of the loaf on a dollar store paper plate. ZOROME FOLLWED HIN TO THE COUCH ON THE OOPPOSITE SIDE OF HIROTWO.

"Are u sure we shuld be playin that in front of a bebé..." mumbled missouri in an Asshole tone... but mayhaps he was a little right for once. He rolled his wheelchair up to th couch ... right next to Hiro-chan! _ba-dump_ ... that was the sound of his kokoro going doki-doki! "anyway, zorome who is this guy thats cummin over?"

"OH, he only called himself 'PaPa' over Craigslist... Hiz email address was 'ApeFckerxX_69'.../ but he said he'll be heare soon and all he needs is my Social Security # to confirm everthing!"

"wow what a great deal, zorome! :) " Said futoshi in the softest most genuine tone... kokoro even gave zorome a thumbs up and laughed.

mitsuru just facepalmed. god... everyone here wuz a complete dumba$$...

"w-Well what do we have to do ?" asked hido, trying not to get turned on by 02 rubbing her tender Breasts against him lickin his cheeeek.

"Fufufufufu" zorome laughed "relax dude! All we finna do iz get sum real nice evidence of ghosts and or demons!"

"Gulp" said hiro instead of swallowing.

"Alright rhe movie's all set up :)))" Kansas pulled up her soccer mom jeans as she walked over tk Kanye South and picke dhim up. " ..." she whisperd as she shut the lites off and sat on mitsuru's bony Lap. he passed out instantly from the THICCness but its not like he liked her anymore anyways since she aint even preggo anymoar! He waz plannin on ghosting (no pun intended) her anyway..

the movie began to start but...

Suddenly there was a loud **BANG!** like a gunshot except not a gunshot... it wuz the front door bein KNOCKED ON!

zowome, Footoshi, Kenya Suth screamed rlly loud and high pitched like lil girls in an anime.

"Not Shady People, Open Up!" said a person behind the door in a deep robotic voice.

Zorome let out a LOOOOOOOONG _sigh_ of relief.

"whew thank god its no won shady!" hiro said with a ':)' on his face.

"IT MUST BE THE GHOST HUNTING BOSSES!" zowome yelled and hopped off the couch, running to get the door. when he opened it, there stood a Tall Giraffe Height man in all black clothes with black shades like he was apart of the mafia.

"Are You..." The man looked at his hand which had smudged sharpie writing on it. "...Zack?"

"HECK THATS CLOSE ENOUGH! ARE U THE GHOST HUNTIN BOSSES?!"zoromed exclaimed quite too enthustitically, making the McShady man's eardrums * pop *.

"Yes, But Before We Give You The Coordinates, We Must Verify Your Legitimacy With Your Social Secrity Number," said the Man, darting his eyeball pupils side to side to scan how many ppl were in the room.

Nobody noticed beneath his Spy shades.

"here u r dude!" zoroune slapped his SSC at the man's face with an excited grin on his face.

The shady man almost felt bad for the poor dumbass he was about to scam.

"Thank. We'll Keep This To Verify It. In The Meantime, Here's Your Location," the man tossed a GPS into zorune's face, as it landed into his right eyeball and gave him yet another black eyed pea that would take another 89 years to heal.

"AWW YEAH! who's ready to go ghost huntin?!" zorouen yeled as he turned around to his friends on the sofa.

Mirsuru couldn't believe his eyes. why couldn't the car accident take them away too?

"you are all absolutely stup*d," he scolded them.

"shut up, Pitbull!" yelped Zorome.

 _[An arrow blinked in and out as it pointed to mitsuru's bald head.]_

mosusu rolled his eyees at his dumbass friends.

just then, Goro exited the bathroom whistling and fanning the air. The air was green and filled up the entire living room like that episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Spongebob had bad breath and stunk up the entire movie theater.

"WHEW! do **NOT** go in there for awhile," said Goro with a bro smile as if it would help any of them get their scent that just died back due to the putrid smell.

It made all their noses curl except Zero tooth who was too busy focused on hrr own hornyness for hiro to care. she gotten even closer to hiro on the couch, completely breaking the "Leave space for Jesus" rule hiro explicitly followed!

(Not really because he was an incel as much as he was a christopher. he's never been close to anyone before until now!)

"MmmmmHmmm, i'mma be hunting for a different thing tonite, darrrrrlinh," said zero too with a winky face that made poor Hiro mega nervous for tonight.

more nervous than he was about the ghosts they would encounter tonight! **GULP.** what could zt be talkin about?!¿

Goro read the location on the GPS. "This is in a location i've never been before in Romania, but we can make it there in a nickel of time."

"weight. ur car won't fit us all," spoke Hero as the only other person with SUM smarts.

y hadn't they thought of that before?

"oh i have a friend who has a big pizza truck, i'll call her up, :))))" said kokorO, taking out her flip-phone to send her friend a text.

Kokoro couldn't get any bars here, so she stud up from the sofa and held her flip phone out of a window to get at least 2 and a half bars.

it was the best her flip flop phone could do.

Finully, she had enuf signal for the text to go thru. When Kokoro pulled back out of the window, she accidentally dropped her fone.

the battery popped out of her $20 LG B470 flipphone that she bought at WalMart and landed BAM on the cold concrête floor of the crackhouse living room. "Oops haha my butterfingers :-)))"

The word 'Butterfinger' made Futoshi drool for a sec and distracted him from the Baby Kanye South he was actually holdinf in his arms for once. This Would Be The One And Only Time. Zorrrrrrome was sexily feeding Futoshii his toast and holding up his phone streaming BTS's Idol MV to lessen the pain of taking care of his only son.

Misturu looked at the battery that had just FLIPPED OUT and watched as KoKoRo slipped it back into the cheap ass phone. "this is the most ghetto sh*t i've ever—"

"—we should leave b4 it gets to dark" said hiro sensibly, his mini Lightning Rod being stroked by Zero To. mitsuru didnt glare at him for interrupting bc... that was his SENPAI! "do we even have the equipmentt to ghosthunt?"

The shady, tall Slenderman cut in before any1 could say any thing, "We Have Provided The Camcorders For Your Use." He held out a Stinky black garbage bag which Zorome took enthusiastically as he jumped up.

RIP futoshi's Toast :((((

thankfully his telefono didnt die bc it was a Nokia(tm) :))))

"AWESOME ! I PREPARED FOR THIS N ERRYTHIBG!" Zorome pumped his fists in the air like he had just won another round of Fortnite on the Oceania server. he stuck his hand in his pants and pulled out a Spooky Spirit Box from his crotch "we'll use this to communication with the Ghosties! (Tongue emoji)""

"how amazing :))" said kOkoro softly and dumbly. Kanye southh was beginning to SUCC on her big mommy breasts for that delish Mommy milk. "We'll make that child support $$$ in no time, right, futoshikun..." her glare was Creepy and Scary. futoshi started SWEATING and turned up the volume on BTS.

"So kokro whens ur friend getting here" said 02 half paying attention to these dumbasses. she was unzipping hido's pants licking her lips hornily. hiro's good Chrysler body was abouT to be violated yet again!

" is she hawt?" Asked Zorome.

"Oh soon (creepy smile emoji)" kokoro said (fake)sweetly back, not paying attention to zorom At All.

The Shady man meenwhile was looking thru zorome's things but nobody paid attension to it. Zorome was too busy reading weird fetish manga on his Windows 98 computer after all. Goro almost said something but realized he didnt owe sorome SHIT.

Hilo was looking thru the bag... it was filled with Old Ass dusty cameras: Panasonic VHS-C brands. "Oh theyre vintage :)" said hiro not thinking it was shady at all. Zerp Two was fondling his Balls and kissing him all over, how was he even spposed to be rational anyway?

"やれやれだぜ (yare yare daze)" said Mitsurū plagiarizing Jotaro Kujo's classic line from the hit anime _JoJo's Bizarre Adventure_. Mitsuru Jobs really was a Sell-Out /

"—EH i smell pizza!" Futoshi suddenly said while drooling hungrily even tho he just ate a loaf of bread. he had gone thru all the BTS songs so now he was Extra Board. he sniffled teh air.

There was another knock on the door!

"thats her!" said koorkko dumbly again in her dumb Blonde way. she skipped to the door while putting Kanye South into mitsuru's soggy lap where he had pissed himself earlier in the night.

Krokoro's breasts swung side to side as she reached the door, swinging it open for reveal a short girl with ginger pigtails and an impatient look on her face. in her hand, she held a pineapple pizza topped with gummy lifesavers and chocolate kisses much to her distaste.

whom the fuck ordered something like this?

fujoshi hid his phone into his back pocket, having closed out the tab to the pizza tracker on Bomino's that he refreshed about 1,800 times the whole time he weighted.

"hey mickey," said kokoro with a smile emoji on her face.

"oh great my pizza is here," futoshi came over and took the greasy pizza box from Miku's hands nochalntly.

he didn't even pay b4 he turned around and walked into the kitchen (something that reminded kokoro of his deadbeatness) to eat the entire box of pizza himself.

"wtf u better pay me kokoro," said Miku with a glare and hands on her flatboard hips with attitude.

kokoro didn't have any money. she spent her last $10.00 in her su account on getting kanye south a cute, red "Make America Great Again" onesie Despite not living in the unit States.

"wait right here :))" said kokoro as she walked to Misuruu-kun who was knocked out and had the smell of peepee emanating from him.

she knew he always had loads of cash on him bc he liked to show off his ca-ching, so kokoro dug into his pee-drenched pocket and took out $$$80000000000.99 dollars.

"tis should be enuff to cover tonight, right?" kokro handed the ca-ching to an eager Miku who hurriedly pushed the wads of cash into her pocket before Kokoro could ask for it back.

This was more than what Papa Jirö would pay her to deliver awfully-made pizza to shady neighbrhoods. one time they handed her a pizza that still had cockroaches crawling all inside the box. Mickey shivered from the thot.

"kay u have ur pizza i'm out this bitch" said miku but then kokoro grabbed her by her shoulder.

When Mikkey turned around to look at her friend, she saw the most life-threatening yandere look in Kokor's eyes that made her **GULP**. holy f, she hated it when Kokoro went a little psycho. Mayhaps her friend needed therapy?

...Lots of it.

"i need u to do me a favor," whispered kokoro :))).

 **[FREEZE FRAME. FAST FORWARD. PAUSE.]**

 _Miku Narration: Yup, and that's how I ended up in my pizza truck, on the way to a haunted abandoned building during my night shift, carrying a bunch of losers when I could be at hom watching The Bachelor._

fuck, she really wanted to see who ryusuké would send home tonight! But instead, she was stuck with these weirdos. who even signed up for a job offer they saw on a hentai site?

Miku took one hand off the wheel and grabbed a broom that was in the backseat of her brown, rusted and worn down Pick-Up Truck since her workplace was very cheap. sometimes it broke down in the middle of a dleivry and it often smoked from the back. big siiigh.

she used the end of the broom to beat on the roof of her raggedy, poor person truck. everyone inside cold hear Zero Twu riding Hero harshly on the roof of the vehicle, accompanied by wet shlaps and moans that belonged to Hero but sounded like a Cat was dying on her rooftop.

"SIT STILL UP THERE!" miku yelled as she banged her broom on the roof, grumbling when the bangs up there became even LOUDER as if to provoke her.

now it sunded like someone was beating on it with a hammer. miku rolled her eyes and tossed the broom back into the backseat, the tip of the Broom hitting Goro clean in the left eye.

"YEEEEOAI!" yelped Goro who dropped the 1989 Panasonic VHS camcorder he was trying to figure out.

"what u lookin at?" miku said to zurume who was in the passengers seat, looking at her with a clear election in his pants. Zorome could only think about how hot Miku looked when she was anger.

'would she let him cal her Mommy?' zorome wondrrd to himself.

"N-NOTHING! it's just COOL how you drive this car. it looks just like you."

this made a vein animation appear on Miku's head when an anime character was angry, so she used one hand to stir the wheel up the dark hill and another to choke the life out of Zorome.

Little did she know this made zorome immediately cream his pants. HOWEVER, el truck was beginning to swerve weast to sorth now which made everyone in the backseat fall over.

somehow zero two never toppled over and continued to ride Hero harshly.

"YAABA... DABBA... DOOOO!" Hiro yelled into the night, on his 800th orgasm for the night.

 **[LINE BREAK]**

 **LOCATION: ABANDONED ISYLUM.** **ROMANIA.** **08010 HOURS LATER.**

"woahw dis place is a McDump..." zoro kicked a empty bottle of Edgy Black And Blu Monster energy Drink that was crushed on the ground.

"it still luks cleaner then ur house..." mumbled mitsuru edgily with edge. he peed even moar.

The gaint (White)Castle had crumblin bricks cumming off of it and bird sh*t all over the stome walls. a bucnch of crows were crowded around the place too and there were a bunch od Christopher Crosses...,...

anyway the Gang stepped out of the mystery machine(tm) and luuked up at the Dark Edgy Gothic castle (isylum) they woukd be investigating.

" **STAY BACK EVERYYONE"** yelled zoomers, holding up a """"ouija board"""". air quotes because it was just the lid of the pizza box from earlier with hastily drawn oujia board letters and numbers on it curtesy of futoshi and zorome. some of the R's and S's were spelled backward and SEVERAL letters were crossed out in cheap ass sharpie marker zoromn kinds be dumb : / )

zero 2 rolled her beautiful sexy cute eyes at him befour pushing him out the way and walking uo the creaky old stairs to La Puerta .

"woah zero Two!" Said Hiro with his voice crackin. she was so brave! but this seemed like a Bad IdeA. "Dont rush into things! What if theyres rlly smthng bad behind ther?"

the vurhgun killla turned to look at her dear darling over. Hher shoulder, we well as everyone else who looked like they were gonna PISS themselve. "—you guys r just pussies" Zorome MCGASPED at the accusation of him not having any masculinity ( **narrator:** he didnt have any). but 02 winked at hiro and he got a boner, she said "but i love jt when **u** act so scared, _darllling_..."

Hiro Shit Himself And Cummed At The Same Time.

ohTwo kicked el door and it BROKE down with 1 hit. sexy. a bunch of spiders and bats flew out from insid.

"Oh my goshh" yelled koko, squeezing Kanye EastSurth against her chest making him BITE on her nips (but it turned her on :blushingface: ) tbh ZeroTwo was turing her on too... "its so dark ñe~~"

the otbers all followed her inside, hiding behind the shitty oujia board. goro was throwing salt all over the place and Futtoshi was holding a brightly lit Britney Spears Prayer Candle he ordered from ($15... he was El Scammed but it was worth it for britney!).

Hiro stepped on sum floorboards and they ~ **CREAKED** ~ loudly, making hero screm jump every time.

"wow this place is a dump" said o-two, scanning the abandoned islyum boredly.

indeed There was dust everywhere because the place hadnt been cleaned in over a decade, Maybe more.

"i can't believe u bakaas dragged me here," said Pitbull-kun—- gomenasai, i mean— said _Mitsuru_ -kun, wheeling himself inside the dusty place that was making his sinus act up alrady. there was a weird bump as he rolled in from underneath.

he was certain he just ran over a dead rat, or somethin.

"whale? let's get this thing started," misuuru spoke, folding his arms across his chest grouchily.

"O-Oh, yeah! It's not like i'm afraid of ghosts or anythin PFFFT!" zoomies said, but irl his hands were shaking as he placed his makeshift Weejee board down on the center of the dusty floor.

"bring me Britney Spears," he ordered Fotshi who complied and placed the Holy Britney Christ candle beside the sharpie-drawn ouioui board.

zorome let out a **SHAKY** brath... "and the cup."

"WTF?! you can't use a kitchen cup for a oujiajs broad?" comaplined Miku, but Nobody was listening to her. She's been complaining ever since she delivered the ' _Diabetes Deluxe_ ' futoshi swallowed hole earlier.

"O-O-OOKAY EVERY1 S-SIT DOWN" instructed zorome, his hand tremblin,.

"ano...should someone else do i—"

"I'M A MAN!" scramed zorome, "i CAN DO THIS!"

zerttwo let out a sigh. thisbwas gonna be a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong night.

"everyone put ur hands on The Cup."

the Ghost Hunters all joined their hands at the center of the glass cup that had a photo of a Hentai Anime girl on it. Nobody questioned why.

"do you know how to do this, zoomies?" asked hiro

"COURSE I DO! I WATCHED YOUTUBE TUTORIALS NO FUCK OFF, INCEL!"

"ouch," said Hiro.

"r u okk, darin?" asked zt.

hiro loked down at the ground a little sadly, his hand making an upside-down 'ok' sign, "That Shit hurted."

"ur not an incel to me, darlin-cakes," zero twosu purred and huggled up to Hiro, rubbing her horny body against his.

While Those Two were seconds away from making luv on the floor again, everyone else was shaking in their socks over what they wud summon tonite.

"hey, ya demons... i-it's me ya boy... i-if theres anyone here with us right now... Hit futoshi in the head," spoke zorome shakily.

 **-silence.-**

"hey ghost-sama do you listen to Kpop?" ssked futoshi derpily with a cute innocent smile on his face.

 **-more silence.-**

"I Knew This Was A Waste Of Ti–" BEFORE mitchel could finish his sentence, his wheelchair was suddenly wheeled backwards in **0.007** seconds at **18988939390** SPEED?! by the **AIR**?!

"NANI?" everyone thought in unsion except hurotwo.

Hiro and zero two were making out on the floor, but the sudden noise made hiro break apart from her much to zt's distaste. She wanted that dick.

"W-What happened?!" hiro yelled.

"m-mike... He's gone. somethin wheeled him thru the doors," whimpered kokoro.

Indeed he was gone. nobody wanted to get up and check on Mitsuru because they were too afraid to even move, but also they sorta didn't care. He was a prick.

"FCK THERE RLY ARE GHOSTS HERE THEN!" zorome yelped, his pants now drenched in wetness since he literally peed himself.

ZerooTwo was annoyed because the ghost had clitblocked by her.

she stood up.

"okay you little shit show yourself!" she shouted.

"s-stop it z-zero two," said Futoshhi nervously, clutching onto Britney Spears for deer life. he was nerves

"demons...:ghosts...I've killed 89 people before—"

"She what?" interjected Goro.

"–and i'm not afraid to take it up with a ghhost," zt finished.

Hiro was turned on, imaging getting to be underneath the blade of zero two's weapon or gun. It made him cream his pants again.

"srsly zero two cut it o– wOoOoaHH!" before zorome could finish, the cup started moving... **OWN ITS OWN?!**

"zooeom stop messin around it's not funny" frowned futoshi.

"i-i SWEAR ITS THE THING NOT ME!"

The cup dragged zoro's head to the letter U. Then, G, and then...

 **"U-...G-...-L...-Y... R-...A-...-T?"**

"...what does this mean?" ask furoshi, tilting his head to teh side.

meanwhile, zorome **GULPED**. the ghost was bad mouthin ZERO TWO!

"ok step up bitch! STEP, THE FUCK UP U DEAD DISEASED CORPSE!" yelled Ero two to absolutely nothing.

Hiro couldn't decide whether to stop his Not-GF, or Fap to her. so, he put his hand down his trousers and decided to do both.

"z-zero two clam down!" he said as * _fapfapfap_ * sounds came from his baggy dudebro sweatpants.

" **NO**. darlin she insulted me! ill make it regrat that.

"THE CUP IS MOVING AGAIN!" yelled sorome.

This time it spelledt **"I W-A-N-T H-I-R-O".**

"Wait... what?" s-said hero n-nervously.

the next thing they all knew, HERO was SUCKED into a diff room!

"DARLING!?" SCREAMED ZERO TWO who took off her 19 inch Stilletos to chase after her dick.

everyone followed with Goro in front with his shitty Parasonimic camera. He was getting this all on tape.

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHGGGGGGGHH**!" yelled hiro from a totally different room.

" **DARIN!"** yelled zorome two.

"t-this is not going according to keikaku!" panted Zorome who couldnt keep up cus he didn't exercise his weak body. futoshi's Fat self was also struggling to keep up. Mayhaps he shuldnt have had that Pizza!

"DarlING IM COMING JUST WAIT!"

the former stripper had a good nose so she was able to sniff him out and entered the islyum's Torture Room with everyone running behidnh her. When she ran inside, she saw the ugliest Nun ever holding her darling!

her skin was white like she had rolled around in baking flour, she had dark black spots around her Eyes like she was severely insomoc, demon-like claws and piercing gold eyes.

"El...McNUN?!" screamerred zorome like a lil girl.

 **El McNùn** had her 10-inch black demon claws wrapped around hiro's throat whom was being straddled in a chair by the Nun. The nun rubbed her crotch against hiro's who had tears in his eyeballs,

This demon was thirsty.

"GET UR DIRTY HANDS OFF MY DAWIN!" zero two growled!

 _('NOBODY WAS GETTING THAT DICK BEFORE SHE DID TONIGHT!')_

"wait!" said zorome, pullin out a Nerf Gun out of his back pocket. It was sink water with """"Holy Salt""""" that he sprinkled into it. Papa sold it to him.

"i have holy water, i'll save hiro!" zorome said before he squirted the holy water spray gun. "don't try DEMON!"

 _sqqqquirt*_

The water only moved 2 centimeters.

"g-god damm–"

The Nunturned to the la intrudersand **SCREAMED at them, showing off her Pennywise-like shark teeth to the group. ...or what used to be the group since everyone ran off in fear except zero two and kokoro who was secretly taking down notes in her head so she could use El McNun's moves on mitsuru.**

hopefully he still alive.

the nun made the portraits and chairs in the room move around like a _tornado_ but Zero Two was unfazed. she easily dodged the chair that came flying to her head like the Sexy, Dangerous Goddess she was (Yum.)

Hiro gulped; afraid but also still horny. The Nun's fat and corpse-y pussy lips sitting on his crotch was making all his waste squish around in his boxers. he needed RELEASE!

but first he needed to survive this!

"its you vs me now bitch," spat zero two whose eyes were glowing LAVA RED now.

Zero Two lunged at the Nun at the same time as the ghost-demon did, both of them letting out a deep and deathly **ROAR**.

 **...TO BE CONTINUED.** **「つづく」**


	7. ÉL MCNUN VS ZERO TWO FULL FIGHT HD

**LAST TIME ON STRUGGLERS IN THE CLUBXXX:**

 _"DarlING IM COMING JUST WAIT!"_

 _the former stripper had a good nose so she was able to sniff him out and entered the islyum's Torture Room with everyone running behidnh_ _her. When she ran inside, she saw the ugliest Nun ever holding her darling!_

 _her skin was white like she had rolled around in baking flour, she had dark black spots around her Eyes like she was severely insomoc, demon-like claws and piercing gold eyes._

 _"El... McNUN?!" screamerred zorome like a lil girl._

 _ **El McNùn** had her 10-inch black demon claws wrapped around hiro's throat whom was being straddled in a chair by the Nun. The nun rubbed her crotch against hiro's who had tears in his eyeballs,_

 _This demon was thirsty._

 _"GET UR DIRTY HANDS OFF MY DAWIN!" zero two growled!_

 _('NOBODY WAS GETTING THAT DICK BEFORE SHE DID TONIGHT!')_

 _"wait!" said zorome, pullin out a Nerf Gun out of his back pocket. It was sink water with """"Holy Salt""""" that he sprinkled into it. Papa sold it to him._

 _"i have holy water, i'll save hiro!" zorome said before he squirted the holy water spray gun. "don't try DEMON!"_

 _sqqqquirt*_

 _The water only moved 2 centimeters._

 _"g-god damm–"_

 _The Nunturned to the la intrudersand **SCREAMED at them, showing off her Pennywise-like shark teeth to the group. ...or what used to be the group since everyone ran off in fear except zero two and kokoro who was secretly taking down notes in her head so she could use El McNun's moves on mitsuru.**_

 _hopefully he still alive._

 _the nun made the portraits and chairs in the room_ _move around like a tornado but Zero Two was unfazed. she easily dodged the chair that came flying to her head like the Sexy, Dangerous Goddess she was (Yum.)_

 _Hiro gulped; afraid but also still horny. The Nun's fat and corpse-y pussy lips sitting on his crotch was making all his waste squish around in his boxers. he needed RELEASE!_

 _but first he needed to survive this!_

 _"its you vs me now bitch," spat zero two whose eyes were glowing LAVA RED now._

 _Zero Two lunged at the Nun at the same time as the ghost-demon did, both of them letting out a deep and deathly **ROAR**._

* * *

 _[static break]_

Ryan: Today on buzzfeed unsolved was explore **the Case of Romania's El Nun** where it's said to islyum is said to be haunted by the nun from the 69th century.

Shane: 69? What was it a... * _chuckles_ * half-islyum, half-brothel?

Ryan: * _wheeze_ * i-iie, ('No', in japanese because Ryan is Asian) it's just a regular islyum.

anyway El Nûn was said to have died from a broken heart.

Shane: _El_ Nun? so so she was Spanish, or something?

ryan: No, she was Jap. It's just...

Shane: El...

ryan and shane: _looks at each other_

silence*

Ryan: anyway it's said that she fell in love with a man named Hilo but he broke her hart by marrying another woman and she murdered Hilo and the women, then proceeded to kill herself.

Shane: i-...i thought she died from a broken hurt?

Ryan: yea, her heart was so broken she committed felony and committed sonic.

Shane: oh, that's... A shame.

shane: **F.**

Ryan: F.

Shane: maybe if she got dicked down she would've—

ryan: _WHEEZE_.

shane; don't intereupt me

shane: maybe * _laughing_ * she would've chilled the heck out and got, u know, not stabby-stabby.

Ryan: STABBY STABBY.

ryan: * **STILL LAUGHING** *

[the ep moves on]

ryan: So, a group of el stupido teens went into the abanonded islyum - someone beat us to there, shane.

Shane: not like there's anything to see in the first place. * takes a sip of his shitty tea*

shane: so what happened there?

ryan: well...

 **[RESUME.]**

 **EL** **MCNÚN VS ZERO TWO**

as El Nun and Zero Two went at it, kokoro pulled out her flip-flop and started to record the **intense** battle. Godzilla sounds played in the background as zero tomb leapt onto the nun demon.

however, El nun opened its ugly mouth and let out a powerful yell that sent zero two flying back until she crashed into a wall. kokorroo was also thrown back by the powerful wind, the battery poppin out of her ATT (awful company by the way) and shatterin into little pieces against the wall beside zero two.

"oh noes :((" frowned kokoro. That was her whole celery for the month.

"guh!" Zero Two spat up some blood, or what looked like blood because it was actually the hot sauce she had with her crispy Taco Bell before she came here.

her hed was dizzy, but zero two climbed out of the wall unscathed. Kokoro held Kanye South close to her big Mamma bosom who star

t to latch onto her nipple.

"owwe," said kokoro. "dont hurt mama

Zero Two's finger nails grew 8 feet tall and her i's continued to glow vantared in rage like the Hulk (but sexier). her teeth slowly turned into vampire-like fangs.

"ganbatté, zero tsu!" cheered kokoroko as candy south suckled the fresh dairy milk out of her nipple. It made Kokoro _moooooan_.

 **(WHEEZE)**

zero two **pause. '** what was that?'

 **(THIS IS A FUCKIN PORNO!)**

it was a... white man's voice.

 **(SHUT UP SHANE.)**

 **(NO YOU, RYAN.)**

'eh?' said kokoro who also noticed the voices that came out of nowhare.

while zero TWOOOOOOOOOO was distracted the NUN went thru her which made zero tu-tu- _ruuuuu_ (mayuri voice) get knocked down by not from the weight but the STENCH the NUN had on her.

she smelled like a corpse covered in feces like the mysterious Goo from Futoshi's Nasty Patty back in chapter 4.

'e-EHHHH?" kokoro said

"Zero two quickly shook her head and stood back up looking around. "WHERE THAT D*CK STILLING HOE GO?!"

kokoro shrugged her shoulders

The Nun was... **gone?!**

 **zero two didn't care an dknew she had limited time so she ran to hiro to untie him from the chair. (Kinky)**

 **"Hah... hah..." hiro said.**

 **"Don't worry, darling. I've got you!" zero two cried. "you look so tired and flushed! did that Nun fuck you?"**

 **Hiro was embarrassed. He didn't want to admit that he had been fapping the entire time his Not Girlfriend and that Ugly Demon was fighting because it was like rummaging through the Lesbian category on FranXXXHub dot com**

 **so he lie.**

 **"N-No, said Hiro. I was just holding in a fart and i finally got it out." he Smiled.**

 **"Oh, darling. Don't talk kinky to me~" zero two giggled, feeling herself getting damp in her Lace Red Vanjí-chan's Secret** **G-Sting already.**

 ***SNAP SNAP.***

 *** bones crackin ***

"s-s-somethin's wrong with Kanye South!" kokoro CRIED.

Zero Two ignored her and got on top of Hiro, tying the ropes back on him.

"Z-Zero two?" hiro said nervously. Zero Two was getting undressed with a horny look in her eyes. _wiiiiink_.

"ZERO TWO-ChaN! HIRO-KUN! KANYE SOUTH IS ACTING WEIRD?!"

Zero Two looked to the side with a deadpan annoyed look, already butt naked with her plump peach ass and Sexy Anime Titties out. In between her legs, she was flowing with a water-like substance but it **wasn't** water. (hiro would soon find that out!)

"holy crap..." zero two said.

Kanye South's legs and arms were stretching out and snapping as they did so like in Annabelle in Annabelle: The Cre*tion. (censored for copywrite, sorry i don't wanna get sued). * snap , SNAP.* the baby was now at least 5 foot tall with his head on backwards. His eyes were pure Vantablack and he smiled eerily at them like The Joker or Babadook (2 stars on Rotten Tomato.)

Hiro wasn't paying attention to the demonic activity happening because he was too horny and hard for Zero Two. He was only thinking about how he wanted to eat out her Puss.

" **I. Want. Him**." Possessed kanye south said.

"your papa?" ask kokoro.

" **NO!" kanye south ROARED and knocked kokoro back, sending her thru the windshield. *SMASH***

 **(glass shatterin)**

"Oof. She's dead," said Zero Two. "well i can't have anyone interrupting my dick time so i guess i gotta fight you now."

 **Futoshi entered the room.**

"Hey, sorry I ran out. That was wrong of watashi, so I came back—"

he saw zero two naked and took a thick GULP.

"y-y-you're..."

he then saw Kanye South possessed and let out ANOTHER gulp.

"kanye is a-a-a-"

"wow kanye already became 21 and zero two is butt naked! happy birthday to both of us let's pour some fuckin shots!" exclaimed Zorome who suddenly joined futoshi's side, starting to pull out more glass cups with questionable 2D girls on them.

One had a photo of the sexy red headed bitch from Guren Lasagana, satskui from K*ll La Ki"ll, Rikka's from Too-Many-S's-Gridman but it wasn't her full body just a close-up of her Thighs, and one of Zero Two in a skimpy rojo bikini.

"Wait is that me?" asked zero two.

Zorome blushed. "N-NO! SHE JSUT LOOKS LIKE YOU!"

"that looks a lot like my bikini from the Beach episode–"

 **"SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP."**

"holy balls! Who taught Kanye that motherfuckin bad language! What a damn shame on Kokoro and Mitsuru!" yelled zorome.

Futoshi and Zero Two looked at him with a deadpan look like he was an idiot.

"Baka. He's a demon. he got possessed by that skank," said Ero two.

"holy... Well that's not good." said

Zorome.

"DUDE GET THE HOLY BLOOD!"

Zero Two rose her brow.

"OH RIGHT!"

"wat's the holy blood?"

Zorome rummaged thru her backpack, taking out a few stacks of Doujinshi with MILFs wrapped in tentacles on it. He also took out a few condoms and Cheetos our before he got to the small bottle of """""Holy Blood"""""" he bought off Craigslist.

"W3RN13RFR4NXX on craigslist sold this to me! if we make Kanye drink this he'll go back to normal!" said Code 666.

"wait where's krokoro?" asked futoshi in a question mark voice.

"not important let's get this demon so i can get this dick" said zero Twi.

 **"THAT. WONT. WORK. ON. ME. PEASANTS." said Kanye South demonically.**

zero two rolled her eyes. "Yeah whatever! zorome. futoshi. Hold her down!"

"are u crazy BITCH?! I AINT TOUCHING THAT!"

"y-y-yeah kanye will definitely kill me for being a. deadbeat papa," said futoshi shivering .

zero two rolled her eyes AGAIN. Fuck, she'll do everything herself then!

"then sit back and watch."

Zero Two held the bottle in her head tightly. Inside was supposedly the blood of the Klaxosaur Princess from Klaxo Wars (an iconic movie) but zero two didn't know that. neither did Zorome know that he was actually just sold a bottle of Red Chilï Hot Sauce.

Hiro watched in heat.

Futoshi and Zorome were SHAKING as they peed their pants.

"let's get this bread," said zero two.

 _I don't wanna waste no time, yuh_

 _You ain't got a one-track mind, yuh_

 _Have it any way you like, yuh_

 _And I can tell that you know I know how I want it_

 _Ain't nobody else can relate_

 _Boy, I like that you ain't afraid_

 _Baby, lay me down and let's pray_

 _I'm tellin' you the way I like it, how I want it_

Kanye roared. last time it knocked Zero Out but this this she wasn't fazed. She ran up to Kanye with a ready look, bare boobs flying, and drop-kicked her in the face like Cardi B did to Nicki Minaj.

"OOF!" said kanye as he fell back down, heel in crushing into his eyeball.

 _And I can be all the things you told me not to be (Yuh)_

 _When you try to come for me, I keep on flourishing (Yuh)_

 _And he see the universe when I'm in company_

 _It's all in me_

"say 'ahhh', "darlin"."

Zero Two unscrewed the bottle and tilted it open, dripping the """"Klaxo Princess holy blood"""" intoher mouth.

 _You, you love it how I move you_

 _You love it how I touch you_

 _My one, when all is said and done_

 _You'll believe **God is a woman**_

 _And I, I feel it after midnight_

 _A feelin' that you can't fight_

 _My one, it lingers when we're done_

 _You'll believe **God is a woman**_

Kanye SHRILLED. Zero two smirked.

"the holy blood is working!" said futoshi and zorome unsionly.

This blood actually wouldn't have worked if Kanye South wasn't allergic to hot sauce. This caused El Nun to well up tears in his pure black eyes, causing his eyes to go back to normal and for his limbs to slowly grow back into a bebe.

Kanye was Kanye again and El Nun left his body. And Hiro and friends for good. Futoshi wiped off a sweat bead despite the fact that he hadn't contributed to the fight at all.

 _It lingers when we're done_

 _You'll believe **God is a woman**_

("God Is a Woman" is a song by American singer . It was released on July 13, 2018, as the second single from Grande's fourth studio album (2018). The song was written by Grande, , , Rickard Göransson and its producer . Sweetener is the fourth studio album by American singer Ariana Grande. It was released on August 17, 2018, through Republic Records. The album is the follow-up to her 2016 studio album, Dangerous Woman, and features guest appearances from Pharrell Williams, Nicki Minaj and Missy Elliott. Stream 'Sweetener' and 'God Is A Woman' today.)

kokroo stumbler back into the room, blood gushing from her head liek a Fruit Gusher and a tooth missing from her front tooth. Her eye was also black and she had a red mark on her face from where El Kanye Nun South had smacked her.

"my baby... is back to normal! " kokoro cries and took kanye south into her arms, huggling her. Kanye cooedthis time and not demonic liek luckily.

Hiro had came again from the battle.

Zoey returned to Hero with a smirk on her face. "no where were we."

outside there was a lot SHAKE. Japan was **SHAKING**!

"n-nani?!" yelled Zorome.

There was a huge furry leg outside the window. everyone felt a shiver go down their spine except Hirotwo who were already fucking and wasn't paying attention to shit.

The brown-colored furry leg went out of view as the leg it belonged to leaned down, a huge Eyeball taking up the window.

" **B-BIGGUFUTTO?!** " yelped futoshi.

* * *

Shane: that sounded like a bad fanfic.

Ryan: i mean... yeah, it's hard to believe any of that really happened. I mean 'holy blood' from the princess from _Klaxo Wars_? and then bigfoot just popped out of nowhere?

Shane: ryan, with every passing day, you continue to waste 30 minutes of my laugh.

Ryan: thank you, shane. [looks into the camera]

After that, El Nun disappeared. Nobody has yet to see her personally, but many say she still roams the islyum. They also say that sometimes Bigfoot visits them at camp sites and raids them for their food, leaving visitors frigten. This case will remain... **unsolve**.

(fade out)

Happy Halloween everyone. We hope you enjoyed the second part of our Halloween special! There will be some extra special chapters coming soon :) 

—Love, TeamKokoTwo


	8. BIGGŪFUTTŌ VS FUTOSHI FULL FIGHT 60FPS

**LAST CHAPTER ON 「** **ストリッパー in the クラブXXX」(SUTORIPPĀ in the KURABUXXX):**

 _"il mio bambino ... è tornato alla normalità!" grida Kokoro e prese Kanye a sud tra le sue braccia, facendola saltare in aria. Kanye ha pianto il tempo e non è un liek demoniaco per fortuna._

 _Hiro era tornato dalla battaglia._

 _Zoey tornò su Hero con un ghigno sul volto. "no dove eravamo noi."_

 _fuori c'era molto **SHAKE**. Il Giappone stava **sciogliendo**!_

 _"N-nani ?!" urlò Zorome._

 _C'era un'enorme gamba pelosa fuori dalla finestra. tutti sentirono un brivido scendere dalla loro spina, eccetto Hirotwo che già stava scopando e non stava prestando attenzione alla merda._

 _La gamba pelosa di colore marrone scomparve alla vista quando la gamba a cui apparteneva si chinò, un enorme Bulbo Oculare che afferrava la finestra._

 _ **"B-BIGGUFUTTO** ?!" guai a futoshi._

* * *

whil Hir02 were hmmaking hentai noises in the back of the dirty dusty old isylum on top of the corpse of La Nun, kokoror, futoshi, zorome, and all the Others **GASPED** loudly again at the site of the huge (A/N not fat shaming ;;) ビッグフット standing outside la ventana.

he wuz Flexing (weird flex but okay!) like a gross muscly Body Builder... mayhaps he had gotten lessons from Mosuman! there was hairy hair all over him, even his Balls. he waz... STARING AT THEM IN THE EYES!

Kurisu looked at bigfoot in Fear and held Kanyee close to her titties. "Waaäh dis is scaree!" she cryed out, almost suffocating カニエ in her cleavage. Biggufutto HOWLED out so much that the glass on the window SHATTERED into lil pieces and kk scremed again. michael kun was Hit in the eyeball wrh a shard of glassé permanently blinding him. a few shards also hit his wheelchair wheel and Brok one kf them. Sad.

bigfoot kept making Body Builder poses, permanently scarring everyone involved. meanwhile hiro was getting whipped and beat by 02 as she Rode him.

" **HOLY SHIT IS THAT BIGFOOT?!" **Yeled Zorom, Stealing El Camera From Goro And Tape Recording Him. little did he no the camera was Muerte.

Mikoochie rolled her tsun-tsun eyes at him. she realy wanted to just Go Home from this mess and jerk off to Minecraft Porn. "it's probubly just some1 in a costume" (liek the gorrilla suit guy from that spongebob episode). hopefully biggufuuut wouldnt tear all of them in half!

"But look, heis big hairy Penis is hanignging out" shouted zorome except i was too lazy to make this sentence in all caps. i promis he was yelling. "THAT LOOKS REAL TO ME! I WOULD NO!1!"

No 1 questioned that slightly concerned statement (A/N zorome liked to look at bigfoot hentai on rule 34 in his spare time)

all the suddEn , BIGGUFOTTO pucnhed the wall of the castle with his big meaty fists. his ballsack was SHAKING with the motion. everywun yelled again with SFX like this was a anime. the wall crymbled like a Chips Ahoy choco chip cookie and everyone was exposed to the dark outside knight

(hiroand zero teo kept fucking tho xD)

Anyway bigfut started CHARGING so everyone lept out of the way and ran outside... BUT LE CASTLE WAS SUREOUNDED BY WOODS!

"Goin in ther would be succidal. we cant escape from those woods their too Thicc" siad Goro, shaking his head. biiiigfootwas watching fhirowtwo fuck madly like bunnies in heat. "We need to stay here and get sum help"

"BUT WE GONNA DEIE! THINK UF THE CHULDRNE...,;" swid zorome looking at Ye(kanye) even tho he really DIDNT care abt the children. mayB if kokokokoro named him Zorome the Gr8 Jr he wood care!

miku was already calling Da Cops in the bg on her okabe ass edgy red n black flip flop phone whilt the others argued. But obviously the cops wouldnt get there on time and would be dumbasses as usual smh.

"we gotta fite this thing" zorome proclaimed loudly. They all looked at him like he was there savior, like he was gunna fight BigguFutto. but suddenly a wjole load of SWEAT poured down zorom's face nervously.. "—F-FUTOSHI! I CHOSE YOU TO FIGHT HIM!" He said like this was Pokémon the Anime (it got shitty after diamond and pearl, dont at me)

Futoshu was El Shocked and then gave zorome the ' : / ' face. "Dude it was ur idea! Do it urself!" Tbh he didnt really care for kanye east anyway lmao. "Im okay with dying her"

"BUT I CANT DIE A VIRGIN— I MEAN, u gotta save ur chíle, futoshi.." zoogles said in a fake sweet voice. it wusnt vry convincing. "Plus ur the only one whos close enuf to BigguFuttosn size! (A/N not fat shaming dont flame me plz). "

Futoshi gave him A Look.

Meanwhile BigFoot had completed his Jerk Off session to hirowtwo and wasnt distracted anymore! Yikes! They wer runnin out of tim! Bigfoot was aproachin them rapidly, hairy and long 25'Inch Annihilator swinging side to side as he ran, the building **SHAKING** each time his foot came down.

 **STUMPSTUMPSTUMP.**

There was still cum leeking from his tip, spraying the walls with its Seedy the walls were already white, so it's not like anyone would notice. Anyway, the cum continued to go everywhare.

mitsuru shuddered from the thought of having some big hairy ape's LOVE JUICE on him. Oh, yeah. He was back inside because Kokoro wheeled him back in! he still didn't wanna be here tho.

"CHEWBACCA IS COMING!" zorome yelled in terror. This was nothing like the villains he faced in Call of Waifu; a cheap rip-off of Call of Duty where you did missions for anime girls with bad proportions and unrealistic onii-chan fetishes.

"What do we do?" asked Goro, a bead of sweat appearing on his face anime style.

"RUN! BUT WHILE I ALSO RECORD THIS BC THIS IS GONNA GET ME MAJOR CA-CHING" said zorome.

 **[cash register sfx!]**

in reality, zorome's video evidence of BigguFutto would be as shitty as the ones you find on FranXXTube that are coincidentally filmed with a potato flip-fone in 40p. Nobody would believe Zoroem and proceed to call him a fake wannabe attention seeker on FranXXXTube under the username PussySlayer69. He was sorta a compulsive liar in reality anyway, so it was fitting.

everyone **ran**.

"ch-chotttttoooo!" said futoshi, panting. His fat self couldn't keep up with the physical activity and he was already sweating. "shouldn't we wait for zero two and hiro?!"

Everybody looked back at them.

"MHMMMMMM MOMMY! SPANK ME AGAN!" yelled Hiro in the near distance in what everyone could tell was pure ecstasy (no not the drug).

 **(LOUD SPANKING SOUND)**

It sounded as if Zero Turf had spanked Hiro with a thick whip.

"Oh? Scream louder for mommy, i cunt hear you!" yelled zero two back. The couple were still in the room The Yeti had smashed into like a Smash Bros entrance.

Everyone looked at each other.

everyone had the same thought.

'forget them!'

so everyone continued to sprite out of there. Eventually, they made it outside in the crispy stale smelling air. The place was abandoned after all. even dough they made it outside tho, they could still hear loud earthquakes in the background that rattled their heads around.

It was enough to make the wheels to mitsuru's bedazzled wheel chair move on their own, wheeling him down a hill before anyone could help him.

"ahhhhhhhhhgh!" yelled Mitsuru.

"OH NO MICHAEL!" SHOUTED kokoro with an arm extended to her disappeared baby daddy. He was gone once again.

Tears started to prick her eyes.

"guys michael rolled backward down the heel!" cried kokoro who was calmly breastfeeding Kan Yé at the same time.

"y'all hear sumn?" said miku in a sarcastic voice.

everybody shook their heads. Nobody in the group actually liked Mitsuru.

"T-THE APEMAN! HE FOLLOWED US!" futoshi said s-sh-shakily.

"where do we go now!?" yelled Goro.

"UHH, EVERYBODY GET IN THE CAR! F-FATOSHI U DEAL WITH BIGFUTTO!" yelled Zorome.

Futoshi gave zoorme that same Look.

"bro, that's not fai–"

"Hurry up losers I don't get paid enough to deal with this sh*t!" said Miku in an annoyed voiced, gesturing for everyone to get their scared asses inside the car.

"WE'LL CHEER YOU ON FROM THE SIDELINES!" Zorome said with stars in his eyes, running away from his (now ex)best friend. "BUT MAKE SURE TO MAKE BIGFOOT FACE THE TRUCK SO I CAN GET A GOOD SHOT!"

everyone was gone. Futoshi **gulped**. It was just him and BígguFùtto now.

 _['FUTOSHI V.S BIGGUFUTTO' slides across the screen Mortal Kombat style]_

futoshi was used to fighting other armys for front row BTS concert tickets and photocards, not mythical creatures! May Jungkook Christ give him strangth in this time of need...

The grizzly ape stopped a few feet away from him, breathing heavily with his fists clenched. His muscles were swole and very defined, Big Foot even had an eight— NANI?!— HE HAD A **20** -PACK. as if trying to flaunt the fact that he had a sexier body than him, Bigfeet started to make muscle man poses again like he were auditioning for a modeling ad.

 **chotto**...

was _that_ the battle Biggufutto wanted from them!? Futoshi gulped. he didn't have any hopes of winning this, but he couldn't die before he showed jungkook his spacially written Wattpad #1 hit 'jungkook x reader - YANDERE story' fanfic! he had to survive this somehow!

futoshi: **ENTER HERO MODE.**

 _['ODD FUTURE' by BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND]_

 _Ichibu wo shitte high_

 _I_ _towazu starlight_

 _Mujun wo tanoshimeru yoyuu_

Futoshi tore off his pizza stained "Property of jungkook" shirtand threw it on the ground. underneath was his **Thicc** bod, but what nobody expected was the fact that he was...MUSCULAR UNDERNEATH TOO!

no, he didn't have a 20-pack or even a 6-pack, but Furoshi lifted weights everyday to make sure he had enough strength to physically fight other K-pop fans at K-CON every year. His arms were like Spongebob's pink fake muscle arms in that one episode in which spongebob pretended to not have sticks for arms. except _these_ were reel!

 _Biri nara biri de One step_

 _Mizukara oboreru One step_

 _Tayasuku subete One step_

he knew what bigfoot wanted from him. BigFUTTO wanted him to FLEX! (still a weird flex, but ok) Futoshi made a special pose, fumes leaving his nostrils from how pumped up he was to challenge Bigfoot.

"I'm the hot suitted army of love and justice! In the name of Jungkook, I will punish you! ("私は愛と正義の温かい軍隊です！Jungkookの名前で、私はあなたを罰します!")

the flex-off **began**.

biggufuttō started posing in Josuke Higashikata's Signature Pose from the hit anime and manga series _JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Part 4 - Diamond is Unbreakable(copyright)._ It was then that futoshi Knew... **He'd Have to pull Out all the smexiest and most fabulous Jojo poses to win this.**

Bigfoote continued showing off his 26 pack of abs with his Josuke pose, and then topping it off with...GASP...JONATHAN JOESTAR'S FAMOUS POSE! Yes, *THE* Jonathan Joestar from the hit anime and manga series _JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 1(patent pending)._ Oh SNAP!

"젠장! (dammit!)" said Futoshi-kun in Korean. Just then Futoshi stepped closer to biggufutto with a dead, determined look in his eyes like those special effect scenes also in the hit anime and manga series _JoJo's Bizarre Adventure(trademark Hirohiko Araki)._ Unfortunately because of the tense situation he couldnt think of any clever one-liners (A/N it's 11pm and _i_ cant think of anything creative to say here).

But i digress.

Futoshi w-w-w- **WHIPPED** out a pose from Italian Jesus himself: the ultra sexy and hot mama pose of Giorno Giovanna from the hit anime and manga series _JoJo's Bizzare Adventure: Part 5 - Vento Aureo(name subject to change)._ This particular pose...even showed a bit of scandalous **cleavage!** Futoshi was busy flexing his 6 pack* (*of pudding) to Biggufutto, and his thicc Mista-like ass was making Bigfeett (A/N: and me *horny emoji*) McSweat!

 **Zoo Wee Mama!**

The end was Near!

Bigfeet was...BEGINNING TO SHINE! HE WAS... LE GASPING! And... EL SHAKING! This was the most powerful of JoJo Poses after all! Two of Bigfoot's measly poses were no match for the power of Italian DiGiorno Christ (A/N **NOT** delivery).

"Ñe!" Futoshi said in Engrish, watching El Biggufoutto twitch and spasm. His cum was flyin EVERYWHERE. "Is it...Over?'

There was a loud **HOWL** from Bugfoot as he did one last Joseph Joestar from the hit anime and manga series _JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Part 2 - Batle Tendency(registered trademark)_ pose (A/N The pose that looks like John Cena's "U cant see Me" pose xD) until he BURNED UP into ASHES (like the song burning it down by linkin park).

(crispily burnt like DiGiorno's Thin Pizza Crust. Buy now in your local freezer aisle to get a large 2 topping pizza for only 700 yen! While supplies last stores may vary)

"Wow!" Said Futoshi. "That was so intense! my heart was beating faster than when i try to keep a full combo on expert mode in Bandori (ガールズバンドパーティ!)!" He wipped a giant anime sweat drop off his thicc ginger eyebrows. He had won thanks to the holy power of Jungkook!

Meanwhile the others were still there in Miku's Nasty Ass pickup truck from Bomino's. Why hadnt they left! Zorome was video taping the fwhole fight on his Vintage Panasonic camcorder.

"Nice!" He said. "I'll make sure to edit this real good on Windows Movie Maker tonight!"

[DIAL UP SFX]

(A/N if u dunno what dial up is or what it sounds like GTFO!)

"Nee wheres missorui at)!" Said koKoro, still panicking over her Fake baby daddy. No one else cared as usual so they didnt listen to her! They were all 2 busy staring at Futoshi in-disbelief.

 **X FILES THEME PLAYS**

Like a Booboo, kookoo had forgooten that Michael had rolled down the hill and into el bosque! "Oh my kami-sama! " yelled Jokoro, sliding down el hill with Kanye suckling her utters still. Thankfully her thicc ass meant she didnt feel any pain!

" **MITSURU!1"** Kokoro keept shouting ditzily. Kanye Weet was now suckling on her hair and eating it like spaghet. Mama Mia!

[METAL GEAR SOLID '!' SFX PLAYS]

"—ne?! That's Mictchel's Lamborghini Wheelchair!" Exclaimed Kokoro-chan, stepping closer to La Silla. BOTH of the wheels were now broken off! "Oh no! Mitsuru/kun cantbe ded! I didnt get enough of his microdick, plus Kanye still needs a college fund!""

All of the sudden a FACE appeared between the trees... NANI?! IT WAS A **MASK!** It was white and CREEPY af. Kokoroon gasped and almost fainted!

There was... **MICHAEL MYERS FROM THE HIT HORROR MOVIE SERIES _HALLOWEEN(but only halloween from 1978, not all the sh*tty sequels!)._**

He was holding a Knife up to mitsur's bony throat!

—

—

—

つづく。

* * *

Thank you for being patient with our update schedule. We hope you enjoyed this chapter and continue to stick around for all the other adventures we have planned :)

\- TeamKokotwo


	9. MM VS MITSURO PW VS ZINC

**MICHAEL MYÉRS VS MITSURO**

Kokoro galloped nervously, bootylicious blue eyes looking between Mitsuru-kun and Michael myers Who still held the deluxe pink, sharp Barbie Dreamworld kitchen knife to her baby daddi's bony throat.

"C-Chotto a minute! (W-Wait a minute!)" yodelled kokoro.

Michael Mayo remained **silent** , only cocking (no, not that naughty way) his head to the side silently (and eerily).

"COCOA! go GET HALP!" mitsucky creamed at her in a panic. He could already feel his life yeeting before his eyes.

He had so much to life for, he couldn't dye now. after all, he knew that Kokoro Connect would try to take all his as soon as he dead. He couldn't let that cheap slut get her sloppily french manicured nails get on his custom-made money that had his face on every roller bill.

' _Mitsuru Bucks_ ' he called it. he was very pride of it .

"N-no, milo! I cun't leave you! You'll dye as soon as i leave!"

Mitsuru felt f*ckin annoyed. He couldn't count on her to do うんこ (sh*t in japanese), could he? just as he rolled his eyes they both heard a _WOOSH_.

It was michael myers swishing the sharp blade of his Barbie Murderworld Deluxe knife in the air, practicing his swing! sooner or later he wood be ready to rock 'n roll! (or cut and slash we should say!)

Michael mayhem was getting tired of waiting for the horny couple to finish yelling, so he **Got Ready.** he took a paint brush from out of his ass which was drippin in Blood Red ink (it was real blood).

"Häh?" mitchie said, confused.

The knife murderer started to draw on Mitsuru's bald and shiny ass head, painting a bullseye target right on it which wuld help him perfect his angle once he went stabby stabby . mitsuru would've felt his eye twitch from the humiliation was he not pissing himself right now, making his Gucci pants drench wetter than the Pacificu Oceano.

Mitsuru was literally shakin in his skeleton, eyes clenched as thicc and heavy tears rolled down his cheeks. His butt cheeks as well because yes they were crying too, snot also ran down his nose. It Was Fuckin Disgusting. Kokoro was worried that mitsuru was gonna shed his skin and hatch from his skeleton from how hard he was shaking . . . it was like earthquake .

"Pah-Please spare me! Take her instead!" Mitsuru begged, but the Hash Slinging Slasher remained as silent as Flat Earthers when you ask them what's under the earth.

Kokoro could feel her heart brake like Futoshi's did when he dropped his funnel cake on the floor (but still proceeded to eat it).

"Mi-Michael jackson-kun you don't mean that do u?" Kokoro whimpered, eyes pricking with tares.

" **[beep]** yeah, I do!" musical retorted, angry fumes leaving his nostrils like the fuming iPhone Emoji. Her thicc ass has ruined his life! While the Soap Opera couple were busy, Michael Mayoonise was ready to rock.

He lifted his sharp knife into the air, about to stab mitsuru clean on the head but then kokroooooo **SHOUTED**!

"NO MATTHEW!" she screamed and her feet **MOVED**.

Her fat jiggled everywhere as she ran towards the cereal killer and her rich baby daddy. able to detect what his dumbass mama was about to do, Kanye unlatched his baby lips from around her nip and jumped out of his mama's arms with a peace sign like the baby was saying "duces!"

Kanye was rite too. Mitsuru's eyes widened as Kokoro ran in front of him and took the stab herself!

 _*drip, drip_ *

"Me-Me...suru..." kokro coughed up blood.

Mitsuru was shellshocked. "K-Korko-chan?!"

"Moses... i want you to know...:.. that i... Always loved... your money."

Just like that, kokoro passed out but she wasn't die. the knife dug into her brasts, but thankfully because of how thick her curvy bod was, The fat shielded the blade from any vital organs. The knife was just awkwardly lodged into her boob now.

Mitsuru tookthis chance to crawl away rapído! without even checking to make sure krillin was alive or even get to Big South. He needed to get out of here, but his sh*tty legs wouldn't work! as he dragged his pathetic and frail body along the dirt, he was drenching the ground with his urine.

"Onegaishimasu someone halp me!"

El Michael Mayor theme song began to play in the background out of nowhere as morgan went into hysteria. This creeped Mitusuru the fuck out. somewhere in the distance, the song was coming from Miku's pizza truck since zorome decided to pop in some Halloween (no pun intended) for the occasion. the window were rolled down only because the truck was so badly worn down that it no longer had any windows and was replaced with Plastic Wrap instead with scotch tape to keep it in place.

So, the michael Myers theme song BOOMED from the Pizza Truck from Toy Story ( but worse.) Zorome had actually requested it thinking that Hatsune Miku would get so scared that she wud make out with him, but instead she just became anger and punched Zaroxolyn fresh in the face when he put his arm around her.

Tough love. with the music so loud, nobody could hear mitsuru's cries for help. Oh, well.

 **(camera transitions back to mitsuru vs mitchel myers le windows movie maker style: [action stars])**

Mikey continued crawling like a little bitchy baby across the flooor. He luuked behind him only to see Tupac South shlapping Cocoa's bewbies with his McTiny hand, begging for sweet mommy milk. the Jason Vorhees Brand machete was still stickin out her tig bitties but Biggie didn't care! he was crying as he suckled that cow cum out her NIPS. One of kok's eyes opened tiredly as her face went pale from life juice loss—

What the fuck! Why couldnt she just die?

Michelangelo almost puked out of disgust for the breastfeeding scene and the fact that a whore like Kokoro was still alive when suddenly he remembered... El Micheal Meyers was still chasing him!

[GASP SOUND EFFECT]

"POR FAVOR! AYUDAME!" But no one understood spanish :'(

He struggled with his stick arms to move his frail weak body. He had no muscles like mosuman or biggufutto did! He was a poor weak degenerate and now it wud be the death of him! He was SWEATING like he was futoshi walking up one flight of stairs. The Halloween(tm) theme kept on playing loudly in a now bassboosted style, making Mosuru-kun's eardrums BLEED.

 **FUCK!**

Against his better judgement he lifted his hands to shield his ears—and that's when Michael-chan got him! He McGrabbed missouri's Versace pant leg that was soaked in urine still. Mitsuru **SHIVERED** and his teeth were clackin like his skeleton was about to hatch from his body

" **AAAYYYYYYEEEHHHH!** ' Yelled michelle, his tsun tsun eyes filled with fear (A/N: bc hes a pussy x') lol i can be clever sometimes) and his teeth BROKE from the chatterin. Now he was even more cripple!

MICHAEL grabbed missurur's bejeweled collar of his Prada shirt that was puke green like his hair abd CHOKED him tite, making Mitsuru get kinky horny (A/N this was 1 of his many weird fetishes besides pegnanté kink :flustered emoji:) But mitsurur pissed again from da fear... michael-sama held up his Fisher Price Plastic Kitchen Knife and breathed **HEAVILY AND SEXILY** write into Misery's screaming opened mouth. RUH ROH SCOOB!

This Was It... **This Was The End**

Unfortunately mikū and zor BLASTED thru the trees at the exact moment Mista Mayo was about to SLASH his weapon down right across Mitsururss throat.

No they hated mitsurur so they didnt run michael over... but they did throw a mold pizza box at him, momentarily distracting him!

"seeyanara, amigo" said zorome in an arnold schwarzenneger (a/n i cant spell his last name and i dont wanna look it up xP) accent that was lowkey racist.

La Michael Myers... **winced in pain?!**

"but how..? Said Goro", who was conveniently with futoshi in the back of El pisa truck. He was adjusting his glasses and they did the anime glare thing. [SHINE SFX] "Michael Myers is invincible! U must be an impersonataor!"

Everyone le gasped at the realization

Mitchel dropped his knife in **shock** and dropped misery too. Mitsuru landed on the dirt and swallowed a hole lot of it along with a bunch of worms. A GOOD SOURCE OF PROTEIN! His neck SNAPPED tho and mayhaps he would be paralyzed from the waist up now too...

but anywho its not like any1 cared about THAT plot hole.

Mayo-sensei's hand reched up to grab his mask, and suddenly he pulled the rubber off...

It was... **ICHIGO!**

[PHOENIX WRIGHT MUSIC PLAYS]

" **O. !** " yelled Zorome and Foodtoshi as the same exact time. There eyeballs were popping out of their sockets like this was an anime.

Ichigo was the former bartender for STRIPPERS in the CLUBXXX and had even served goro the night of hiro's bday! They had chatted it up and they had even exchanged telephono nombres.

"But why... what r u killing mitsuru for? I mean he is an ass but.." questioned Godbro, slicking back his Boruto's Dad hair. He kept looking at the bluenette's nonexistent titties and getting turned the fuck on by such a flat chest.

However Strawberry just stared him down like Satsuki glaring at Ryuko. Her eyes were **menacing** and her expressions were cold and scary! But Goro was still kinda turned on by that too.

"You..." she said, the mask falling flaccidly to her side. The blood-covered rubber fell to da ground and smeared all over Mitsuru's bony and unattractive cheek. "YOU LEFT ME ON READ YOU MAN WHORE!"'

 **'DÍOS MIÔS WUT A BABE!'** thought Griffin inside his head. not only was she sexier than the lolicon section of Pixiv R-18 (which ppl constantly kinkshamed him on r/waifus for), but she was HAWT when she was angry too! Goro's All-Seeing-Bro eye advised him not to get too close to her while she was hiding that knife so menacingly dough!

Strawberry Shortcake's point seemed to go through one ear and out the other as all gregory could imagine was the flat-chested board whipping his naked, round Captain American-like cheeks hard in bed because he _did_ do his squats every day. a rock-hard eggplant was forming in his tight and ugly plaid pants at the thot of being the shortcake's little puta.

"Êh, my fone? i forgoot... i had to buy a new one after someone (arrow blinks in 'n out as it points to Zoromeh) dropped it in a glass of vodka. i lost all my contacts including urs," Gregory explained and whipped out his replacement phone. It was an outdated and blue Vintage Nokia 5110 GSM with an astrocious and bulky antenna sticking out from it instead of an actual upgrade. apparnely, everyone in this fic is allergic to new technology except zero two (that stripper ca-ching!)

He flashed the strawberry parfait his usual Godbro smile, "But that can change."

Strawberry Myers stared at godbro in creepy complete and utter silence as she contemplatated his excuse, eyes wide like a mad woman from LifeTime movie. Godbro didn't feel unnerved tho, just gettin hornier by the second. his horniness was ejecting phenemome (how tf u spell this?) waves now which everyone could smell. It smelled foul.

MEANWHILE, below their feet, mitsasuke was making gagging noises because the bloody Michael Kruger had gotten lodged in his throat somehow. nobody cared though all except kokoro who put her hand between her fat and Jiggly thighs, and started to rub herself furiously to mitsuru's near death experience and completely dislocated body.

Post Southlone gingerly succklin the all naturalé ushi ('cow' in english, written as '牛' in japanese kanji) milk out of her leaky utter heightened her hornyness and sped Croakora near her orgasUm! ",MHM!"

After more seconds of thinkin, strawberry cheesecake decided to call chief on her iPod Nano to see what he thot and he said "This Ain't It". Strawberry knew her answer after that. Goro was a **_filthy_** liar. the loli's hurt ached at the thought of being rejected for the 18008867th time in her life. Why did all the boys she liked hate her?! Just bc she didn't have huge BEWBS!?¿

"The only thing i'll be giving u is my hatred," Ichigo said in a dark voice which made a sweat bead roll down his face. Goro kept his Godbro **TM** smile up tho which his hand was mysteriously moving in jerking motions inside his pants.

Just as the Strabwery Jam took a murderous step forward , the tires to Mila Kunis' pizza tick went _SKKKKKKKKKRT_.

 **"ZOROME LET GO OF TEH WHEEL BAKA!"**

It was **zoorme**.

For sum reason, he managed to lean over into the driver's seat while miku went to pick up her fake Hot Pink press-on nail (that she bought from Hot Topic) that fell onto the floor. at that moment, zorome decided to show off his hot driver's skill despite the fact that he actually was **NG** (Not Good) behind the wheel. His friends were even certain that his drivers liscene was fake.

"ZOROME WE'RE GONNA CRAASH! AaAAAAAAAAH!" miku SCREAMED.

The bright headlights came on and blinded Goro and IchiTwo (A/N: best yuri ship) momentarily. the car went ZOOM and in that moment, the truck luckily managed to miss goro by a landslide but it slammed straight into ichigo.

 _THUMP._

"h-holy fuck... I DIDN'T DO SHIT!" zorome cried out guilty. However, it was obviously that he indeed did do shit because Ichigo's body started to fly into the air from the hard impact, arms flailing about as she screamed for deer life.

" _fuuuuUUUUUCKK YOU ALLLLLLLL_!" Ichigo screamed i n her annoying and obnoxious high-pitched voice, the knife having left her hand and landed cleanly beside mitsuru's head. it only nicked his ear makin a trickle of the red life support liquid piss down his earlobe.

Goro was grunting beclause he just finished his orgasm, having climaxed all into his pants while a single le tear slid down his cheek at the thought of his strawberry loli possibly dying after this before he culd hit it. Maybe he'll write a book called 'The Sad Lonely Life of a Virgin'.

"Sayonara... strawberry..."

Mitsuru was spazzing on the floor now, spit foaming at his mouth. He and Kokoro wud need a hospital immediately but too late the group didn't care! _SLAP_. Kanye Malone continued to slap milk out of his mommy's tit like it was a water fountain, giggling in his own amusement. hehe.

"u IDIOT! now i have to pay for the damage to the car! AND–" Hatsune scolded Zorome tsunderely who decided to turn up the volume to the bass-boosted halloween tune to drown out miku's voice. he slid on some black shades out of nowhere and started headbanging, ignoring her completely.

the car was vibratin now from how loud the song was, definitely attractin any ghosties or supernatural creatures who could be around.

"ALSHSKSHJSJS!" ('Fuck! I'm the only one keeping shit together around here!') Miku said, but it was muffled because of the 1-Hour-Loop of Halloween [BASSBOOSTED].

miku slsmmd the truck door open and started to drag mitsukoko's bodies into the backseat of the camíon. mitsuru was tossed to the trunk because he looked so ugly and disfigured that it creep miku out and also pissed her off. However, she kept Kokro laid out on the backseat using flufftoshi's fat as a cushion for her gentle bod.

As the shirtless Flutoshi was eating at the Subway he stuffed between his ass cheeks before they left as a snack, he quickly cup a feel for kokoro's titty and groped it while miku wasn't looking. or else she might beat him up like she did with Zorome.

"Hey perv! make sure kokoro stays awake!" miku said.

Futoshi smiled and said, "Okie dokie."

Just then, her balonee slipped out of his subway sandwich and landed on kokoro's face along with some pickles and onions. _SHLICK_. "whoops" said futoshi who picked up the balonee and condiments, eating it straight off her face. he also started to lick up the mustard that fell on kokkoro's unconscious face with his finger. Miku rolled her eyes.

"i'm kickin u out," miku said, before using her foot to hit zorome until he fell out of the car door. She would actually come back for him, but she wanted to teach him a leison.

"HOLY SH*T!" zoorme cursed as his ass fell onto the dirty ground, getting a bit fat wet stain on the back of his pants from The Mud. Before he could get up and get back into the car, the old and worn down tires to Miku's truck were already screechin and sparkin up as she sped off with Goro also in the vehicle by now.

 _*SCREEEEEECH_ *

Zorome was **alone**.

* * *

 **PENNYWISDOM** **VS** **ZINC**

For sum reazon, there was a suspicious sewer drain on the side of the bumpy dusty dirt path in the woods. However Zebra-kun was too rattled from the **BANG** fall out of Michie's moving piza truck going 82MPH to question it.

"owowowowow". Said Zorome as he sat up. His eyeballs were shaking up and down like a slot machine! [NUMBERS ROLL DOWN TO SAY '666'] [CA-CHING SFX] Zack shook his head and blinked. His penial weapon was full erectile.

He blinked again, and then saw el trucko driving away STILL. suddenly he had a realization. [light bulb blinks on above his head]. " **HEY** WHAT THE [BEEP] " ! screecked Zorome, slightly turned on by the mudd seeping into his asscrak Woowwowow! He culd feel it slippin jnto his asshole like jiffylube.

"What a bunch of a-a-a-assholes...!" Zorom said in a fake tryhard tsunday voice, despite the fact that THICC tears were flown down his cheeks. His lip was quaking and quiverig from his inability to hide his emotions.

Sudenly, a scar appeard between the rusty grimey sewer greats! Zolom SCREAMED again from el shock and his Pussiness combined and jumped back 10FT, landing on his Flat as a pancake Ass into more mud. _Shiver shiver!_ Zorome-kun was turned on again u / / / u

When Zackary stopped crying and Sh-Shaking like a cold Chihuahua left in the snow for 8 hours (A/N yes it's a height joke too xD i can be cleaver sometiems :crazy_face_emoji:), he slowly and dramaticly tilted his head to sea whomst was starin at him from le sewers.

era... ¿¡un **clownó**!?

"Y-Y-Y-YATTÁ "! Zowowome #shook in dumbass panick so hard that his vape pen (A/N yes i know it's called a Juul Osco) flip flopped out his back pocket and onto the yellow dead grass. The clown's face had emo edgy Red paint cumin down from his eyeballs like they were magma-colored blood stains. Also his (also red) hairline (wigline) was more receeding than Mitsuru's (pitbull's).

He wooked up at Zander. Zander FROZE like all the freezerburned ice cream Futoshi still kept in their fridger. El clowno (A/N that's clown in French) smilled creepily and showed his fangs. "Z...Zowomie~" o/ / / /o "come hewe~"

"H-...he...heh..,...h" st-st-stuttered Zolomeme, his erector suddenly falling down like London Bridge. He thunk harder about his predicament, harder then JimmyJohn Neutron's Brain thinking sequence!

" **AHA! T** he best solution is to Get Lit!" Taking advice and lifestyle models from his idol himself Snoop Doggie HotDog, Zoogeographical retched out to grab his vaperizer. Luckily he had just reloaded it with some extra spare weed they had gotten for mad cheap. Franklin had made pot brownies earlier and Zorome had took the leftover juices and stuffed it into his jewel. Little did he kno the man whom sold them the """weed""" had achually just given them fancy pants Spinach!

He lifted la vape to his mouth. "Bottoms up" he said. Triumphantly, drinking the "weed" instead of vaping it. But somehow... **he still got high!**

[SCREEN TURNS INTO THE WEED FILTER FROM GTA 5]

"Oh, Zooey~" said Pennywise seductively, CRACKING won of the sewer bars in HALF. it crumbld to the floor. However zoomiez just stared blankly and smilled :)) "you like tacos? I have tacos down hear" he tempted smilling :)) back at Zorome.

Zoo shooketh his head "Nah i just ate" High Zorome's woke brain was referring to the spinach.

Hmm. Nicklewise had to think about this. "Well, i got sum MILF cow hentai down her —"

"Say no moar," said Zorome pervertedly, his bloodshot weed eyes going wide with pleasure. His meatrod SHOT up again. He practically **sprinted** over to Quarterwise and started being grabby grabby at the swewr grates.

JUST THEN EL PENNYWISE SAW HIS CHANCE! HE JUMPED FORWARD AND BIT ZOLOMON'S EL BRAZO (a/n that's arm in Chinese)

After being tricked Yet Again, zorome yelled "YAWOOOOQOOO **OOOOO** '!" b4 realizing that luckily his extra thicc gold-plated Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Disk **TM** took the blow! It was made of such high quality Japanes plasticc that Dimewise's long teeth didnt even scratch him!

"THANK [BEEP] " BREATHES zorome heavily as if he was holding his breath running thru the perfume section of the local rich people mall store.

Pennyworth glared up and GROWLED at Zelda. "ZOWOWIE! YOU **LITTLE** BRAT!1!" He McLunged upward and broke thru the sewer!

But then... he stopped!

Zzz looked at Pennywise and felt a doki doki sensation in his corazon! "Pennywise-senpai... **YOU MAKE ME FEEL MOE MOE KYUN!** " And so they both fell into each others passionate embrace !

/PIi19MI8QAA started playing saucily and sexily somehow from within the Empty ass forest. Zorome K-I-S-Z-E-D Nickelback on his puffy clown lips which looked like they were severely chapped and swollen from bee stings. But Zombie didnt care! He stuck hiz hole Tongue inside Booboo the clown's mouth, suckling on his uvula and spitting his spit between his teeth.

"Oh DollarCoinWise.." mumbled Zorome hornily. This was wrong! Zorome was already gay for Futshi and striaght for Michelle! He kept telling himself it was just the weed making him have these Wild thots...

The passion was too much for Pennydime! With Zippy's veiny erection chode pressing into his clown pants and his clown shoes digging into Zorome's small and unimpresssive ass... **Well call him Ronald McDonald cause he was** luvin it!

Bozo from the Gay Agenda into balloon pieces like the episode of Spongeūbobō where Squidward's thighs blew up from eatin too much krabby parties.

Since he was still el high, it took Zoner around 3 sec to realize that Pennywise was... **ded!** A singular blue tear went down Zigzag's face as he mourned the death of his lover. But he also felt...relief! "I...will always luv u, Pennywise-säma!" Yeled zorome like an anime protag (but in Mariah Carey's voice like the song), looking up at the rainy sky above him.

He could see... the pizza truck... cummin back 4 him?!

It was a Thanksgiving miracle!

* * *

Hi, I hope everyone is enjoying the end of our Halloween special and the beginning of our Thanksgiving special! :) Please stay tuned to find out what kind of shenanigans our heroes get into next! Reciews are appreciated.

— TeamKokoTwo


	10. HIRO X ZT LEMON DON'T LIKE DON'T READ

President Zero Two sat in the triangle office (a.k.a 'triangle' instead of oval office because the government is directly connected to El Illuminati.) As she sucked on her Earwax Flavored lollipop, she waited for the fresh turkeys to be sent to her for Thenksgivig. as presidnet, she needed to select the official Presidental honary turkey for Thanksgetting this year.

President Zero Two let out a bored sigh. She was still tired from ending her alliance with the fat fuck named donald trump (because he kept bombing her darlings for no reason and then covered it by calling it "fake news") and making a bill that would make it legal for people to murder neo-n*zis on the spot. All in a long dey's work for Prez. Zero True.

The black, flat screen 95 Inch TV blared music from it on 200% volume because the Bacy's Thanksgetting Dey Purade. Ponytail Grande just finished prefroming 'Muchas Gracias, Adios' in a sexy unitard that made zero two momentarily wonder if she was bitsexual. now japanese girl-group (because it's Japan, duh) Keyakizaka46 was on stage. zero two thot about how she could sing better than the group combined, but that Neru-chan girl was cute. zero two wanted a tastey.

there was a knock on the door.

"The twerkies are here, president."

It was her assistant Futoshi. Zero two gave almost everyone from That night a job in the White-Out House because they were all still unemployed after the ghost huntin fail. Turns out Zorome was scammed and he was -$8797837627363737 dollars in debt bc of the mysterious man who took his credit card and spent it on shit he couldn't afford even with his entire life.

"Oh, grate," zero two popped the vomit flavored lolli out her mouth and took the remote, flinging it at the tv screen (because the "off" button got stuck and made her anger, but it could be replaced since she was filthy rich!) just as soon as the MC announced that a shitty K-pop group named BTS were about to perform "Idol". thenk godness futoshi didnt notice.

President Zeto Two stood up from her luscious office chair, walking with non-prescripition eye-glasses on, in red, high heels and a sexy office suit for a female. Assistant Futoshi guided her to a room that had all the turkeys lined up for the pickin, phone in his back pocket which was streaming BTS discropgraphy at this time.

The turkies were here, flapping their idiotic wings and yelping all over the place because her stupid assistants couldn't keep them in control. president two rollered her eyes.

"AHEM THE PRESIDENT IS HERE!" futoshi raised his voice, negro earbud in one ear. it was supposed to be so the other officials could reach him, but zero two knew he was actually playin BTS on Spatify this hole time.

Futoshi's yelled startled the antsy turkies into fright-or-fight mode, so they started two attack the poor Men In Black by biting their noses and picking their eyeblues out with their beaks. as the men cried, zero two ignored them for the _Finest_ and quietest turkey in the room. it was a turkey she specifically rqested for!

"mHmm." zero two licked her plump and sexy lips. "watashi wants this one," she purred sexily as she approached her soon-to-be dinner.

In honesty, the turkey was not actually a turkey at all but Hiro who was butt-naked on a large, silver platter. a rope binded his wrists behind his back and binded his feet together by his ankles, and he had an shiny Red apple in his mouth like a pig when you got ready to eat it. his butt shined ( _sxf_ ) in the light bc the men had polished and glazed hiro's sweet cheeks with some butter.

He was like an actual pig on a platter except he nothing but a butt-naked incel who was about to have his Vigara kill for the fourth time. Zero Two was salivating by the mouth at the thought of devouring them buns.

"I have chosen you as my darling," zero tsu whispered sexily as her fingers traced along his jawline. Between his legs, huro was already squrting spurts of cum out his penny from how excite and horny he was. zero two took the handle of serving tray and wheeled it back into her oval office for...the stuffing.

Prez 02 slammed the door behind her and firmly **locked** it. When the Zero Two begun to BARRICADE the door like she was going into defcon 1 or was in Black Ops Zombies "FIVE" level, Hiro GULPED loudly, almost choking on his own saliva. There were rojo marks on his wrists from the tight BDSM ropes that one of zt's other assistants, Zorome, had bought from a shady sex shop on the ghetto side of Los Santos—gomennasai, i mean Washington DC. you would expect them to be a shitty quality and easily brekable but suprisingly they werent!

'WTF!' thot hiro-kun in a panic.

Hilo was struggling to break free but then 02 lifted him onto her Octagon Office's desk and was lightly caressing his slightly-rounder-than-averge ass. He stopped shaking at that momento as his penís grew hard. Thankfully he was curled up like a pig so ZT couldnt see!

"You're the perfect lil turky" said Zero Two, squeezing one butt cheek in her hand. Hiro SHIVERED and gagged on the bright red (slightly mushy) apple stuck in his mouth. "But every gud turkie needs to be stuffed." With that Ziggy Two leaned down and licked her tongue all the way up Hiro's ass crack. It was soaked in saliva.

La Presidenté loosened his restraints slightly and spread his legs further a part. "Mmmmm" moaned ZT, licking her lips. Hiro's puny legs and thighs were red and shaky from being held onto the cold silver platter all day. Eo To cleared her throat loudly, and hiro turned his head back as much as he cud to look at the mad look in her eyes. "Watashi... is going to eaten you."

 **At that moment, Hero knew he had fucked up.**

His incel Chrysler Bod wasnt used to this constant sexual abuse! Even if he liked it and was surely going to the 9th level of Hell when he died from being dicked down so much! Moar cum started leaking out of his chode like a car with a broken gasoline tank.

He strted shlobbering on the apple and humping the air, horny for Zero Teo to just hurry up and take him right then and there!

Conveniently there was a whole picher of Gravy off to the side on the desk. O2 grabby it quickly and held the spout up to Hiro's crack. She rubbed it along his hairy hole, teasing him. The metal felt cold and Hido started humping more furiously.

Zt reached out her perfectly manicured with red nailpolish nails and spread his ass cheeks WIDER, pulling away his soggy flaps. Now she could see his leaky micropenis, making the platter all wet and sticky. "Youre bein a naughty boy, Dahlin." Zwro Two **SHOVED** the tip of the spout into Hiro's ass and lifted it... All the gravy SPILLED out into his tender butthole, filling him up.

All the chunky gooey delicious Thunksgeiving gravy felt heavenly up Hiro's butt... It was making him evern more horny! But if 002 saw him cumming, she's punish him! He kept his cum in tho and bit his tongue and the apple choking him. His emo bangs fell over his eyes as tears of pleashur started to form.

President ZigZag was luckily so tall and sexy like an Amazon Woman that she could cleanly fuck Hiro's asshole w/o even going on the desktop!

She undid her bright YouTubeRed-colored tie and started unbuttoning her dark black Sexy Presidential Suit and white dress shirt. Her Lovely Lady Humps were now visible for every1 to see! Underneath her clothes, she already had a Strap-on on, but instead of her usual Annihilator dildo she bought off Ebay, it was a THICC and sturdy corn on the cob.

PRES. Zeta Titor fondled her own plump breasts as she firmly dug her stilettos into the rich people wood floor and THRUSTed into Hiro's tight, Verizon bottom. It was nice and wet not only from never being violated but also from the Gravie. "Darrrrrrling" whispered 02 seductively, grabbing onto Hiro's legs for balance so hard that she left claw marks in his skin.

 *** SHLOOP SHLOOP SHLOOP ***

That was the sound like a slide whistle that came out of Hiro's anus being violently and kinkily annihilated by the Futanari.

The gravy lube may have been thick af but the Corn on the Cob went all the way up Hiro's ass until he was shure it was gonna make his one of his organs burst! He didnt want to die from internal bleeding due to sex! Hiro wanted to jerk himself off but alas, his hands wer still tied up.

Luckily at the same time Zero Two leaned over across Hiro's buttery buttcheeks (licking the butter off) and recahed one hand to his microdick. She fondled his meatball testes in her gravy-soaked palm and gave him the most Intense handjob of his life like she was shaking a Wii remote up and down.

As Harry started to mooooan like a slut, Zero Dos' mighty thrusts grew mightier into Hiro's gravy-filled ass. The tip of the corncob demolished the boy's insides, stirring around his intestinets and making hiro's eyeballs literally roll behind his eyes like you'd only see in explicit and exaggerated doujinshi.

 _ **SLICK. SLLOSH.**_

That was the sound of the gravy milking around inside the Gravy dam that was huro-kun's sexy anus. the gravy spilled out, trickling out of Hiro's ass but also drooping all over the corncob like thicc mucus. Tears filled hiro's eyes like he was watching the finale to Kyoukai no Kanata, but not from the violent sexual abuse but from intense pleasure.

Hiro's body shuddered like someone had dumped him in the middle of antarteaca, or made him do the Ice Bucket Challenge. his dam was gonna **burst**! the soggy Apple fell out of his mouth and rolled away on the desk. he finally culd speak-o!!

"Z-Zwo Tero...! I cant hold it back any longer, nngh!" hiro cried as his ass continued to be violated by the large corn on a cob, the gravy beginning to slide down to his stomach now. His tummy was warm like he was baking a lil turkey in it. his and zero two's lil twerky.

Zero Two's thrusts and handjobbing ACCELERATED like she was in a car chase with the popo. hero's pathetic penis let out a shiver as all the pressure piled up at the tip of his wand.

" _CO_... _CO_... _COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOO_!!!!" Hiro CUMMED, urine mixed with a little blood hosing out of his little ornament (from how hard zero two had rubbed him) while his walls clenched around president tsu's strap-cob. His butt cheeks squeezed around the makeshift dildo all while zero two continued to plow into him.

Zero two went between each of his cheeks and slapped them harshly, leaving a big, red handprint for later. "wut a good little turkey..." she said seductively.

"Haa... ha..." hiro panted with his tongue out, tears sliding down his cheeks while his ass walls continued to spazz around zero two's edible and gravy-covered dildo. his ass hurted so much that he felt like his anus would suffer prolapse! (a.k.a his walls would collapse like a deflated vagigura)

The strap-on let out a _looong_ wet, shlick noise as zero two exited hiro's plump and defiled cheeks. the gravy still drooped off the corncob, spilling onto her optic desk. There were seeveral pieces of corn missing meaning that they must be stuck inside hero's asshole. Zero two licked her sexy lips. Lunch time.

she took her gravy covered hand and forced it into huro's mouth.

"Succ on it like a good turkey," she ordered in such a hot and sexi voice that Hiro couldn't resist. not like he was strong enough to deny somepony like president Two anyway! so, he succed on her gravy-filled hand, running his warm tongue between her fingers. he involuntarily was forced to swallow his own cum and Ròjo life juice in the process.

she jerked her fingers into his mouth like she was makin Hiro choke on her dick but w/ her hand instead. while he did that, Zero Two leaned her head down to hilo's asshole and stuck her tongue inside of it. she started to gather the corn that was stuck inside of his large anus gape and munch on it, chewing her lunch for today.

"Mhmm," President Obama moaned. the corn tasted better out of Hiro's ass! she buried her face into his anal gap now, devouring it sloppily like a strait guy going down on some pussy. hero quivered from the sloppy tonguejob, feelin his aching and throbbing penny get hard again from horny. H-He couldn't possibly go another round, could he?!?

Zero two started to suck up **everything** now. she was slurrpin and lappin up the gravy that tasted like complete Asshole now. when hiro moaned, she forced her hand further into Hiro's poor throat, makin his eyes water up as he started to choke. His asphogaus was trembling!

spit and slobber started to cover zt's hand and when she was done having her booty lunch, she slowly withdrew the hand from hiro's mouth with a trail of salivuva. Zero Two gave Hiro's ass another naughty slap that made him whimper like a horny bitch. she wasn't done yeet.

Her sexy, red office heels clicked against the shiny floorboard as she came to the front of Hiro's wet, tear-filled face. Her juicy corncob was right by hiro's Thin white boy lips, several corn missing that it looked like a half-eaten corn on a cob now. It needed more juice now so, zero two grabbed the cranberry sauceu and drippled it all over the corn cob.

"Time for ur lunch now, darrin," winked Zero two.

"* **nervous gulp**!*" hiro said. "z-zero two, i'm not really hungry i– mmMMF!!!"

before Hiro could utter another word, Zylofone Tax had stuffed the cranberry cob strap-on into his mouth. it went all the way down hiro's throat, making a bit of vomit come up it but then rush back down like when you almost puke but don't. Zero started to facef*ck him with her corny dildo, the tip of the Thenksghetto vegetable beating on the back of hIro's throat like a drum.

It hurted, but it hurted so good..? more tares slid down Hiro's face and drool started to leave his mouth, dripping his chin with it. fuck, it felt so good! he was chokin and he couldn't brathe, but his penis quivering said he was havin a good time hear.

"Succ it all up like a good turkey wurkey," the Prez said as she gripped onto his hair. however, the grip was so hard that she accidentally tore out a couple strands of huro's hair leaving a bald patch on it. Naturally, hiro yelled from the assault but zeo to silenced him by stuffing the corn cob deeper into his mouth.

At the sam time, Zega started rubbing her own clit ferociously. she wa sgonna cum and so was he!

"d-darrlin, let's come together. né?" Ero moaned. After a couple of seconds, they exploded together in excstascy. Hiro pissed and came some moar all over zero's desk (she would lick that up later) while zero two squirted into Hiro's face which made him more horny. he tried to lick up the pussy juice desperately by licking his tongue arund his face like a thirsty fool.

"hehe don't worry darling, there's more where that came from."

Ch*ist! Hiro couldn't believe how sexy she was. Maybe God really is a woman? he might flip religions by the end of today.

"Haah... Heh... T-That was really grate, Honey," said Hiro.

"Shut up. I'm not done yet–"

A sweatdrop rolled down Harry Styles' sweaty forehead. "Háh?" he said with a nervous smile. Just then, zero two flipped him around so that his cute and round ass faced her again. fear filled hiro because he didnt think he could handle another ass fuck!

Zero Twin's tongue ran between her lips in sexy fashion. She took the Red and half-gooey apple into her hand, then drippled hot caramel all over it with another sauce bottle.

"let's seee how far up ur ass this can go~"

Without further ado, Cero Dos stuffed the apple into hiro's anal gap. The gap was big enough that it surrprisingly actually fit the apple, stretching out Hero's ass walls even more like it was Play-Do. hiro could feel his was burning from the size of the apple inside his entire anus, but also from the caramel sliddin' down his ass. it would defs be sticky and harden up later (a free popsicle for ZT).

Hiro moaned like a whore as his Not-Gf pushed the apple deeper into his asshole. the apple started to CRACK and split in half inside his ass from the pleasure, the pieces sliding into his anal gap and filling it up completely.

"Eeeeh, free candy~" zero two said as she took out an apple, caramel slice from hiro's ass and ate it casually. It tasted like ass as expected but zt loved it. Just as she went for another peace there was a knock on the door.

"Prez Two, trump is invading Tokyo with missles," said Assistant Goro.

Zero didn't like being interrupted, so she gave an annoyed eye-roll. "tell the military to deal with it until i get done with lunch."

"yes, m'am," assistant goro said before leaving.

"Now where were we?" Zero Two said seductively as she spread hiro's ass cheeks again. Hiro felt a nervous feeling overcome him like a bad omen. This would be a long Thenksgetting!


	11. CHRISTMAS In The MALLXXX

**CHRISTMAS In The MALLXXX:**

 **A/N we sincerely apologize for not updating in a while. we have decided to present this Christmas Special to all of our wonderful readers since our last holiday special was for Halloween. Please enjoy, arigatou.**

* * *

(music_note_emoji) _Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle allll the waaaay-_ (music_note_emoji)

"Isn't this kewl, guys?!" zorome seed, who was dressed in a green Elf outfit with the humilating overalls and pointy hat.

the squad were all at el mâll working 555 yen (that's 5 dollars) miles per hour as Santa Claude's helpers. All they had to do was stand there and smile and talk to the childs. it was easy peesy for Kokoro who already was a mámá but her unnerving aura actually was making the children of the corn afraid of her, so she wasnt doing too béne.

The hole time zelda was hoping his """massive"" boner wasnt visible in his skin-tightó elf uniform from looking at the girls in their sexy santa dresses which was most likely bought from Pātī City. their bright red santa dresses stopped right at their cake which was making not only zorome but the boys hot nervous.

"what's so cool about being a fat guy's slave?" remarked motsuru who was not having it. despite being rich, he was always getting pulled into these dumbass jobs with these damn idiots.

"WATCH YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH, DUDE! DON'T TALK ABOUT THE SANTA LIKE THAT!" zorome yelled, offended becaus he stilled believed in santa. Only futoshi, goro, and hiro all realized this and didn't want to break his poor Christmassú spirit by telllong zorome the truth.

mitsuru rolled his eyes and crossed his arms against his chest. Not a single child has come to him yet because of how angry he looked and he was happy about that.

"yeah it's because of santa that we can eat these yummy snacks" futoshi said with a cute and derpy smile as he chugged another carton of egg nog. it was to wash down the christmas cookies he stole from the buffet table.

it was meant for all of them but at this rate there will be nothing left for their growling stomachs. their break time wasn't until 5 more hours, but futoshi had stuffed a large amount of snacks into his back pocket to eat on the job. the Snickers commercial warned him that he wasn't himself when he's hungry, so he was eating to do his best on the job.

the bois highkey thot that was just an excuse to eat tho.

"hey whare did zero tuna go?" asked miku saucily with her hands on her hips. Zorome gulped thiccly as he watched how her santa skirt hugged her hourglass shaped hips so nicely. Shakira was write; hips don't lie.

everyone looked around from their only pink-haired friend since it shouldn't be afraid to spot out an anime protagonist in a crowd of normies.

"Umm... zero two is on santa's lap," goro replied who pointed a finger to the big man who sat on his velvety satin throne. There zero Tee was with her beautiful, long legs crossed, leaning into Santa mighty seductively with her cleavage pushed out and rubbing into santa's cheek.

actually the mall santa was Hiro in a costume with artifical roundness, so zt was taking advantage of her job to get some time with her darling. Everyone need hiro was actually santa, but the boys didn't want to tell Zorome that or he'll be crushed... (emotionally).

"hey darwin, do u know what i want?" zero two said in a winky voice, her hand trailing south on santa Hiro's chest. She was a lil tipsy from all the vodka she secretly drunk on the job, put into a water bottle to make it seem like she was just drinking some nice and healthy H2O.

"w-what's that, little girl?" Hiro asked nervesly, afraid that his unconfirmed girlfriend was about to sex him in front of all these people. However at the same time the thot of public sex aroused him just as much as it aroused zero two who was a natural nudist.

just like at the club, Zero Ní wasn't afraid to wank him in front of all theese children. hiro looked to his friends for help without saying anything, but they didn't acknowledge him.

"I want,... Darwling butt-naked under my tree in just red ribbon," zero two whispered tipsly into santa hero's ear which made a chill rush down his spine like a tsunami. her hand was still trailing north! Ruh Roh! santa only knew about that south life and didn't want to know what happened down north!

 _'i-i have a bad feelin' about this, scoob_ ," thot hiro to himself.

"mama, that girl is fondling santa's privates!" said a random child loud enough for everyone to hear. Hero's face went beet red and zero two's hand was still sliding inside his ugly ass black belt. Hiro was getting so nervous he couldn't handle it anymoar. There was a clean boner inside his pants now which meant trouble for him!

"U-UHM, NEXTÓ!" hiro yelled for the next actual kid in line, but zero two didn't move from his lap and started to touch his Little One. a jolt went up hiro's dick like lightning.

It took the mall security to come over and take her away for her to leave the premises. zero Two don't go down without a fight though, breaking one of the coppers' arms before they dragged her into some shady back room. Hiro felt relief but was also worried now since Zero would most likely be fired from her job and banned from the mall now.

" _sigh,_ " hiro sighed. Just as he closed his eyes, he felt a large weight sit straight on his erection which made Hiro's eyes water up from the pain. he thought it was another kid but when he opened his eyes it was... ZOROME sitting on his lap with an excited, childish grin.

o right, his friend believed in santa too. Helen couldn't beleve his friend was a 21 year old adult but he was defintely midget enough to cum across as a 12 year old. Hiro was neverous again becuz he couldn't let his friend know that he was pretending to be santa!

"w-what do you want, zorome?" asked Hiro in the fakest deep voice ever. lickily, zerome was too dumb to realize this.

"WOAH! you already know my name, santa?! HEH, i must be on the **TOP** of your list huh?!? AWW YEA" zorome shouted excitedly.

Hiro gulped at the slip up he made and was once again glad that his friend was stupidó.

"what do u want for christmas zorome?"

"OH YEAH! okay so-" zorome got comfortable on Fake Santa's lap, crushing hiro's little boner enough more with his weight. It made Hilo uncofmortable bc his dock was going in between zone's buttchecks but he wasn't gay or bisexy. he was only attracted to zero two and her Babelicious horns.

"holy f*uck santa what is that in ur pocket? a candy cane?" Zorome asked and used his hand to grope hiro's dick which made him squeak like the chicken toy that screamed.

the mall went **silent,** but **we wish you a merry christmas** was still blasting in the background,

"U-UH... I MEAN... it's just a gift for one of the children can you plz get off it?" hiro begged.

"OH! well why didn't u just say so, man?!" zoom thankfully moved his butt off of his Manhood and allowed the air to get to it again. Hiro's crotch felt free again. "s-so... your wishlist?"

"ok so, for christmas i want u to get me a bitch, santa," zimber said as he smiled turned into a pervert smirk, eyebrow raised.

"A-A what? Nānī?" asked Hiro. A bitch? you can't just ask for a person! hiro already felt exhausted from how stupid he friend was. He would always ask santa for a girlfriend until he became fifteen so that's how hilo know it didn't work that way.

but..., he couldn't break his friend's christopher spirit.

"i see. what kind of... bitch do u want in particular?" hiro asked only to amuse him.

"so glad you asked! i want a bitch with a big ass and fat boobs. like the size of basketballs man, oh and i want her to have child bearing hips and long hair for me to pull on during sex. s-she has to be assertive and dominate! anywhere between the age of 19 and 78 is fine with me."

Yare yare daze. Hiro knew his friend was into some weird shit, but his limit was seventy eight? he had to hold back from upchucking the vodka zero two force fed him with her sexy red lips. he couldn't even imagine being dominated by a granny, only zero two.

"o...kay..." hiro said with a forced, pained grin who nodded his head.

"OH AND I ALSO WANT A NICE ASS CAR! like the kind of Pimpù my Ride-ò. i also want to add onto my first wish. instead of one bitch, i want like 20 of them! u can't do that can't you santa?!" zorome asked excitedy like a little boy.

Hiro just smiled at him like the 12th emoji in the iOS keyboard counting vertically. "yeah... santa will do all of that for you, zoromeh."

"YOOÍSHA!!!! i knew i could trust u, pops! getting this job as your helper was the best idea i ever had! i cant believe it was so easy too," zorome said proudly with a shit-eating grin, pushing out his manly.

"Gulp" gulped Hiro, looking guiltly to the side. it was gonna succ when zoom woke up on Kurisumasu morning and their weren't 20 cheap sluts and a 2billion yen Bugatti under his Chryselor tree! But then hiro remembered it wouldnt be his problem, it would be Santa's when Zorome sent him a bunch of angery hate e-mails thru his tears.

Thankfully he himself didnt crush Zolom's Christmas Spiritō like Squidward did to Spongebob in the Christmas Special.

"Haha... Merī クリスマス little shota!" Said hiro still in his horrible Santakurōsu voice, waving as zorome **FINALLY** got off his weak, bony, incel lap. Hilo's grin was as fake as Kim Kardashian's breasts.

As Zoromē was skipping away like he was high or smthng (but really the only thing he was high off of was Christmas Spirit!), a loud K-BOOM!!!! was heard ringing out all throughout the mall!

 **"OH MY GOD!!!!!"** hiro yelled in an old joseph joestar ass voice. The line of kids started screeching as well as everywun (even da parents) went into a PANIC. What was going on?! Usually the mall was peaceful and quiet.

"HÄÄÄÄÄH?!" Screamed Zolome, shaking n fallin onto the ground right in fromt of the others, who were shocked as well.

The glass ceiling in the center of the two story fancy pants mall **SHATTER** into a gazillion tiny little pieces. The shards were falling like deadly snowflakes onto the terrified people below. some dumb kids even stuck theyre tongues out to catch some """snowflakes""", resulting in bleeding and some annoyed eyerolls from Mittsuro.

Sevral TERRORISTS began propelling down from heavy duty carbon fiber ropes Ra*nbow 6 S*ege style! They had Hamburglar ski masks on to hid their identities. Also some RPG's and grenades were strapped to their backs, and they were holdin Ak-47's that had obnoxious paintjobs. To be extra, the nine terroristas also had Santā Clause hats on in the spirit of christmas time.

at this point Kokoro was SCREAMING bloody murder (fair because it was probably about to be a massacre) and holding onto Mikuu for deer life. Miku Mouse took advantage of this and was slowly caressing her breasts and movin her hands toward that sweet KokoKoochie (which wasnt hard bc of the skimpy Santa dresses makin easy access).

Everyone else ignored this borderline sexual harassment cause they could see Cocoro was blushing from getting so aroused and wet.

"Haha.. wtf?" said Goro shakily and confusedly. Pee started dripping down his elf pantalones."why are terroritz raiding a MALL anyway?"

"Maybe theyre hear for the crazy good deals!" offered Futoshi, who had just bitten the head off a gingerbread cookie (foreshadowing of what would happen to all of them soon?!?!?!) "Some of these stroes have 30-75% yen off! that sounds like a pretty valid reason for murder and burglary!"

"Damn, you're right," saidō gorro, shaking his head still in disgust. He looked around and...HIRO WAS GONE! "Nani?! Where's Hiro-kun? And Zero Toad?!?"

"Huh? Whaddya mean, he stayed home remembr?" Questioned zorome, because he thot that Mall Santa was the real santa and not just Hiro in a cheap Spirit halloween store costume!

Everyone stared at him. Shit! They wer gonna crush his christopher spearit!

Zorkme blinked at them.

"OHHHHHHH I GET IT, 02 is here on a date w/ hiro huh!" siad zorome stupidly, making everyone (besides moosuru) sigh in Relieve.

The gang had all this time to run like all the other reasonable civilians but instead they were havin this convo! WTF! They all turned their head back to the crime scene and soon-to-be murder scene when they heard a loud **THUD** hit the ground. All 9 terrorists have landed, pointing their weapons at everyone who **gasped loudly.**

 **"Dont worry Santa will save us!"** whispered Zorr confidently. He didnt even raise his arms up in the air like the others did. The rest of the Gang look at him dispointtedly.

"STOP right there and shut the hell up!" Snapped the leader of the terorisutos. The only identifying features any of them could see wer his pale blond hair and light pickle green eyes. He was kinda short and non-threateening for a terror tbh! "'If any of u move or say ANYTHING else ur all gonna get kill!"

Everyone gulped thinly and hoped and prayed to Jesus that Zorome wouldnt speak.

Behind el leader, a guy with wine red hair was setting up a BOMB right where santa's chair was. It was BIG alright and could probably blow up the hole mall!

"Listen up," said leader-san, "you all have unifroms on which means youre employeets here, rite?" Everyone nodded. "Show us to the Gucci and Versace stores you paisanos!"

everyone **gulp**. they weren't rich, so they actually didn't know where gucci was because they could never afford it. The only people who had fat loot here was mitsuru and zero two , butttt zero two was gone due to... illegal circumstances. Everyone's head turned to Mitsuru in hope, silently staring at him with scared puppy dog eyes.

"Fi-Fi-Fine. I'll lead the way," Mitsuru scoffed shakily, trying to pretend that he wasn't shitting himself right now. how many deathly encountours was he gonna have?!?

He wheeled away as the group and the Skittles-colored terrorists followed behind him with their guns pointed at their heads.

"ROLL FASTER **WHEELS**! we don't have all day!" the one with the red wine hair yelled angrily, kicking the back of mitsucky's wheelchair. the poor man let out a yelp as his wheelchair went rolling forward like a car with a broken gas pedal, until it collided with an escalator and he went rolling down it large, painful thumps.

the fact that motsuru didn't scream led the squad to believe that he was most likely dead. Yikes.

"MINETA!!!!!!!" yelled Kokoro, ready to chase after her DECEASED boo but one of the gun man pressed the end of his gun against the back of the blondie's head.

"SHUT UP, BITCH! BRING US INTO THE GUCCI MANE STORE!"

Miku had to lead her teary-eyed friend by her arm to Gospel. two gunners stayed by the door to keep watch while the other dos went into the shop and started to toss everything on the shelf into a giant white trashbag. They even took all the cash from the register and stuffed it into the overflowing bag. while the nobodi was looking, miku tooo advantage of this situation to slip some Gucci lipstick into her A-Cup bra pad.

"Aww, yeah! We're gonna get some SERIOUS loot from this!" said the teerrorist with purple-durple hair sticking out of his ski mask and a sickening grin.

"kami-samA... help us," whispered kokoro inside her head.

meanwhile, Zorome's arms were getting sore from holding them up. He was hurt that santa didn't save them all yet.

"s-surely santa is just thinking of a great scheme right now as we speak," suggested Zorome nervously. it didn't even sound like he believed himself, but nobody pointed it out since they would get shot for speaking anyway.

"Alright putos, bring us to versace no–"

" **ÁHHHHHHHHHH**!!" Goro randomly battle cried and ran towards the terroriststs with no plan in mind. The rainbow siege were caught off-guard.

"G-Goro-kun! wat are you doing?!?" yelled Kokoro.

"i'm saving you, guys! hurry up and ru–"

 *** BANG ***

Goro fell down.

 *** SILENCE ***

goro was laying down on the floor, looking like a dead roadkill as blood poured out from underneath him. one of the gun peeps had shot him clean in the chest. His move was idiotic, so honestly everyone expected his to happen but it was still sad for the few moments that squad 13 would remember that Goro was a friend of theirs.

the blonde-haired terror leaned down and stole Goshi's entire wallet from his pants pocket and stuffed it into his own pocket. zorome was mentally cursing but not because his friend died, but because he was thinking about stealin goro's wallet first.

" **F** ," said Futoshi, paying his respects to gordan.

"SHUT UP YOU FAT SHIT!" the one with keylime pie colored hair yelled at futoshi, sticking her mini uzi against his chin.

zorome GULPED as he suddenly recalled who these people were! he heard on the dark web that there was a new terrorist group running around called WASWAS (reverse ISIS), steeling expensive name brandó things. nobody knew what they did them with tho. they were all recognizable by having _Taste The Rainbow TM _ass hair though!

"hey, i really want to buy some beats while we're here," said the period blood-haired WASWAS member randomly, scratching his balls like an ape.

 _ **JUST THEN**_ the glass window for the store **shattered **and out came... **ZERO TWO?!?** she did a spin and landed perfectly on the ground in her knee-high Santa Boots like in episode 3. somehow she even still had her hat on which didn't fall off at all! shattered glass was all around her and she slowly stood up sexily with a ready to kill n' roll look. It was the same look she had at the strip club before she committed felony.

in her hands was a... **LOCKET RAUNCHER!**

" **HOLY [BEEP]!** " yelled Zorome dramatically.

"heh... i never thought we'll see you again," said blonde leader-san, rifle still raised at zero two. Everyone except ZT and WASWAS was confused about what the bougie blonde shota meant.

"give us the order to shoot her already!" said the wine-haired one impatiently, itching to pull the trigger already. His rifle was ready to hatch.

"wait. i want to antagonize her some more. how's your stripper business going? i heard the place was shut down after-"

 ** _*KA-BOOOOOM*_**

the poor idiots took too much time talking that they couldn't save themselves from the blast of Zero Two's rocket launcher. there was now a giant hole in the middle of gucci that showed the outside and the burned gucci products rained from the ceiling. miku was desperately stuffing the undamaged loot into her bra and into her panties. none of the WASWAS corpses were left from the blast. WASWAS was literally **waswas** and the day was... SAVED?!

Zero two wiped some sweat off her forehead sexily and dropped the rocket launcher onto the floor. Nobody asked where she got that ridiculous thing since they knew zero two had shady resources and managed to get out of trouble through some miraculous way.

"ZERO TWO ARE YOU OKAY!!?" yelled hiro who came running into the shop, his cheap and shitty santa beard slipping off his face.

"yes, darwin," zero two said with a smile, running towards her little submissive bottom and jumping onto him.

"did you know those people?" asked Miku whose bra size drastically went from A cup to G cup due to all the gucci products she stuffed into her own shirt.

Zero two ignored them all for Hero who she was now getting onto her knees and unbuckling his fugly back belt. Goro was still alive but only barely, dragging his body out of Gucci while leaving a blood trail behind himself. he needed hospitalization but nobodi was calling 911.

"H-Háh? What are you doing, Zero Two?" asked Hiro, a sweatdrop bead rolling down his forehead.

" **HOLY FUCK! ZERO TWO IS GIVING SANTA A BLOWJOB! I GOTTA RECORD THIS**!" zorome yelled ass he took out his cracked, shitty samsung android (he upgraded from the shitty iPhone). had he zoomed in on the face he would've noticed that Hiro was actually santa since his disguise was comin off, but his android was so shitty that the zoom was as quality as a flip phone.

needless to say, zorome would keep his inoocence (and stupidity).

"damn, santa whines a lot like Hiro's submissive ass, huh. too bad he isn't here to see this!" zorome said as he thought about the 100k views this video would make him on xfranxxster.

[00:00:02]

"I'm so glad all of us are okay now," futoshi smiled :)) as he went back to stuffing his face like he didn't just almost die by the hands of a Terrorist.

[00:00:01]

"chottô látte... aren't we forgetting something?" asked kaity-chan, but nobody paid attention to her.

It wasn't until it was too late did all of them realize the bomb in the middle of the mall was still going!

[00:00:00]

 ***KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOM!***

 **\- TO BE CONTINUED -**


	12. ROLEPLAYING to the GATEXXX (PART I)

"I don't think this idea is very daijobou," said Futoshi as he bit into his Pretty Patty from Sugar Factory.

Right now, Zorome and Futoshi were about to create a fake fursona account to troll the furry fandom and maybe roleplay. The original idea was to make a dating profile on FurryMet, but because Zorome didn't have any cash in his bank account left after the identity theft fraud and Futoshi refused to pay for anything outside of food and BTS merch, they had to use Twitter as a watered down Tinder (but for furries).

"Don't worry about it, bro! Nobody will even know it's us," Zorome reassured him nonchalantly as if all of his ideas didn't always end them up in near death situations, or nearly leave them with a criminal record.

Zorome received the "brilliant" idea to create a furry profile after he watched a video of a youtuber trolling furry discord servers. He watched shitty videos like that in his free time despite constantly dragging Hiro for his lack of a life and job. The hypocrisy jumped out.

He scrolled up through several tweets on his timeline, not even stopping to like them since Zorome only liked his own tweets from his empty accounts to make it seem like people cared about his tweets.

TheVirginKiller:

kinda want my pussy eaten right now... darling, i know you're reading this. [kiss_heart_emoji]

2:00 AM • 1/15/97 • Twitter for Ferrari

678 Retweets, 150 Likes

Reply from FakeVirginMary Kokoro ココロ:

oof, you said it :))

2:12 AM • 1/15/17 • Twitter for Nokia

0 Retweets, 3 Likes

[Scroll down for the rest of this thread]

JesusAllDay:

haha... hah? [sweatdrop_emoji]

2:04 AM • 1/15/19 • Twitter for LeapFrog Tablet

Reply from LILBTHEBASEDGOD (Verified Checkmark):

n*gga, what the fuck? leapfrog? LMAOOO

700 Retweets, 1.5k Likes

Reply from  TupacIsAlive:

leapfrog man? [unsure_man_pursing_his_lips_out .gif]

Reply from  H0miezforlyfe:

what did you search for that gif?

After clicking all of Twitter's buttons for 20 seconds, Zorome finally found the 'Log Out' option and selected 'Sign Up' from the homepage. Let the fun startó:

"Yoish! Let's start with a username first," said Zany with a smirk as he tried to use his (1) braincell to think of something epic but hilarious.

"How about JungkooksUncircumcisedCock?" Futoshi chipped in with his mouth full, squishing the obnoxiously artificially colored grease around in his mouth with each bite.

"No, man! That's too long and it has to be furry related! Uhh... How about..." The keyboards started clinkin, "thicc... Furboy."

[ **Username** : thiccFurboy]

"Hmm, I guess that's fine too," Fatty said as he continued to munch, not actually caring about this "genius" idea Zorome had planned (in Zap's own words). He actually felt scammed since his best friend promised to hook him up with a hot babe again (like Zero Two), but instead he was being forced to interact with weirdos for Zorome's own intertainment.

"Cool! This is gonna be so dope, dude. Okay, now for your password–"

[ **Password** : * * * * * * ]

"Chotto a minute. What did you put for my pass?" Futoshi questioned as he leaned over Zorome's seat, pressing the weight of his thickness against his best friend's flimsy and half-tattered Mickey Mousr chair that was meant for a little kid. The condiments from his McQuarterPound dripping onto Zorome's already questionably sticky keyboard like his Nasty Patty with Hiro's cock back in Chapter 3.

"gross, Dude! Watch where you're putting that thing," Zorome said in Disgust before he unrolled the toilet paper that was conviently always by his computer and quickly wiped down his keyboard. The year-old white stains on it didn't come up tho.

"Anyway, the password is ZoromesBDE," he said smugly as he tossed the soggy toilet paper onto the ground, joining the rest of the clutter on his messy floor since he never cleaned his room up and neither did Futoshi. It was fortunate that he never invited Miku up to their room, or else she might've said something along the lines of "Damn, bitch. You live like this?" like the Twitter meme.

"What is BDE?" asked Futoto.

"It stands for Big Dick Energy, duh! Do you even use twitter, man?"

"But I've seen your dick and it's as long as my pinkie-"

" **ANYWAY** – Let's find you an icon now," said Zorome next, coincidentally interrupting Futoshi just when he was about to humiliate him. Good thing they were having this conversation in person, or he would have to deactivate his normal account if Futoshi said that for everyone to read. He would instantly lose his 1K followers even though 98% of them were bots he used Futoshi's credit card to buy.

"Why does my password have to be related to you also?" Futoshi asked the real question, but Zorome ignored him as if he was suddenly deaf.

"Ho-Holy crap! This photo is perfect," Zoom said while wheezing in his squeaky Minnie Mouseú seat. On his vintage Windows XP monitor, he had a picture pulled up of a random guy's fursona cosplay. It seemed to be a side-by-side photo of a blue and grey wolf, or dog, with a fedora on.

There was fake edgy text on the photo that said "i can be your angle, or yuor devil," with the furry having ClipArt angels wings on the left and two horns and a tail on the right. It was something that you would see on a Cringey Emo Compilation on FranxxTube. Zorome was laughing his flat ass off over the photo, but Futoshi was unamused and had a straight face the entire time.

Anywho, Zit set the icon and finished his profile. Now all they had to do was make a quick bio and follow some single lookin furries.

"What should I put for your bio?" he asked, but before Futoshi could even open his mouth to include his own opinion, Zorome was already typing bullshit in for him:

"I've been listening to Korean music for close to 20 years. The stuff people call K-pop is Superior to western music in almost every way, but Korean music as a whole has more Talent, ability and skill than most all other music from all other countries combined. #furrylivesmatter #kpoplivesmatter #btslivesmatter"

" _silence_ ," futoshi said.

He had been typing this bio so furiously that he was making keyboard ASMR which made Futoshi a lil uncomfy. The keyboard keys were clack clack clacking as Zorom made the final touches, "fixing" his spelling when in reality he just added 5 more spelling mistakes and unnecessary accents and emoji to make it "quirky".

"Perfectō!" shouted Zorome in a yeehaw voice, despite the fact that it was impossible for Futoshi to be a furry slash BTS stan for 20 years since he was only 22. Zorome clicked the 'save' button on his profile with finality once all his changes were completed. The display name next to the  thiccFurboy handle read **Futon** with a bread emoji and then a tongue emoji and horny face emoji.

"Ne, Zorome, are you sure this is gonna work?" asked Futoshi, raising his thick cashew lookin eyebrows skeptically. This acc looked awfully like those fake parody accounts or cringe bots that followed Fatoshi's 10k follower kpop aesthetic tumblr blog just to DM him spam and phishing links. "idk if this will be very convincing..."

"Like I said, these furry Virgins will accept us immediately! Theyre so desperate for sexy RPs, after all!" said Zebra reassuringly, clapping his friend's back.

"Wow Zorome, you sure know a lot about the Furry mindset!" gasped Futoshi genuinely in wonder, a derpy smile on his face.

"Hahah thanks! I did a lot of research on it for my college thesis, so that's how i knew!" Zorome turned his face toward the camera and looked into it like he was on The Office. He really couldnt believe his BFF actually bought that. In actuality, what Zorome had just said was just what he did on the daily. Secretly, he used the Google Chrom Incognito Mode every night to roleplay smut on furry forum boards such as Fur Affinity, so he actually knew a lot about this stuff.

"Anyway" Zorome said to change the subject, "let's try and get some mutuals. What could go wrong?"

 **NARRTOR:** as they would both soon find out, everything would go wrong.

"We just gotta do a quick search thru the tags to find the furry RP verse," Zorome explained, sliding his hot pink Barbie mouse over his Anime Girl with DDD-sized tits mousepad and clicking on the Tweeter search bar.

As soon as he clicked it, Ziggy's twitter search history popped up in the Suggestions section just below the bar.

 **#GRANNY**

 **#BIGASS**

 **#HOTMILF**

 **#UNCENSORED**

 **#PORNGIF**

 **#BDSM**

 **#TORTUREPORN**

 **#HENTAI**

 **"ITA ITA ITA ITA!"** shrieked Zrome in a LOUD, stereotypically racist Japanese voice. He attempted to cover the screen but his body was too small and thin to hide anything. **"CH-CHOTTO, DON'T LOOK—"**

But the damage had already been done. Futoshi would have to bleach his eyeballs later.

"UMM, THAT WASNT FROM ME, HIRO JUST ASKED TO USE TWITTER WHEN HE CAME OVER LAST AND IT WAS ALREADY LOGGED IN," zorome said, quickly clicking the 'X' button to clear the history. His kokoro was pounding so fast that Futoshi could feel his heartbeat vibrations shaking the desktop. He was afraid Zorome might go into cardiac arrest soon, since he had also just drank a hole 3 gallon bottle of Mountain Dew earlier right before booting up his Windows '98 block computer.

"...Right." Futoshi would choose to ignore this 'incident' for the sake of getting this furry dating nonsense over with, despite the fact that if it was HIM, zorome wouldnt hesitate to clown him. The things he did for friendship. After all, this was a Judgement Free Zone, much like Planet Fitness's slogan which he canceled his membership for 3 days after he made his New Years Resolution to lose some weight.

Anyway, this time Furoshi took control of the mouse while picking up his second Pretty Patty (the purple one) and biting off half of it. "Oi, Zorome-kun, what tags do we type in? Youre the one who watched all those videos."

"O-oH, um.. chotto matte, let me think, por favor..." Zork was momentarily distraught over exposing himself but quickly thought back to the furry YT playlist he had played at an annoyingly loud volume earlier last night since he had lost his bootleg AirPods during their ghosthunting adventure back in chapter 6. "try... #furryrp, #lewdrp, and #nsfw first, that should narrow it down"

" alright :) " said futoshi innocently, blissfully unaware of what kind of rabbit hole he was about to go down.

Zorome **gulped** while they waited for the dial up corded internet (they couldn't afford wifi in this part of the ghetto) to load the most popular search results, the buffering symbol nearly burning into the monitor screen. He really hoped some hot anthropomorphic p*rn wouldn't show up immediately because he really didn't need to get a boner after that prior embarrassment. Usually he liked being shamed and degraded but for some reason his peepee just didn't like it today! "Please, just let it be some ugly aesthetic promo posts for now..."

Luckily, just that happened.

" *** WHEW* "** breathed Zorome in horny relief. His eyes that were as radioactively purple as Futoshi's Pretty Patty stared at the first tweet, which was typed out in whack ass font from weirdfontgeneratorDotNet. This furry girl's icon also had an unnecessarily thick white border around the photo, which had the dimensions of a Penny. The computer running internet explorer was so out of date like most Android phones these days that 99% of the letters typed in crazy fonts showed up as squares.

:sparkle_emoji: **beth rainbowfur** :sparkle_emoji:  sluttyfeline2269

.*'. new roleplay account

thirty years exp. '*. —

#MVRP #LEWDRP #FURRYRP

OC, do not repost *

graphics by me

'. scripted by beth uwu

6:29 PM • 7/7/2010 • Twitter for Blackberry

125 Retweets, 54 Likes

Included in the tweet was a slightly scandalous looking picture of the RPer's Fursona, complete with an obnoxious amount of filters put on it in the PicsArt app. They were both getting a headache looking at all the saturation effects.

"Oooo let's pick her" Futotoro said, who was...blushing a little?! Maybe this relationship would end up better than his and Kokoro's and he wouldnt have any child support to pay!

"What? No way dude this is just the first post!" yelled Zorome, suspiciously defensive. There was blood running down his nose. "W-We gotta look through the rest—"

"Dude! We started this dating accoutn to find _me_ new hot babes without children!" Yeah, she was probably sexy under that fursuit.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean _I_ cant get any action—!"

Zorome lunged for the mouse but Futoshi used his chunkiness to **BLOCK** his reach. Unfortunately, in all the commotion they had accidentally sent a Tweet mentioning Beth Rainbowfur. The keysmash had been autocorrected with Microsoft Word 1999.

 **Futon** :bread_emoji: :tongue_emoji: :horny_face_emoji:  thiccFurboy

sluttyfeline2269 hey there babay wanna Smash

3:04 AM • 1/11/92 • Twitter for SouljaWatch

1 Like

"SH*T! I ACCIDENTALLY SENT A TWEET TO HER AND SHE FAVORITED IT!" yelled Futatertot in panic, broathing heavily like a horny pervert.

"ITA... ita, **HÁH**? WHAT DO YOU MEAN _ACCIDENTALLY_?" Zorome slapped Futoshi's pot belly stomach to the side, trying to get a good view of the shitty square-shaped monitor! Futoshi's Mortal Kombat Attack (called the 'Belly Block') had enough force to knock Zorome to the floor and smash his skull causing 0.20% more brain damage and knocked down his HP severely.

He had a slight concussion, but all he had to do was knock his head around like a coconut for his marbles to go back in place. Now Zorome can read the embarrassing tweet Futoshi butt-dialed the sexy furry babe that indeed had (1) like on it from sluttyfeline2269 herself!

"HOLY NUTS! SHE TOTALLY WANTS TO HOOK UP WITH YOU, BRO!" Zorome yelled.

"Wh-What do you we now? Né, Zorome?" Futoshi asked, already getting excited from the thoughts of getting to hook up with the hot babe underneath that furry suit later. He was emitting horny fumes from his nostrils and his cheeks were red and flustered like an alcoholic.

So was Zorome's who was getting all hot and horny like a fucking virgin!

Suddenly, the loud ass Twitter notifications went off, making both Futoshi and Zorome look back at the thick computer monitor.

Reply from  sluttyfeline2269 :sparkle_emoji: **beth rainbowfur** :sparkle_emoji:

haha DM me big boy ;)

3:06 AM • 1/11/19 • Twitter for Wii U

" **OH SHIT!** SHE'S DEFINITELY IN LOVE WITH YOU DUDE! WE GOTEM!" Zorome was shaking Futoshi by the shoulders like an earthquake. Then he moved the mouse and clicked the heart button under her reply. "We can't miss this opportunity when we have her so close! Think of something cool to say!"

"U-Um..." F*ck! The last time he had talked to a girl like this was when he about to sex up Kokoro again until she told him she'd gotten preganant from the last time they banged! He * shivered *. "W-What about-"

AGAIN Zuggles butted in, hitting Futoshi with his bony pointy elbow as he slouched over the computer to type. Just as his fingers went down to click on the faded, bulky keys, the ancient IBM 5000 computer CRASHED due to the hi-tech, horny strain they were putting on it. Smoke as thick as hentai cum start spewing out of the monitor, and then out of the computer itself! Even the floppy disk drive was poppin in and out as fast as Sonic.

"WTF! ARE YOU SRS?" yelled Zorome with King Kong-like rage in his voice. His teeth were pointy like shark teeth in that angery anime way. "G*DDAMMIT! RIGHT WHEN IT WAS GETTING GOOD!" [boner popping up SFX]. He started hitting the top of the computer , but all that did was cause even more sparks to come out of it. Zorome got electroshocked as if Pikachu had struck him with Thunder Bolt, and now he had a white lighting streak going up his hair like Frankenstein.

"What do we do now?" asked Futoshi in nervous. He was sweating buckets and it was really starting to smell! But he really didn't want to miss this chance to hook up with a potentially smokin hot Furry chick! Especially when she was actually interested in him! "Does Twitter work on your phone?"

"No dude I have an Android HTC Thunderbolt (A/N a shitty phone with a misleading cool name) remember! It's not advanced enough to download Tweeter!" He held up his ""new"" fone which he had already managed to crack the plastic screen of. Mayhaps he should've stuck with his iPhone 3! "Fuck! What else can we use?!"

Both of them looked around their gh*tto ass house, which looked similar to Franklin's crackhouse in GTAV. The Jeopardy theme song began to play in the background as precious seconds passed. They were losing time! By now Beth Rainbowfur had probably moved on to another thick wolf-kin boy in her mentions that had an even more aesthetic layout than they did (like the thot she was!).

Suddenly they both had a jimmy neutron BRAIN BLAST.

Finally their eyes landed on... **the kitchen.**

Since Futoshi only used his ~mysterious idol ca-ching~ on bills Zorome wouldn't pay, idol merch, and food, they had a shitty house but the kitchen looked like it belonged in a rich person mansion. So, one of the most expensive items they owned was the super elite Samsung Smart Fridge 30000.

"Yosh! We can use the _refrigerador_!" Futoshi as he snapped his fingers. But really, he was getting kind of hungry again after finishing the entire rainbow of Pretty Patties he had bought from In-N-Out. His tummy was starting to growl as loud as an ear-rape video on youtube. Those Mortal Kombat moves had wasted a lot of SP after all!

"Greatō idea! I didn't know this fridge had Twt on it though!" Zorome said as he scrolled thru the apps on the touchscreen that was located on the fridge door. "Wow! The wonders of modern technology!" As he was typing in the login info and looking through the tl, Footoshi was opening the other fridge door and rummaging around LOUDLY, making Zorome scowl at how not-serious he was being even though it was Zorome who forced him to participating in these dumbass schemes.

"Let me handle these spicy DMs for now," said Zorome in a fake suave voice. "i know ALL the best pick-up lines.' Futoshi knew this was unlikely since Zorome had never had a single gf in all his life, but he let him type while he looked for more food.

DM with sluttyfeline2269 :sparkle_emoji: **beth rainbowfur** :sparkle_emoji:

[ **Futon** :bread_emoji: :tongue_emoji: :horny_face_emoji: is typing...]

 **Futon :bread_emoji: :tongue_emoji: :horny_face_emoji:** : send nudes • Twitter for Samsung Smart Fridge

:sparkle_emoji: **beth rainbowfur** :sparkle_emoji: is typing...]

 **:sparkle_emoji: beth rainbowfur :sparkle_emoji:** : woah their hot stuff ;) • Twitter for PSP

 **:sparkle_emoji: beth rainbowfur :sparkle_emoji:** : alright...,... but make sure you send urs too • Twitter for PSP

:sparkle_emoji: **beth rainbowfur** :sparkle_emoji: sent a link]

 **:sparkle_emoji: beth rainbowfur :sparkle_emoji:** : wwwDotphishingDot8jG73h9Kk5rT6j8iO087yfRDotNet

"SWEET! Time to see some P-U-S-S-Y!" That was something Zooroome had never seen in his short, pathetic incel life. He moved closer to the screen with his bloody nose sniffling pervertedly and a creepy sex offender smile widening on his lips.

"Häh? Some what?" Sticking his head out of the fridge, Futoshi looked at the DMs on screen. He closed the door and was holding a package of Oreos but the middle row was replaced with salsa. He was dipping the cookies inside and eating them which made Zorome want to instantly barf as he watched him. Futoshi truly had the weird cravings of a pregnant woman.

Futoshi's eyes scanned the screen when suddenly they went wide as everything clicked. His cheeks were as _rojo_ as Bob the Tomato in the Christian show VeggieTales. "EHH? Are those really her n00dz?!" This was too good to be true, wasn't it?

"Hai! We really scored tonite bro!" They both high-fived each other but unfortunately for Zorome there was leftover salsa and Oreo cream now on his hand. "Alright... time for the holy treasure..."

None of them questioned that this link was suspiciously long and no thumbnail showed up like how Twitter DMs normally do. It was clearly a virus and/or phishing link for deep web hackers like in the movie _Unfriended: Dark Web_ and could potentially lead to their deaths or bank accounts being emptied like Zorome's usual ideas.

BUT they were so hornhorn for some p * * * * that Zorome tapped the link a little _too_ fast to not seem desperate.

Immediately, the screen glitched out and went static-y as various pop-ups came up on the fridge's touchscreen. Ruh roh! Since the fridge was Samsung(TM) brand, this meant it was running on Android (the worst operating system) and so the malware protection was kaka. It was as if Killer Queen had already touched this refrigerator because bars started going up and down the screen, as well as flashing colors like an acid trip. It even started **BURNING** due to all the viruses, making the whole kitchen all hot n stinky!

"NE?! WHAT THE MCH*CK-" screeched Zorome in his shota voice, quickly grabbing a big ass bottle of Coke and spilling it onto the fire, preventing the whole house from going **K-BOOM**. However, the computer in the fridge was still glitching out as if it was having a seizure. It really couldnt handle of the STDs that phishing link had given it.

" :( " said Futoshi, who just felt betrayed by his furry possible soon-to-be-gf. But none of them could connect the dots that Beth Rainbowfur was just a catfishing, scammer hacker who probably had their IP address and credit card info. She was a much better scammer than Zorome and Futoshi were.

"Well shit... Now we have to fix the computer _AND_ the fridge!"

"We've gotta get it done for cheap too, since i'm saving up for the BTS concert next month :) " added Foodtoshi derpily as he ate a whole row of salsa-dipped Oreos that smelled rotten. Apparently it only took .8 seconds for him to get over this ""break up"".

SUDDENLY the fridge started buzzing and spasming again, and then it was making weird electrical sounds like sparks coming from broken wires.

The touchscreen **D.**

Or at least, they thought it did.

In reality it had caused a time warp.

Right back to Akihabara, July 28, 2010.

* * *

 **「TO BE CONTINUED」**


	13. COPPERS on PATROLXXX

**BETA (β) WORLDLINE - CONVERGENCE ATTRACTOR FIELD**

* * *

 _APRIL 21, 20XX_

 _8:22PM_

 _FRIDAY_

 _AKIHABARA, CHIYODA WARD, TOKYO, JAPAN, EASTERN HEMISPHERE, EARTH, MILKY WAY GALAXY_

* * *

It was raining in Akihabara, Tokyo's Electric City. Rainy (with dramatic lightning) and dark and at night, like a typical film noir setting.

Except this wasn't a typical film noir plotline, nor was this in black and white.

* * *

There was a hot **STRIKE** of lightning that illuminated a dark alley (not the bowling kind). This was a spooky shady alley where things such as gangbangs, muggings, illegal drug use/dealings, and kidnappings occurred, because this was the ghetto part of Neo Yokio. Sevreal dumpsters and hobos became visible for a brief second due to the bright light, but...a shiny cop car was visible as well. In fact, the coppers were hear because of the skyrocketing crime rates in the area, making it a gr8 place for a stake-out. This would definitely help them reach their arrest and ticket quotas for the week and earn them tons of moo-la!

Inside the car were 4 people, 3 in the front (this was an XL cop car) and one tied up in the back but not in the way you'd think. The three in front were cops, while **Hiro** was the one in the backseat, not a criminal.

"Z-ZERO TWO! P-Pwease let me leave..." hiro begged, his voice weak from his dry and salty throat. He had been screaming for hours due to _other_ reasons (zt's ''''lunch break'''' :tongue_emoji:) and he really just wanted to go home for the night. After all, how was he gonna help any of them arrest criminales?

"Just sit tight Darling," 02 said sadistically, as if Hiro had a choice on whether he could leave—or move—or not. She looked back at him saucily, slightly turned on. "Mommy will catch the perp we got a tip for soon, and then we can go nighty-nighty at home."

She said it Sexily so Hiro shut up and began to droll like a l*li in hentai. Zero Two reached her arm back and Police Taped Hiro's mouth shut.

At the word 'mommy', Zorome's attention and erection stood up high like Mt. Fuji. "Y-Y-Y-Yeah Hiro, let the _PROFESSIONALS_ handle this, and we'll be done in no time!" He attempted to cover his """police baton""" up with his scrawny hands, but even they couldnt hide his tiny pee-pee.

ZT still noticed his horniness but just rolled her eyes and adjusted her hot, sexy ponytail. She was also wearing sunglasses at night bc she was just that cool, which she also adjusted. "...Anyways, where did this 'anonymous tipper' say the Tattletale Strangler was seen again, Futoshi?"

There was nothing but **SILENCE** for a few seconds because Futoshi, who was in the driver's seat, was casually finishing a LIVE on Idolmaster on full volume since there was nothing else to do. All his stamina had run out on Bandori and he didnt want to buy more after wasting $150 trying to get 4* Abyssal Necromancer Ako in the gacha. "Wh-" he said, looking up from his 1k Yen iPhone XS(CAM). "OH! Gomennasai, the tip said he was spotted near the radio building..."

There was a slightly more dramatic lightning strike as Futato pointed in front of them across the street, which lit up the Akihabara Radio Station.

The cheap windshield wipers SQUEAKED loudly as erryone looked out at the ominous building in front of them. By now the station was closed, and there were no reports of trespassing _inside,_ which meant they wouldn't have to go in and investigate- * whew *. That sounded like a lot of work that these lazy cops didn't want to do!

Zorome got out his binoculars and attempted to look around their position with them. "Alright, our steak-out is...START." It was weird but there was a giant satellite that was lodged into the side of the building, but everyone ignored it. "Yo, has this guy, you know... **killed** anyone?" Zorro said shakily while gulping, suddenly fumblin with his binoculáres as he scanned the crowds of Asians.

"Only snitches," replied Zero Two calmly, sucking suggestively on her coffee flavored lollipop. When she reclined in her chair, her slightly-bigger-than-average breasts poked out from her cleavage. It wasnt a surprise that this cheap Sexy Policewoman Uniform she had gotten for this job from Party Citī couldnt hold in her womanly curves.

Both boys couldn't help but stare at her tig bitties as cliché anime nosebleeds briefly went down their faces.

"W-W-Well, good thing I don't tell lies!" said Zorome susphisly, sweat rolling down his face like the meme of that one sweaty African American guy (no, I'm not racist! I have a black friend). Futoshi could smell the other's musty lie over Takagaki Kaede (from IDOLMASTER: Cinderella Girls) performing KOI KAZE on his iPhone at 500%. 'Musty' because Zoey 101 was _literally_ sweating like a jock who uses AXE deodorant as a 'shower' in the tight police car.

Mayhaps the fact that he hasn't showered in a couple days added to the smell of fuckboy. Just yesterday, he lied about his cock size when he was sexting Miku (aka sexual harassing her). He told her he had a ten inch dangler to flex, but panicked when she asked for picture evidence! So, he hastily and sloppily photoshopped another dude's dick onto him in PicsArt. After he sent it, Miku mysteriously stopped texting him last night.

Well, it wasn't as if the Tattletale Strangler would come over here to shank Zorome for his lies! Zero Two didn't say anything, but she silently rolled down the window to let some 78.09% of nitrogen, 20.95% of oxygen, 0.93% of argon, and 0.04% of carbon dioxide (that's air) into the car.

" **ANYWAY!** " Zorome continued and wiped his sweat off with his arm, causing a couple of sweat droplets to fall on Futoshe's iPear screen and make him miss a note. The screen said 'Nice!' which made Futoshi smile painfully. Nobody understood his idol shit but him though!

"This job sure has me hungry," said Fat Albert, like he's been honestly doing anything but sitting in the driver's seat and tapping his thumbs away on his phone. His favorite part of this job was getting donuts like the common stereotype for coppers. It gave him an excuse to go against his diet which consisted of not eating the cherry that came with ice cream and milkshakes.

"Me too," said Zero Two, her dick-sucking lips coming off of her coffee-flavored lolipop sexily. All the boys in the car felt their meatstick twitch at the erotic scene.

"L-Let's get some donuts then!" Futoshi suggested happily with some drool trickling out of his mouth like in doujinshi.

"What the fuck. Again, man?" asked Zorome. They already had eight, empty family-sized boxes on the floor of the backseat. Futoshi and Zero Two ate all of them and only left ( **one** ) for Zorome.

He felt scammed since he bought it with his own B*tcoins. The only reason he wasn't mad at Zero Sexy about it was because he heard the fat went down to her round ass and THICK chicken thighs. He really wanted to get a peak at her hourglass bod once they left the car. Altho, it was dark so he'll have to use his flashlight!

"Take us to Dunkin Dōnatsu, bitch!" Zero Two said happily and slapped Futoshi's jiggly fat. Just that action alone made him let out a nervous and horny giggle. Futoshi tried to keep himself together as he started the engine without buckling himself up, violating the first rule of safety.

He slammed his foot on the accelerator which caused them to back out into a tree. The back of the car started smoking grey thicc smoke and making *breakin' down* noises, but that was okay beclause this was only a rental police car from the company. With another slam on the accelerator, Futoshi swerved out of their steak-out location with the driving lessons he learned from unrealistic race car games.

As a life hack, they always abused their privilege by turning on their police siren to get to places quicker. **WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO**. In 10 seconds they were at Krispy Krēmē and all their stomachs let out a loud growl at the same time (Hiro included).

"I'll buy it with my black Vista card this time," said Zero Two stated with some unnecessary Airpod Flex energy and tore Hiro's kidnapping duct tape off. She popped her mostly sucked lollipop into his mouth and winked foxily at him. "I'll be back, daaarling."

Futoshi And Zorone were watching thru the rear view mirror the entire time and let out a horny gulp. Zorome was fighting the urge to throw himself back there and still the lollipop from Hilo's mouth once ZT's fat ass left the car. As soon as she left, Futoshi turned the radio station on and started to flip thru some channels. His battery on his iPhone had drained out completely since his iPhone defect (made in China) only lasted for an hour.

 _My wrist, stop watchin', my neck is flossy_

 _Make big deposits, my gloss is poppin'_

 _You like my hair? Gee, thanks, just bought it_

Why the fuck are we listening to Pretty Boy Swag? Turn that shit off," said Zorome who flipped to another station. 'R' by Roselia started playing next, but he kept flipping stations without giving them a chance.

"Forget this! Hand me the aux cord, Futoshi," huffed Zapper who took out his shitty, damaged classic square iPod (the very first one). There was food stains on it, the glass was cracked, and the home button was halfway off, but it still could play music!

Zorome was stupid, but at least his ears had taste. As soon as his iPod Classic was hooked up to the police car, he played the first song on his most frequently played. A Thousand Moles by Vanessa Carlton started to play at a loud, deafening volume that made the car vibrate. Futanari and Zorome knew a banger when they heard it, so they started bopping their heads and sung along with the piano part.

" **DUNDUNDUNDUNDDDDDUNDUNDUNNNNN! MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN WALKING FAST FACES PASS AND IM HOME BOUND! DUNDUNDUNDUNNNNDUNDUN!"** The two boys started to sing with their entire lungs, unknowingly recreating the famous scene from White Chicks.

" **AND I NEED U! DUNDUDNUDNUN! AND I MISS U! DUNDUDNUDNDUDN AND NOW I WOOONDEEER! IF I COULD FALL INTO THE SKY-"** Zorome was headbanging now while he threw the Rock 'N Roll sign like he was a rockstar, getting in the MOOD to this classic early 2000 bop. Futoshi also felt his heart rushing faster than it did when he listened to Bangtan Boys.

" **DO YOU THINK TIME WOULD PASS ME BY! CAUSE YOU KNOW I'D WALK A THOUSAND MILEZ IF I COULD SEEE YOUUUUUU-**

[ _PAUSE_ ]

 **-TONIIIIGHTTTTT!"**

As the vibrations went through Hiro's abused eardrums and made him spasm, he hastily started to do The Worm in the backseat to get out of the duct tape around his wrists. Once his hand was free he started to scratch on the window with his nails to get halp. The bass-boosted piano was too loud for either of the idiot heads to notice Hiro's panicky in the backseat. Once Hiro realized people passing by weren't responding to his S.O.S, he blew his air onto the window and wrote "H-E-L-P M-E" with his finger.

The next verse was coming and he couldn't take this anymore! Zero Two's sexy Mommy bod wasn't worth this torture; he just wanted to go home and play some Fortnite! Maybe even fap to hentai to get rid of his blue balls and then pass out for the night. But he knew he ran out of time once he saw Zero Two's sexy hips sauntering back over to him, two dozen boxes in her hands.

" **IT'S ALWAYS TIMES LIKE THESE WHEN I THINK OF YOU AND I WONDER IF YOU EVER THINK OF-** "

The car door suddenly opened. The Dumbass Duo didn't even notice Zero Two had came back since they were singing like they were contestants on Japan Idol (who would've gotten the buzzer immediately btw). Now it was too late.

"I'm back-" Police Two started to say, but paused abruptly when she caught the two in the middle of a verse.

Six Trillion Years and An Overnight Story kept playing in the background awkwardly, giving away what they were doing the entire time she stepped out.

 _SILENCE_.

"Are you serious?" Zero Two said, sounding DISGUSTED and offended at what she walked in on.

". . ." said Futoshi and Zorome, feeling nerves from what was about to come. but the thought of being punished by Zero Two also made their hotdog weiners start to squirm. **BUT** this might also ruin their chances of getting lucky if Zero Two looks down at them, so they needed to quickly regain the coolness they never had to start with.

"I-I CAN EXPLAINÓ!" Zorome rushed to his defense. Note: _**HIS** because he_ was about to throw Futoshi under the bus as usual! "I TRIED TO GET FUTOSHI TO STOP BUT HE INSISTED!" he claimed, even though the classic iPod hooked up to the aux cord read "Zorome's iTrash" if anyone looked closely.

"I can't believe you two started playing tunes without _me_!"

"Hah?" The two idiotios said in unison, a fat **Bold** question mark appearing over their heads animation style. T-Th-That's what she was angry over?

"I'll show you toys how it's really done. Play Toxic," Zero Two ordered like the dominatrix she was and tossed the boxes of donuts in the backseat. Futoshi and Zany Bros felt horny from the way she called them her "toys". Zorome was fidgeting with his shitty iPod clumsily as he went to the "P's" to play Toxic.

Soon enough, the famous violin screeches filled up the entire car. Right on beat, Zero Two pulled her hair free from her ponytail and _sexily_ shook her hair out while the tres bois watched in horny. Britney Two started to sing in perfect sync with the real Brittany.

" _Darling, can't you see! I'm calling a guy like you should wear a wearing your dangerous I'm falling_!" Zero Spears sung in a saucy, low whisper like she was performing ASMR on YouTube which would earn her 2 Million views right now. She crawled towards Hiro in the backseat who slid back to get away from the assault he knew was about to happen.

But when the back of his head thunked against the window, Hiro realized he run out of room to flee! His poor numb dick and asshole couldn't take anymore. He was already sore from Zero 02 violating his torn up anus with her police baton.

"There's no **_escape_** , I can't wait, I need a hit baby give me it, your dangerous I'm lovin' it," as Zero Two continued to sing, Hiro felt helpless to the way she put so much emphasis on 'escape'. Then suddenly, she started to undo the buttons to her police woman blouse! Her big bitties were already trying to break out beforehand, so they jiggled out like fat and loose water balloons once her bad girls were free.

Hiro, Futoshi, and Zorome gulped in virgin.

Zero Twizzler slapped her golden handcuffs (specially made to flex her riches) around Hiro's wrists to make up for the duct tape that failed on her. The song was about to reach its chorus, so zero two quickly pulled back and started to climb onto the top of the car.

CLICKCLACK went the heels to her 9'inch police stilletos, causing cracks in the front window where she climbed up. Zorome and Futoshi tripped and stumbled over each other to get themselves out of the car, wanting to see what else their female partner in crime would do! Blood was **GUSHING** from their noses at an unrealistic volume and creating an actual crime scene on the spot.

On top of el coche, Zero Two dragged Hero out of one of the broken back windows with her super strength and slammed him down onto the roof as if they were having rough Prom night sex. "Too high, can't come down. Losin' my head, spinnin' 'round and 'round," she continued to sing in her heavenly, Opera-like tones that complemented Britain's voice like chocolate sauce on ice cream.

Zero Twosus grabbed Hiro's collar and lifted his fragile, pussy body up with ease. Then, she huggled his face into her bewbs. " _Do you feel me now_?" 002 did a sexy moan like in the real song, and Zorome and Futoshi were so overcome with arousal that they turnt that shit up louder. The beat of Toxic seemed to blast as loudly as the pulsing of their hearts (dicks). By now, the music was as loud as ear-rape videos on YouToob.

Like a Jpop idol, ZT turned to look at her adoring fans and winked. This only made their cum spill out faster, however, as they reached into their police uniform pants to beat some meat. Another kind of meat would also be beat, which was none other than Hiro-kun's tender ass. Zeta two licked her plump, donut-frosting covered lips (yes she had eaten a box of the Crispy Cremes on the way to the car) and pulled HIRO outward before he could die from asphyxiation by her breasts.

SLURP * said Zero Two as she then licked her darling's whole face. While the chorus played in the background and Hiro was temporarily fazed from his horniness (and blind from her hard nipples pokin his eyes), she flipped Hiro doggy-style in front of her and got out her police baton from the Batman utility belt at her waist. She held it firmly and shoved it thick side first up Hiro's bleached asscrack. She slapped his pale cheeks with her manicured hands, which had real diamonds on each nail, and then viciously groped them as if she were a sexual predator on a crowded Japanese train feeling up the school girls with short skirts.

SQUEEZ* said Hiro's ass, as Zero Ted shoved the baton up even further until she felt it hit one of Hiro's intestines. She laid herself over his bent body as he moaned in a high-pitched tone that made him sound like a complete bitch baby. Meanwhile, Futaba and Zigzag had used up all their cream and were now panting havily as they attempted to regain what little dignity they had left. Fortunately for all of them they couldn't be arrested for public nudity or public sex since they were the (corrupt and idiotic) Po-Po.

The beat DROPPED and then Zero Two began singing with Britney Spirit in unison again, right into Hiro's ear, " _Oh, the taste of your lips, I'm on a ri-_ "

 **SUDDENLY** all tres of their police walkie-talkies crackled to life and made the music stop with a scratch like a record, even tho it was an iPad plugged into the car's stereo system. It probably made such a violent sound because the shrill sound of Brittany's vocals had made the speakers burst.

CODE:002 annoyedly growled and pulled out her Left 4 Dead-esque baton out of Hiro's red, swollen asshole. From the sheer force of Z Two dislodging the makeshift buttplug, hiro went flying off the roof and landed on the wildshield. It broke under his weight as it was crackin earlier via the earthquake power of Zero Two's heels (which weren't very helpful for policework). Now, Hiro was curled up pathetically on the dashboard and exhausted from all the erotic fucking.

Officer Zero Toddler hopped off the vehicle and grumpily grabbed her walky talky. "NANI IS IT?!" she grunted loudly into the mic, now doing slightly more aggressive ASMR.

On the other end, their dispatcher Goro was caught completely off-guard. "OI, ZERO TWO?! ARE FUTOSHI AND ZOROME STILL NEAR U?! THEY DIDNT ANSWER THEIR TITAN COMMUNICATORS!" he sounded like he was in a deep **panic**.

"um... " She glanced over at said boys who were both pulling up their pants. She shook her head in Disappoint. "...Yes," she sighed.

"Stay calm but," Gorro gulped, " **We've tracked the Tattletale Strangler to an area within just a few hundred feet of you! And he's approaching fast!"**

With all the commotion they had caused in the Krispy Kremé parking lot, the Tattletale Strangler must have eluded their field of vision and somehow followed them here from the Akihabara Radio Building!

"N-Ne, Zero Tsu, w-what do we do?!" Futoshit asked his El Capitán nervously and anxiously. He was finally buckling his Police belt up again which barely fit around his thickness—probably because of all those donuts, a box of which he was currently stuffing into his mouth.

"We arrest him," she said cooly, rolling up her sleeves and putting her black Gucci aviators back on. "He'll be sorry he messed with Darling and I's alone time." ZT looked over at the car, which turned on again abruptly.

Zorome was already in the shotgun seat and had reached over quickly to obnoxiously rev up the engine. He had shit himself as soon as he heard Goro say "tattletale strangler" and "approaching fast", so he had tied his seatbelt up tightly for once. "M-M-M-M-M-MOVE OVER, BITCHASS!" he shouted at Hiro and threw him into the backseat again. They needed to GTFO of there S-T-A-T! "H-HURRY AND HOP IN, GUYS!"

"We're not leaving," snapped Zero Two, ripping the keys out of the ignition, making Zorome screech hopelessly as he peed himself. A *click* sfx was heard as he ""sneakily"" locked his door in fear. "Get your weapons out!" yelled ZT passionately like a soldier in the Marines.

"Aye Aye, Captain!" said Futoshi in a perfect impression of the kids from the Spongebob OP. While saying this, he also saluted her.

DBZero Two got out her brass knuckles, except since she was stinkin' rich hers were made from expensive platinum. She pulled her hair back into her ponytail as Futoshi opened the driver side door to use as cover. Zorome was still cowering in the passenger seat, but he had his M1911 handgun out that was shakin and fumblin in his trembling grip as he attempted to reload it and aim it over the dashboard. In the back of the cop car, Hiro was **KO** from all the head damage he had endured tonight.

All odds seemed to be in the Tattletale Strangler's favor...

[rustling fx]

 **"W-W-W-WHO'S THERE?!"** yelled Zorome, but he wasnt menacing (ゴゴゴゴ) at all in his scared voice. The pistol was shaking even more violently, and then Zorome shot the gun a few times, and all of the bullets either hit the hood of the car or the street in front of it.

"Z-Zorome! Watch it!" squeaked Futon. If they weren't careful, the car would go K-BOOM!

Zero Two got down on the ground Metal Gear Solid style under the open door-shield; the only thing that was missing was tactical lingerie to show off her fat booty. Her lovely lady humps still stuck up into the air enticingly, though. Futoshi, who was leaning against the door with his taser in one hand and a choco donut in the other, couldn't help but stare at ZT on the asphalt next to him as his cheeks went red.

[footstep sfx]

"ITA ITA ITA ITA!" shouted Zorome again at the slightest noise. He shot his gun again but this time the sights moved downward just as he pulled the trigger, making him accidentally shoot his own foot! " **F*CK!"** he yelled in pain. "AAHASBSHBSSJSWDNJSKQMWK" Ziggy grabbed his little toesies and tried to stop the bloodflow, but fortunately the bullet hole was already beginning to heal like Deadpool. " _Sugoi_... OI, NEVERMIND, EVERYTHING IS BUON GIORNO!"

meanwhile, ZT turned her attention back to the front of the car, squinting her eyes and pulling out her Glock. She got up and crouched next to Futoshi, peeking up over the door and mounting her gun at the window. Zero Tea aimed the pistol at the area of the parking lot that didn't have any light poles. The policecar's broken headlites also provided **zero** (0) illumination in the creepy darkness of this murderous knight. However Zero Two had been training for so long in the Japanese army before her lengthy stripper career that she basically had night vision now.

[ *shuffling noise ]

"Stop right there! Put your goddamn hands up!" OhTwo stood up swiftly and readied her gun, turning the safety off (a feature Zorome didn't even know about). She stared at the moving mass of shadows coldly. So coldly, that it was turning Futoshii and Zoomers on again. It was sexy whenever she acted so fem dom! The silhouette didn't move, however. "I'm srs! Get on the ground, perp!"

SILENCE.

The shadow continued to stand still.

02 was starting to get MAD!

"FUTOSHI! TASE THIS FUCKER!" barked Captain Zero Two, who was irritated beyond belief at this point. Futoshi thought she was pretty hot when she was pissed like this, though.

He drooled like a grade A _hentai_ (A/N that's pervert in korean) as he charged up his taser. "o-Okay!" Futodshi was ready to rock n' roll! As he stood up while wiping the frosting off his face, he briefly saw Zorome making an Anti-Sea Bear Circle around his seat using several Krispy Cream donuts since his foot had healed already. Futoshi wished he was in the sacred and holy protection of one of those mysterious Circles!

Since he didnt want to die via Zero Two's rage, Fatshi didn't go inside the car like the wimp Zorome was but instead aimed his tazer out of the broken-off window (which was just a hole) and clicked the button.

But...what he didn't know was that the taser was pointed BACKWARDS!

 **ZAP!**

"- **ÑE?!** ZERO TWO-CHAN!" Somehow the taser charge had missed Futoshi's wideness and hit Zero Two instead! She was spasming on the floor while Futoshi panicked.

"MNNMsaNQIWE2E9asjsnwk2WKD" said Zero Two with beer-like foam coming out of her mouth. Even though she was jerking around wildly, she was still glaring at Futoshi with a piercing gaze, making him cum instantly in his pantalones.

Then the Tattletale Strangler stepped into the light. He looked just like he did in Spongebob (if u dont know what he looks like ur too young to be reading this). His face was diarrhea green and scarred up with scars. He also had big Yaoi hands that had stink lines comin off of them, meaning he probably never used soap.

Futoshi **REALLY** didn't want to get manhandled slash pummeled by this guy. He knew his soft marshmallow bod couldn't take this muscly dude on. Maybe Biggufutto, but not the Tator Tail Strangler! "—G-GOMENNASAI ZITTY TWO!" he yelped as he jumped inside of the car, huddling with Zorome inside the protection of the Anti-Sea Bear Circle which definitely wasn't an oval.

On the ground, Zoo Too finished flailing like a seizure. However, instead of being KO'ed like most people would've been, she was breathing heavily and calming down on the ground. She had so many muscles and such a thicc ass that the taser hadn't knocked her out! 002 ripped the taser lines OFF her body angrily. "FUCK, I'LL DO EVERYTHING MYSELF AGAIN!" Getting up on one knee, Zero To grabbed her handgun that had fallen and popped back up behind the door shield.

The Tattletale Struggler began CHARGING at the police car like the Charger zombie in L4D2, catchign Zt off guard! She took a few steps backward and dropped her gun, bc if she shot him to death right away she'd be convicted and sentenced to life. Poppin on her platinum brass knuckles again, Zero Two scowled at the lowlife criminal that had run into the metal door with a * CLANG!* Now, there were a bump coming out of his head.

But Zero TWo was quick! She leapt forward and sucker punched the TT Strangler right in the jaw with her metal knuckles like Wolverine, sending him flying back into the drive thru menu they had outside Crispy Kream. WHOOSH! Zero Titor sexily stepped over to her victim, taking her Glockamole and giving the bad guy a quick pistol-whip to the head, making sure she had gotten her fatality.

However, the TTS was still not knocked out! He grabbed her wrist, breaking her Rolex watch. This made O Too more mad than the fact that he had the audacity to still be conscious. "BITCH!" SHE SCREAMED, headbutting the gross pervy rapist/strangler with her sexy forehead. Her skeleton was made of Adamantium after all, meaning it was super strong and couldn't be broke.

The TittleTale Strangler was moaning as he drifted into unconsciousness. There was blud dripping from his mouth and he had sevral chipped teeth as well as teeth that had jumped out of his mouth. His jaw was also severely dislocated. Now, his head was also dented inwards.

Zero Teo really wished she could've killed the fucker for assaulting an officer, but it would be too much work to go through all the trouble of a trial. Instead, she whipped out her spare set of gold handcuffs and slapped them onto the TrafficTale strangler's beefy hands. She easily slung his body over her shoulder Shrek style and carried him to the backseat of the copper car, throwing him haphazardly next to her Darling. "All in a day's work," said Zorome 2 as she smirked, getting in her cool post-battle one-liner before the credits rolled.

[" ** _THANKS FOR WATCHING!" IN CURSIVE, LOONEY TUNES BACKDROP_** ]


End file.
